How to deal with a moody boss?

[Jemster]

My boss is often moody & negative, she seems genuinely miserable.
I've known her a long time & can tell from saying good morning to her what sort of mood she's in.
What's starting to get me down is her snappiness at me. I work hard & she knows she can rely on me but at times she will really snap & I go home feeling quite upset.
The thing that really bothers me is that she is not like this with the other 2 people in the team. They haven't been there all that long & my DP says it's because she knows she can be her true self with me but wouldn't be with them as they don't know each other so well.
Today was a snappy day & I believe she had a go at me unfairly about something. I don't like confrontation so just packed up my stuff & went home but felt really upset.
What's the best way to handle this? I'm pretty fed up with her taking her bad moods out just on me.

Could you meet it head on? Say, in a polite tone of voice, 'Please don't snap at me' or 'Please don't take your bad mood out on me'?

Thanks for replying. I wish I could but I would find this so hard to do. I am very laid back so she probably knows she can be like this to me and I won't say anything. The weird thing is sometimes she acts like a great friend & suggests doing things out of work together. She also often confides in me about personal matters.
Her moodiness can be so horrible that I am too scared to challenge her but then hate myself for letting her be like this just with me. The other 2 it seems can do no wrong.

Could you say it in a jokey way. One of my bosses is always moody. I just say "come on, what's the matter with you today? I understand how having a negative boss can get you down though. Have you asked the other 2 if they've noticed it?

She wouldn't like it if I made a joke of it, honestly it can be like treading on eggshells.
The other 2 I'm sure notice her irritability but she just wouldn't speak to them like she does to me.
I'm dreading work today as yesterday was just horrible. Thing is she might be bright & breezy, you just never know!

One minute she's treating you like her best mate and then snapping at you? She sounds like an emotionally abusive boss to me.

I think the only way to deal with it is to tackle it head on and tell her that her inconsistent behaviour is making you feel very stressed and you are worried it will affect your work.

Maybe arrange a meeting with her and give her some examples.

My view is that if you let something fester, it can grow into a much bigger issue.

Sometimes I have had to stand my ground and like you, I hate confrontation and have found it very difficult. However, it has always been for the best.

Being an emotional punchbag for your boss is not acceptable and remember, at the end of the day, people can only treat you how you allow them to treat you.

You say the other two can do no wrong but maybe she knows that the other two just wouldn't tolerate what you are currently accepting.

xx

My boss is like this too. It's very hard. I try to let the snapping go over my head as much as possible and then bring up the issues in my one to one and tell him I thought he was being unfair.

He does seem to be getting better.

My boss is exactly the same and I get so upset by it some days. I have tried talking to her but nothing changes. It has gotten worse in the past while and I do think it's because she is more comfortable with me (she does confide/over share too) but it is not an acceptable way to behave. For a long time I thought it was my own fault as I was enabling the behaviour by not pulling her up on it however I now understand it is not my fault, she is a negative person and I am trying to distance myself as much as possible. By this I mean I try and keep small chat to a minimum, never ask re weekend/anything personal and answer without engaging for long. I hope things do improve for you.

I had a boss like this: we were a really small team and it caused the breakdown of the company. We subsequently found out he had bi-polar disorder but still no excuse for treating staff like that! He regularly had me and the finance girl in tears and one memorable day he got in a mood when only myself and him were in the office and started throwing computer monitors around! I was glad when DP suggested I give up work to look after the dc's and have another baby :-) do you have an hr dept? I found ACAS very supportive and they went through mediation options etc when he was at his worst. We also made sure that no-one was ever alone with him; it was very much us and him but the day all 3 of us handed in our resignations together was priceless! It's horrible when you dread work :-(