How do you fit everything in? Can't even keep up with the washing :(

[Tatat]

Things just too manic! I work 34 hours a week over 4 days (8.30 til 5.30 with a half hour lunch). How do you manage to keep on top of things- not necessarily housework as I've got past the stage of caring with that but other things that should be done, eg going to the gym or having a life

Up at 6.30... leave house at 7.30... drop DS (2) off at nursery at 8... dash to work (normally 10-15 mins late!)... work through lunch most days so don't even get a chance to pop to shops to get bread/milk /other essentials... mad dash through traffic to get to DS by 6... home by 6.45... ds in bed by 7.30... tidy away his toys unload dishwasher from last night... tidy away breakfast things that have lain there since the morning... prepare dinner eat dinner (prob about 9 oclock)... tidy away dinner things... put on dishwasher

By this time its about 9.30 and I can't rouse myself to do anything else, so although the bare essentials (food) are covered, the things that fall outside this category (eg having the aforementioned life) just don't get a look in.
I only see my precious little man for about 2.5 hours a day and most of that is hardly quality time as we are in the car, and at the end of a long day at nursery he's a tired (but happy) chappy so I would feel cruel and selfish to keep him awake for longer just so I can feel like a better mum.

The remaining 3 days a week are spent trying desperately to be a good wife & mum, clean the house/get food shopping done/ remind DH that I exist /attack washing mountain in bedroom that is so large and heavy it now has a gravitational pull all of its own and draws any clean clothing in the house towards it, just so that I can start all over again on Monday morning

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Surely there's got to be more to life than this? (please please tell me there is!)

Like the idea of buying pretty home organisation things from Ikea- I love being organised but unfortunately I am not someone to whom it comes naturally. Hence my constant battles.
Have toyed with flylady before when I was on mat leave and it did make a difference, maybe I can pursuade dh to move away from the pc for a few minutes every evening so I can check on what task I should be doing!
ALso had a flash of inspiration just now, think I will ask dh to take responsibility for food - shopping of and preparation of- as that would make such a difference. I could do so much in the 1/2 hour whilst he made dinner, it also takes a fair amount of thought (making sure on a Friday night that we have enough for weekend lunches/ds meals as he normally eats at nursery, healthy snacks etc) and just being able to pass the responsibility on to someone else would help I think

Will start doing the daily washing load too, makes such sense, now any tips about how to keep my pigsty of a bedroom tidy enough for me to not have to jump from doorway to bed in the absence of any uncluttered carpet to walk on?

can only redirect you to flylady I'm afraid

she has this system where you do things for 15 minutes a day - your home is divided up into five 'zones' and you spend a week in each

each day you spend 15 mins in your zone either getting rid of crap that shouldn't be there or cleaning it

you can also spend 5 minutes in another room to clear a path if it's frightening

you set a timer and just do 15 mins to make sure that you don't end up getting carried away and burning yourself out

when you visit the website you sign up and she sends you a mass of emails every day which are a bit OTT but after a while you can just do the system without her. It's free - though she will try and convince you to buy her dusters a lot, but you don't have to

you start with babysteps

she is a bit evangelical and mad but I do find it really helpful - also it's nice to have someone to tell me what to do at the end of a hard day rather than staring at the whole mess of house myself and wondering where to start

I do 3 days, 9am-4pm so I get home at 5ish

as soon as I get in from work, I put a wash on, then it spins its merry way whilst I do the tea/bath/bedtime routine for 7pm

dh sorts out our dinner whilst I do this (or we take turns, but mainly he does it)

then I sit down and read the paper until 8pm

then I hang the washing up and sort out whatever needs sorting (sandwiches/bags/ironing yadda yadda). Dh helps when prodded off friggin Youtube

on my days 'off', Mon and Fri, I do a tiny bit of sorting while my girls (4 and 2) help or they play along side

dh usually cooks stuff over the weekend we can have in the week - chilli, curry etc

tonight we have chicken saag and rice sat in the frige waiting to be warmed up

you need a rota, sad and boring, but it works

"Work can be huge fun"
"Twins private school at end of road"
"Nanny to do school collection"
"Housekeeper here every morning"

Xenia, you really are a pompous arse. Go start a thread called "Having it all and bragging about it" and then spend some time with your children.

tatat my tip for bedroom is to be totally ruthless and charity shop/throw out things you don't need or use.It does wonders to the soul and to a relationship to have a clutter free house. I have always been quite untidy but I have dedicated a bit of ime lately to sorting it out (since I became a childminder, so good incentive)

I have transformed dh too, he is now quite domesticated, it soon becomes second nature to want to clear the surfaces, shove your washing away because it is more relaxing to not have to stare at it (mess) the whole time.

I packed a huge suitcase of clothes to store away before charity shopping them just in case I might miss something -I didn't and so then just took them all away leaving my drawers organised and not overflowing. -the less clothes you have saves on washing too esp the kids.

"washing mountain in bedroom that is so large and heavy it now has a gravitational pull all of its own and draws any clean clothing in the house towards it"

That made me laugh.

yes at Xenia

'here are my household tips'

thanks for your input darlin

Sorry, I'm so busy with my important job that I have to trawl mumsnet and post the latest about my amaaaaaaaaaaaazing lifestyle dahling (yawn)

preggerspoppet I love the idea of being ruthless, maybe I will just grab handfulls of my untidy room and sling it, if I miss it then tough at least I've got a tidy room!

