Returning to work and flexible working request denied

[MilkyChops]

I work for the NHS and have done for 7 years. I was a full time shift worker prior to maternity leave commencing. As the end of my maternity leave approached I applied within the flexible working policy to work set days on my return. I also requested to use my accrued annual leave to work part time for a period of time.

My partner also is a full time shift worker for the NHS. We have no family nearby and childcare is managed only between ourselves. I have secured a nursery place for LO but it closes at 6pm, I cannot find a child minder who will work on until 19.45pm when we finish work. For the one nursery day a week a friend will travel 10 miles to pick LO and take him home to put him to bed for us.

The trust have denied my application for set days and will not allow me to use my annual leave to work part time for a period. We work both day and night shifts and if there is an overlap in shifts we have no one to look after LO for the overlaps.

If I were to work set days it would mean my partner could use his requests to work opposite, doing both days and nights as the ward requires but they won't so now we're stuck. In the mean time I also have a prolapsed spinal disc and the GP doesn't think I'm actually going to be able to return to work in 2 weeks and awaiting ref. to orthopaedics.

I'm at a total loss as of what to do.

-I can't stay in my current job as I can't meet my LOs childcare needs.
-I can't just join an agency if I may be unfit to work as we can't survive on OHs crap wage.
-There are no clinic jobs out at present with normal working day hours but if I am unwell then my sickness record may prevent me from getting another job.

I am stressed to the max and it is affecting our family time now as we are bickering all the time over stupid things because we are both stressed. Sorry for the long winded post just need to vent.

hibernates for the winter

After 20 years in the NHS as a nurse I too was denied flexible working ( set days was all I wanted too so I wouldn't be paying for nursery on unnecessary days). Also no family help. Told no. So I quit, and found a job in general practice where the hours are set and much more manageable.
No advice I'm afraid, but I don't think in the long term it would be fair or feasible anyway to ask a friend to travel 10 miles on a weekly basis and sort out your DC. What if she's unwell, has car trouble, wants to go away for 3 weeks etc etc.

Can your DH submit a flexible working request?

Could you survive on either of your salaries on their own (perhaps supplemented with agency / local fixed work when you can find it)?

Have you looked in to a nanny or do you have a spare room for an au pair? That could possibly help with the timings and different shifts possibly.

I really sympathise, it must be so hard to do shift work with an employer who isn't helpful.

I know, I think it will only be for 4 weeks whilst I work my notice to be honest. I'm so grateful of her doing it for us as otherwise we would be completely stuffed. I wouldn't want her to have to do it long term as she is entitled to her own life and should be able to do what she wants before she has her own kiddies to worry about.

He could, but somehow I only get 6 requests a month which isn't enough to request to then work opposite shifts to him, where as he gets 12 somehow. I've tried challenging why we only get 6 requests where as that unit get 12 and it was like it was brushed under the carpet

We haven't got a spare room no and a nanny would work out as £120 a shift and to be frank I may as well not bother going to work for the day as my shift only pays £108!

I know ultimately I need to resign and find a more suitable job but not knowing what the orthopaedic dr may say about my back puts me in a worrying position as I could end up on sick and jobless. OHs wage isn't enough to live on.

It's funny how you can bend over backwards to support your employer for years and work all the shit under the sun and then when you need an ounce of support they turn your back on you. No wonder we can't retain any staff. I really hope a clinic or practice job comes up soon

Suggest asking nursery if they can recommend after nursery contact for child

Suggest asking other local mums for local contacts

Perhaps another local mum can look after your child for the extra hours

ask the same question in the childminder, nanny section on here