How do you fit everything in? Can't even keep up with the washing :(

[Tatat]

Things just too manic! I work 34 hours a week over 4 days (8.30 til 5.30 with a half hour lunch). How do you manage to keep on top of things- not necessarily housework as I've got past the stage of caring with that but other things that should be done, eg going to the gym or having a life

Up at 6.30... leave house at 7.30... drop DS (2) off at nursery at 8... dash to work (normally 10-15 mins late!)... work through lunch most days so don't even get a chance to pop to shops to get bread/milk /other essentials... mad dash through traffic to get to DS by 6... home by 6.45... ds in bed by 7.30... tidy away his toys unload dishwasher from last night... tidy away breakfast things that have lain there since the morning... prepare dinner eat dinner (prob about 9 oclock)... tidy away dinner things... put on dishwasher

By this time its about 9.30 and I can't rouse myself to do anything else, so although the bare essentials (food) are covered, the things that fall outside this category (eg having the aforementioned life) just don't get a look in.
I only see my precious little man for about 2.5 hours a day and most of that is hardly quality time as we are in the car, and at the end of a long day at nursery he's a tired (but happy) chappy so I would feel cruel and selfish to keep him awake for longer just so I can feel like a better mum.

The remaining 3 days a week are spent trying desperately to be a good wife & mum, clean the house/get food shopping done/ remind DH that I exist /attack washing mountain in bedroom that is so large and heavy it now has a gravitational pull all of its own and draws any clean clothing in the house towards it, just so that I can start all over again on Monday morning

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Surely there's got to be more to life than this? (please please tell me there is!)

w, some people's expectations are too high. They should go to church more and stop watching aspirational programmes on the TV, may be. I think leaving money to one side for lots of political and societal and family reasons it's better that both parents are in paid work. But the thread is really about managing practically. My brother is here tonight, he of the nearly 2 and the 3 year old and is about to have a.... wait for it... full night's sleep here (as the children aren't). I think it's just a having under 5s and not issue - it's very hard work when you do and once they're older it is dead easy in comparison.

There are things I do not that I never did when I had small children. I remember the time when I had a shower every other day because that saved time for example when I had 3 little children and worked full time.

Xenia, it certainly hasn't always been the case that childcare has been outsourced to the extent and in the way that is currently becoming the norm in Westernised countried. To quote 1960's "nirvana" is conveniently taking your point to the extreme.

As for people having too high expectations, you often refer to the expensive and material yourself, I don't understand who you think has unrealistic high expectations - are they only acceptable for some?

If others can look after children perfectly well, why have them at all? I don't understand the point of creating small, dependent humans and spending less time with them than a relative stranger during their most vulnerable years.

WIf others can look after children perfectly well, why have them at all? I don't understand the point of creating small, dependent humans and spending less time with them than a relative stranger during their most vulnerable years."

But why do fathers think it's fine for them to work then? I don't understand. It's not a relative stranger if it's a nanny they know as well as their parents or it's their granny. No one leaves their child with strangers. Even nurseries try to ensure one to one bonding between one carer and child and parents try to avoid those with high turnovers of staff. Sadly many fathers abandon mothers too so it's not the case that blood relatives equals child will never lose a parent either and some parents die. But we all do our best.

If you're saying why have a child as a man or a woman and then work, I'd say why not? You can really love children and babies, which I do, and still enjoy work too. I don't see why it has to be a choice. YOu still spend absolutely masses of time with children as a working parent if you add in the time in the night with babies, morning, afternoon, holidays, weekends. It's a lot. Many non working mothers including on mumsnet have nannies and au pairs too or leave children in creches or with relatives or friends. It's not a stark contrast 24/7 care or work and never see them.