Anxiety around getting a job

[LaurenPatrice]

Hello :-)

I am currently creating an on-line course about the anxieties related to getting a job in your 20s. I have 2 children of my own, one of whom is about to leave uni and get her first job.

I am an educator and really want to make the experience of getting your first job a less anxious one, whether that be after leaving education or after a break from work such as becoming a mum.

It would be great if you could answer the following questions:

1. What anxieties do you have about getting a job and what physical effects does your anxiety have on you?
2. What thoughts hold you back and maybe make you put off getting a job?
3. If there was a great, comprehensive on-line course for someone in your situation, how much would you be willing to pay for it?

And if there is anything you want to add please do so :-)

Thank you, I really appreciate your time!

Lauren

1. The biggest anxiety I have had about jobs is working full-time. After being a student for so long, I couldn't wrap my head around working 38hrs week. When would I do things like go to the bank? When would I get groceries? How would I manage to spend time with my family and friends when the most useful part of the day was going to be spent locked in a room? Scheduling life to fit around the job was a learning curve. In almost every job I've had I've ended up taking a sick day (with a migraine) at around 3-4 weeks in. Adapting to a new routine really takes it out of me!

1. What thoughts hold you back and maybe make you put off getting a job?

I was the last of my friends to enter the workforce. I felt nobody would want to hire me because I had no skills and I just assumed that I was useless. It wasn't until talking to lots of people I knew (older and wiser people!) that I began to believe that people would take a chance on a newbie and give me the opportunity to learn. Those discussions led to a job offer and I worked there for 3 years. I didn't realise I was networking, but hey - it worked!

1. That depends on the structure. Are we talking about a set of weekly modules? Webinars? Are there assessments? Very tricky to price the course, especially considering that when I'm unemployed I'm really stingy with the cash

Hello digitaldoughmad...thank you for this...really appreciate it! :-)

Your thoughts and experiences are so valuable to me as they help me paint a picture that others in the same situation will recognise. Concern over the amount of hours is quite a common issue after being in full time education.

Have you explored the possibility that you are an introvert? :-) The working environment can be very draining for those of us who need some down time built into our day. You can get more info here www.quietrev.com/advice-from-susan-cain-1/

My course will be available on my website in the form of modules. Initially I intend to create a mini course to test the appetite for it and to get feed back before I go on to create a signature course. I will probably use webinars to promote it.

If you get the time I would love it if you could give me feed back on my blog post at:
www.perceptionanxiety.com/the-one-thing-you-need-to-do-if-getting-your-first-job-is-filling-you-with-dread/

It's not finished and I do intend to redo the videos...lol... but I'd like to have your opinion on the general feel of it along with the information in it. I hope you don't mind but I've added a couple of things you have said to it...I think they will really resonate with others :-)

My aim with the blog post is to help people get over their initial anxieties and just START!

Thank you once again...hope you're having a great day!

Lauren :-)

I feel that in hindsight I messed up my career by having delusions of grandeur of what a graduate level job should be

At the time I was full of anxiety that what my employers were having me do wasn't 'good enough' and that I was failing at building a career to the point that after 4 years, 4 bloody years!! I gave up on myself got a job in a call centre and started a family, little did I know that I'd have a child with a life long disability and would never be able to have a career again (women in my position only seem to manage a responsible job with a fantastic support network) it took me years of being in the world of low paid part time work to appreciate that actually what I did in those first 4 years was actually pretty good stuff and if I'd had more realistic expectations of the graduate world of work at the time my life would have been very different

LaurenPatrice: Oh yes, I am a big fan of quietrev.com! I am completely an introvert. I will definitely check out your post.

Notonaschoolnight: You're certainly not alone there, the world is full of graduates who think that they should be able to walk into a middle-management role with a company car the day after they graduate. I don't blame them, they have come to believe that such things are realistic.

We are taught to think about what job we want to have when we "grow up", which steers us towards believing that life is little more than the pursuit of a chosen job title and the series of tasks it takes to get there. It's not until much later that most people can look to see that life is actually a collection of experiences (both self-selected and put upon us) that shape and steer us. Notonaschoolnight, I imagine that you would have gotten to that point more abruptly because of your family situation, but the lesson is the same. Our self-assessment causes anxiety, but at a young age we aren't really aware of how much our life experiences are already impacting our ability to be objective and realistic.

Your experiences really ought to be shared with senior students who need to be reminded that life is not the pursuit of an end goal, it's more about learning to be adaptable and persistent.

Hello Notonaschoolnight :-) Thanks so much for replying...this information is golden!

I think you can see your situation one of two ways:

1. Either you are right and you gave up on yourself and now you are facing the consequences or

1. You didn't give up on yourself you just wanted more for yourself.

When are in situations that leave us feeling unfulfilled it is very easy to look at what we once had and regret not making more of them. There are several times in my life that I could, and have, looked back on and thought 'you know, you could have appreciated that more'. But I didn't.

The trick, I believe, is to learn that lesson and see our present situations through the same spectacles as the ones we use to see our past experiences.

Now, I have worked with children with disabilities, only for 6 months, and it wore me out. I also saw the strain it placed on the parents...but I want to ask you...have you given up on yourself still?

Risking sounding naive because I don't know your situation...but could it be that you didn't find what you were looking for back then but you could find it now?

I agree with digitaldoughmad...you should share your experiences...do you have a blog or thought of starting one?

Lauren :-)