Think I just needed a prod to get me going again. Tonight my dh may realise he is living with an invigorated woman and sweep me off my feet with a pre-valentines quickie. Alternatively he might realise he is living with an out of control weirdo and hide, trembling, under the washing pile.

Seriously, get a cleaner. You are going to burn out at this rate. If you and your DH are spending the same amount of time at work, then you should list all the chores, divide them in half and ask your DH to choose a half.

So it's quite literally a 'prod' you require then, hehe.

Sorry.

No, no, no, you PICK your half of the list first!

This is my current system.

Mornings:
I get up early- around 6- so I have time not to feel rushed and grumpy
Wash dress drink coffee and get myself ready before attempting to do anything else.
Put on load of washing
pack the kids' play centre snacks
eat breakfast with boys and partner if he's up
Then at 8am ish I run away leaving all the nagging and walking to school and remembering PE kit to my partner

I either get something for dinner at lunchtime or do an internet shop at some point through the week.

Evenings. I get in at around 6 by which time partner has picked the boys up from after school club
I cook dinner
wash up
tidy kitchen and living room a bit
put away dry washing
Hang up wet washing
do cat litter tray

partner and kids help out as necessary. As partner does all school runs at the moment I'm doing more housework but that is flexible. This arrangement isn't set in stone and will change soon as I have a new, nearer to home job. When I/we stick to this system- about 60% of the time- it works really well. The other 40% of the time I know that we could return to a workable system any time we wanted so I don't worry too much.

TOPPEST TIP: I invite various lovely friends whom I don't want to know the true extent of my untidy nature round for Sunday lunch about every 2/3 weeks and this precipitates a mad Saturday clean, ensuring that we wash floors, hoover, dust and change our bedclothes every so often. (Do you want to come soon, custs?)

Oh no. You have a much better bargaining position if he picks which half he then promises to do.

Besides it's only fair, one of you spplits the chores and the other chooses.

Another top tip is to never leave things lying around. Everything must have a place and that way you avoid clutter. DH is ruthless with this and he has converted me to his mantra.

You selectively quoted my tips though.. I did say with a child of 22 by now, after 22 years of hard labour in the CIty etc now, only now I have the cleaner etc but there's a very important life point in this so bear with me....

How things are now that I'm 45 and perhaps in some senses the ease of my life is because when I was younger I worked hard and full time. You need to fast forward yourselves to various ages and say what should I be doing now to be doing X in 20 years or 40 years time. X might be sitting back earning a lot or X might be a contented housewife glad she's been home for 20 years but thinking ahead to the X is worth it.

Bit unfait to bash Xenia, she is only telling you how she copes. She acknowledges she is lucky to have help. If we could afford it most of us would do like wise. I think the green eyed monster lurks.

I agree that work can be great and schools being close to home are a big help, Xenia. And my partner replaces the roles of nanny and housekeeper in our home which is fab. And I also agree that it's worth thinking "what am I gonna do for fulfilment when my kids are all grown and doing their own thing?" and work that you love can provide one answer.

I am going back to wotk full time in SEp - part time at the mo. I will definitely be gettting a cleaner and someoon to do my ironing.

Oh,just what I need!
I've just gone back to work 4 days a week.
I do an MSc (day's lecture) on the 5th day and run a separate job one lunch hour a week.

My kids are 2 and 6 and my dh is abroad for 6 weeks at a time.

Great to be back at work but aaaaaaaarghhhhhh!!!

Well I love this thread too - am concerned that our laundry mountain might come into orbit around yours - what happens when planets collide??
Just thank your lucky stars you only work 4 days. 4 pretty scary days admittedly but still... I've just started doing five and am wondering how to get by.
Question re Online shopping - don't you just end up with a week's worth of meat where the sell by date is tomorrow? Or mouldy satsumas? both very prevalent in our local supermarket.

Online shopping - we just wouldn't have time to go to a shop. Sometimes I got 30 days without stepping foot in one... bliss... I order on line and it's delivered when the cleaner is here if I get it right and she puts it away. Everyone writes down what they think we need. Just deciphering "cketupt" a minute ago. So we would order a frozen chicken, frozen chicken pieces etc and not so much fresh that would go off. There are risks you don't always get what you want but if 0.1% of the shopping is wrong I can live with that to save the hassle of entering shops. It also cuts bills because you only order what you need and don't have a child next to you badgering you to buy things that aren't good for it.

This will end up like the Yorkshireman sketch in Monty Python.

'Five days??! Pah! That's nothing! I put in a 70 hour week,have 12 kids and do a PhD.'

I think technically I work 7 days a week but it often kind of intermingles with family life so sometimes hard to work out what was a work time and what wasn't. Mind you childrecare 24/7 as a single parent is pretty much 24/7/365.

When I started working full time and had a baby too I was 22 and I remember that difference. There was no longer work and leisure time. Instead there was work and then the work of looking after chidlren - the two jobs, double shifts that most parents do.

Sorry moondog you're right. that's not what I meant - I did 4 until recently and am just in a quandry about whether or nhot to go back to it.
Though I actually have 13 kids. And it's Professor mcLean to you....