Love the job but longer hours than I had originally planned, please make me feel better

[madmarchhare]

Job is 30 hours a week and it means DS(3) in nursery for longer than I had planned, and feeling a bit guilty.

Maybe ask yourself would a man feel guilty for working 30 hours? My DD was in nursery 50 hrs a week and she is happy healthy child.

My DS is in nursery 50 hours a week. We have no choice - need my salary. But tbh he has come on in leaps & bounds since he started there - he loves it. Motherhood is one long list of things to feel guilty about and there's always someone ready to judge you - and to offer their judgement as if they were entitled to tell you what to do. But nobody else knows what's right for your DS. And if you love your job, that's a bonus! (I love mine too, thank god, since I'm here all the flippin' time!)

Thanks for your replies.

I havent actually started the job, I am (hopefully) waiting for an offer, but am stuggling with wether to say yes or no.

The man thing isnt really an issue because DH earns more than me and its what we agreed. Its me thats going back on my part of the bargain iyswim.

I know I should be grateful that I dont have to but being with DS is important too.

I just dont know what to do...

How many hours were you originally planning to do?

I think we sometimes draw ourselves "lines" that we don't want to cross, but they may be somewhat arbitrary.

When I first went back to work I did 3 days and thuoght I wasn't prepared to do more. Soon became clear it wasn't really enough to do the job properly and had to go up to 4 days- this really upset me and I felt v guilty about it at first. Now I'm still doing 4 days and it is working very well for both me and DD- but the thought of doing 5 days provokes the same feelings of horror that 4 days once did! On the other hand, for some of my SAHM friends, the thought of doing one day is unbearable. Am I explaining myself properly- provided your child is happy in your chosen daycare, I think the guilt thing is all a matter of mental adjustment.

I would take the job if you want it, see how it goes. No choice is irreversible.

I didnt want to do more than 25 initially and hoped that I would be able to do them over 3/4 days, but there just isnt anything out there to fit that.

I know it doesnt seem that much more but it does go over into another session and means more childcare costs too, so DH has got me on boths counts there.

Serious chat coming me thinks.