"it is unacceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick in my view."

[hunkermunker]

Xenia says "it is unacceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick in my view."

I am interested to know what other people do in this situation.

Well said Rhubarb, I agree.

Yes, and don't be too proud to come on and ask for advice now! We all do it!

Agree Rhubarb.

I never do. My parenting skills are unquestionable.

Rhubarb, you seem to have a rogue "un" in that last post......

Wow, Xenia. How did you know what was wrong if she couldn't tell you? Did you just see her frustration that she wanted to speak and couldn't? And how unbearable frustrating for her. I can't imagine not being able to talk.

rhubarb you arse kisser ,sluuuuuuuuuurp

Yes, she was trying to move her mouth and pointing and then crying and then I said - write... and she couldn't write the letters. So then immediately you think this could be it for the next 70 years trapped in a body just like a stroke victim, well she probably did have a mind stroke, brain bleed. But by the time we got to A&E it was already getting better so it concentrated worry for a shortish period.

On the tonsilitis yes she was in hospital on her own for some of the time and we were all happy about that. People have different views on things. Obviously some things are wrong like 80% of women from Somalia have had their clitorises chopped off or other forms of FMG or parents burning children but other things are within a range of normality. Some mothers don't believe in ever letting the child away from their body night and day. Others go back to work at 2 weeks like me. We don't take children in either category into care because both actions are normal but either might appal some women and be what others accept.

You've confirmed then that you let your sick child be alone in the hospital after an operation, and let the nanny/her siblings do the visiting because neither you nor her father thought it was worthy of a day off work. Sorry, but kicking up clouds of dust in the form of comments about female circumcision or parents burning their children doesn't dilute the fact that that's shockingly neglectful and sad, Xenia.

Well! That's the last time I arse lick!

Fancy going to those efforts to sing someone's praises and then they just ignore you!

But the fact that 80% of somalian women endure genital mutilation doesn't make it right. When my sister worked as a GP in Hackney there was a big Somalian community & she was horrified by what she saw.
I can't go with your argument that normal becomes acceptable.
Leaving a sick child alone or even with a paid carer in hospital seems fairly unusual. Don't want to judge one particular situation, but generally speaking a trully very sick child would surely feel better with a loving, caring parent to hand.

LOL!

Okay, Xenia, are we talking you didn't go in at all that day or are we talking she had a three hour rest and watched telly and saw her syblings for three hours between your DH's shift and yours?

I spent my share of time in the hospital when I was a child. I don't recall my dad every taking the day off work. But certainly my mum came to visit in the day, then my grandparents were there, my sybling, my teacher, I remember a friends mum who was a doctor at the hospital. People came in and out, but Dad came in the evening. I look back, and this seems perfectly normal.

Steady on Greeny. I think that's pretty harsh.

that'll learn ya

.... rhubarb

Report it then, VVV. I don't feel the need to retract it.

Im sure you dont. I still think its harsh. I can navigate my way to the red exclamation mark if I feel the need, but thanks.

I agree it's harsh. I actually chose the words I used, they didn't just appear spontaneously.

If you feel you are qualified to dish out harsh remarks, all power to you lady. Mind you, be careful you don't stumble as you climb down from that ivory tower of yours

Greeny, trust me, I never had you down as the spontaneous sort

How are those two gorgeous boys now - all better?

I live in England in part because I believe in free speech. People can say what they like. There's an argument it's been better for this family and my children that I devoted certain energies to work. If we got her on now age 22 and asked her if she felt damaged or neglected because on that day she was taken in by her father and then left with some pretty nice nurses in a private hospital when she was used to being left with a nanny and is a very self confident child, took the school bus alone to Haberdasher's every day age 5 etc I don't think she'd say she remembered any neglect.

(rhubarb - yes thanks... didn't mean to ignore you; Xenia[ hug ] )

rhuby you arselicker

Yes, that's right VVV, I live in an ivory tower. It's just perfect up here.

Ivory? That is completely UNACCEPTABLE!

Elephant murderer!