Weekend working only

[BLACKTUESDAY1]

Hi, I need to make a decision. I currently work 3 full days per week, dh is self employed and does the school run on my working days meaning he earns less than he could as these 3 days are short for him. I'm in NHS admin and we are stretched to the max at the minute: staff leaving and not being replaced due to massive Trust debt. Each person is doing the job of 3 hence my job is stressful and not enjoyable. I feel highly stressed atm and struggle to keep on top of everything. I have been offered a job working much less hours and over the wkend when dh is off. This would give me all week to do school runs and everything else involved in running the house. I would be far less stressed and dh could work more hours during the week. My only issue is the new job is 2 bands lower than my current one but wouldn't be anywhere near as stressful. Would you take the drop in salary for a better quality of life or will i regret giving up my relatively better paid job?

Would it really be a better quality of life if you never get a weekend off with your dh or get to see your kids at weekends when they are off school ? Surely you would have no family time for a day out or anything? I have spent years working weekends ( although not every weekend) because we could not afford childcare for 4 kids when they were little. It was hard to have so little family time and hard on dh having the kids by himself all weekend. How does your dh feel about having the kids on his own all weekend after a full week at work? When will he get a break or are your kids old enough to not require a lot of care?

How much do you estimate DH would be able to increase his earning by if he got the extra time on those 3 days? How does that compare to the drop you are thinking about taking? How much do you need the money?

How do you feel about not having time as a family, ever, without taking leave?

If the trust is that desperate for your role, how easy would it be to get back into your old job if you decide you want/need to?

I became a SAHM 18 months ago, when our youngest started school. It's been a shock to the system - but we also moved countries.

I'd seriously consider banyroobs comments
It's so hard never being able to plan weekends together
We'd never do it by choice but I work one weekend in two & dh works the other alternate one

My kids are old enough not to require a lot of care (11 and 13). We should be able to stop the school run but my eldest dd has anxiety so that will not be happening any time soon. You lot have made me think a bit. The thought of having every school hol off wiith them with no worries is so appealing and so is being there for all the after school stuff. We dont generally do THAT much at the weekends and I would only be working 6 hrs per day (early or late) so would still have time to do some stuff. He would def be able to make up my wage shortfall......I really dont know what to do! Scared of making a decision I will regret!

I work Friday evening and Sunday day time, and do feel that I miss out a bit on family time (have never been to see my DS play a football match in the four years he'said been playing for a team, missed family Sunday Dinners etc) but on the whole it works well for us.
I used to work 4 days a week in a super stressful Management position, and pay for the kids to be in Nursery and wrap around care. I was paying so much in childcare, and the job was getting worse and worse, it became quite an easy decision to leave in the end.
I found a much less stressful job (Receptionist) at the weekend and five years on I'm still so glad I took the step down. Life is so much easier. We cut our cloth a bit, drive a shittier car and don't holiday abroad, but it's so worth it!
I feel I get plenty of time with the kids, I take them to clubs, they have friends over and I help with homework, and my DH gets to step up and do a bit more (which he wouldn't do if I was there!)
What does your OH think? Could you manage on the money? It really was a great move for us.

Thanks for that GV. Dh is all for it as he finds it quite stressful packing up work early 3 days a week to do the pick ups but he will support me in whatever decision I make. This job is also a receptionist position so way less stress than I have at the moment. I'm glad it worked for you, this is how I hope I will feel if I do decide to do it. Tbh my 2 dcs do more activities after school than at the weekend so could do with me more then

Sounds like it could work for you.
I miss being able to just jump in the car and go camping for the weekend if the sun is shining, or go out and have the occasional few too many on Saturday night, but otherwise it really isn't a big deal (and we still get annual leave right? So we do get a few weekends off, and I make the most of them!)
I look back on that stressful job, where I was trying to do the work of three people and feeling like I was drowning, and I feel so lucky that I had the guts to leave. It's had a positive impact on us all, I'm much nicer to live with now!

I really struggle making decisions sometimes but I have listed the pros and cons with the pros list way longer! Yes, annual leave will mean some weekends off and I love the thought of all the school holidays off with the dc. I am now about 80% sure I will take the weekend job......I think!

Big decisions are scary to make! A list always helps to clarify things.
I cried a whole river whilst deciding to leave my old job.

BTW I love the Reception work now, I just turn up and do my bit, and then leave. It's a revelation! (Still, after five years!!)

That sounds perfect, GV. I'm already dreading work tomorrow and the thought that today could be the end of my working week is quite appealing. I woke up convinced weekend work is the way to go but then start having a wobble again. It may come down to a coin toss

Don't forget, the choice you make doesn't have to be forever.

You can try it for a year or 18 months, if it doesn't work for your family, you can always change. Maybe knowing it is a decision you can reverse will be helpful to take the pressure off.

Also, don't forget in a year's time you will notice an exponential difference in both your DCs maturity. They will be more able to come and go re school and will be building a social life that is quite different to the one they had at primary school.

How does your dh feel about having the kids on his own all weekend after a full week at work? When will he get a break or are your kids old enough to not require a lot of care?

I've spent 16 years working around my now ExH and current DP full time jobs in order to work myself. It has to be done I'm afraid. I'm doing a shift that starts after school and finishes late at night. I hardly see the kids on days I work.

I wouldn't be too concerned about how your DH feels having them after working all week. You work all week to look after them then do your nhs job. When do you get a break??

Thanks for all your messages. I do the majority of care for the dcs anyway and always have done alongside working 3 full days so this move would def make things easier for me. I have been thinking it would be a permanent change but you are right, it can be reversed if it doesn't work out...probably not going back to where I am now but something similar.

The new job and existing one are both NHS so there would be no break in service. I am now 95% certain

Fantastic, good luck