going back to work and a sick child

[clewin]

My son has recently had a shunt put in as we found out 3 weeks ago that he has hydrocephalus, this was caused from strep b meningitis which he had when he was 11 days old. My dilema is that i was supposed to go back to work in 2 weeks but I really dont want to due to my ds being ill twice already during my mat leave. It has not been long since his op and i dont feel ready to leave him. Work are saying they wont pay me anything else if i dont go back when im due to and that i would have to claim sickness benefit. I need money coming in and I just dont know what to do i certainly do not want to go back to work just yet. Anyone else got a sick child and has to stay at home? What help is available please help me xx !!!

I have absolutely no idea as to the legal side of things, and it's a different situation to your own, but I mind a child with Down's Syndrome. He had some major surgery when he was very young. His mum also had to return to work (they were unhappy that she'd taken time off for the surgery in the first place!!) and he came to me only one week after surgery. He wasn't ill as such, and I was worried sick about managing, but it was actually fine.

Who would normally be looking after your child when you're at work?

Is your Doctor nice? If so go and see him. My Husband got signed off for 3 months when my Little Girl had Meningitis

I wouldn't have been able to cope at home ( 9 month old twins!!)

Doc put it down as Mental stress which he didn't have but needed to be at home with me and the girls

Could you not ask your Doctor and tell him you feel you should be at home with your son a little longer but work are giving you a hard time

Maybe Tell him you are not sleeping too well? or finding things a bit hard at the moment etc and really feel you couldn't cope with work when your little one has been so ill

I had to go back when my dd was still very poorly. Work extended my mat leave by a month unpaid and then insisted I go back or lose my job . I went back but really struggled and a few months later ended up being signed off with anxiety.

Legally you are entitled to time off unpaid - not sure how long - but if I was in that situation again I'd get signed off sick.

Is your ds going to have long term health problems following his meningitis - is it severe enough to think about claiming Disability Living Allowance in the future?

Hope you can work something out clewin and that your ds gets better very soon.

How terrible for you.
There's no reason it should be you rather than your other half if you have one, that risks losing their job so may be take it in turns or something like that.

If there is a domestic emergency you can have unpaid leave for the time it takes you to arrange emergency care like calling in a nanny agency or whatever.

sorry to hear your employers are so awful - I don't know about employment law but you must get advice - only problem is if you remind your employers of your rights having taken that advice they may make life difficult or you in the thousand little legal ways that an employer can and you sound like you don't need the aggro.

If you were to sign off sick for pnd (understandable in the circumstances) would you get sick pay?

Do get advice as there must be something you can do - good luck!

Hi Clewin

so sorry to hear your lo has been ill, I hope he is better now, and sorry to hear that your employers are being so heartless.

I would do what others have suggested and go to your doctor hopefully you will get signed off sick, I would also contact acas for advice (I always say that to anyone with any employment issues they are really excellent. the website address is www.acas.org.uk helpline number is 08457 47 47 47 they will be able to tell you what help is avaiable to you

good luck

Have you only taken 6 months? You can take a year off unpaid.

just an updat to all the people who left messages regarding my situation! I am now off sick, I didnt return to work as shortly after I left the last message on here my ds went back into hospital as his shunt blocked and he had to have a drain on the outside allowing all the csf fluid to drain into a bag, after a week he had a new shunt inserted and that seems to be doing well so far! No problems, touch wood! Work have now decided that they are going to pay me so thats good! although they do need regular meetings with me over this, which I find more upsetting as I have to go through all things to do with my ds and why i cant work etc! I am looking into claiming dla and hopefully that will allow me to take more time off with my ds - fingers crossed! Thankyou for all your messages! x