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Original poster

If you suggested a tiny little change at work that didn't affect anyone's work but your own would...

16 replies

Chandra · 27/10/2006 20:48

you expect to be rebuffed in front of your colleagues by your boss, with a very agressive voice, including a bit of yelling while not being allowed to finish explaining your point?

Well it happened to me yesterday and I have started to wonder if I just should shut up, said "Bahh" as a good sheep and continue doing the thing in the same way even when 5 minutes of my boss't time will make the life of a good group of people much easier.

Now, the suggestion that originated this is so insignificant (just as to say "instead of putting your glass on that table could you please put it over that other one in the corner")that I can not begin to understand why is everybody so annoyed with me....

sigh...

.... and obviously, I'm here because I feel cr*p, I felt humilliated at being yelled at in front of the other staff and have no one else in RL that I can talk to about this.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 27/10/2006 21:07

Being yelled at like that is unprofessional and uncalled for.

Frizombie · 27/10/2006 21:09

Totally agree with you there Soupey, can you go to HR about the yelling?? even if boss is having a bad day, you don't take it out on staff.....

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/10/2006 21:17

It is very unprofessional.

There is never ever any excuse to behave like that in the workplace. Period.

Original poster

Chandra · 27/10/2006 21:32

What I found more offensive was that she made reference to my previous past experience saying "that may have work in other places but this is the and thing here are totally different to other places.

sigh... she was talking rubish, such stupid things happen everywhere not only on that place.

On top of that, there is a girl at work who find it funny to make comments about me and my work, and had her comming straight away telling me "you can not expect a manager to help you with something, if you ask for help that only means you have failed her!"

If she this girl was not the indiscrete cow she is I would have given her a good lesson about what a manager is, and what a manager can expect or not from her staff. (I have been a manager in the past, and I would not dream of doing that to one of the team)

OP posts:

PumpkinMilkshake · 27/10/2006 21:48

Can only suggest you put your point in writing and expalin the benfits so your manager can read inwardly digest and discuss with you and only you.

Going to HR is an idea, but if they are crap or outsourced don't expect much joy. Am in similar postion that my dept comes under HR and any 'anti-my boss' chat would get straight back to him. We only have 6 in the team so pretty easy to identify individulas too.

Just going to sympathise with you - 'dont let the b***ds get you down' - always a good motto!

Original poster

Chandra · 27/10/2006 22:02

She sent a general letter appologising for being that aggressive, but pointing out that she knew better and shouldn't be contradicted. I replied to her explaining that I was new on the post and there was no way for me to know whether what I had suggested had been tried in the past. In a way that was amicable enough but... the problem is that being told off in public has left a door open for the rest of the staff to tell me off (undeservedly) in the same manner, I had another person being harsh to me this morning and I'm feeling quite bad about it.

OP posts:

PumpkinMilkshake · 27/10/2006 22:29

I would speak to your manager about what her actions have led to and see if she can discreetly put an end to the others behaviour. If she is your manager then attitude can be understood to a degree. But if others are peers in terms of level and only out rank you by service they have no right to bully you, which is what they are doing. Speak to HR or your union if it continues.

Original poster

Chandra · 27/10/2006 23:05

I think I will if things continue like this next week, although to be honest I'm feeling like packing up the job. I'm overqualified for it but thought it was a good idea to take it because it was part time and would allow for taking care of DS's needs while allowing me a bit of adult conversation during the week.

Problem is, it's not challenging enough and someway I don't find it easy to cope with the arrogance of some people who think that just because you are doing secretarial work you deserve to be treated with the same kindness and consideration you owe to your photocopier. The money is definitively not good and I was there because the people was nice but... now that has changed... it has made me put the things in perspective and ask myself what on Earth I'm doing with my life, I should be taking myself more seriously and trying to find a job where I could put in practice the skills I have aquired in all those years of professional practice and postgraduate work.

Thanks for your posts, they are really helping

OP posts:

UCM · 28/10/2006 08:48

This happened to me ONCE by a very senior manager. I wrote to him and explained that I felt his actions were totally uncalled for in front of another member of staff and he apologised in writing. He tried to say he was joking....

PumpkinMilkshake · 28/10/2006 09:58

Chandra - personally I dont know how you havent wiped there noses with your qualificationa dn experiences? Perhaps you are a nicer person than me.

Your manager must know you are more than qualified for the post by your CV/interview etc. And after finding that out I am more than a little surprised she has still acted to you the way she has.

Why not tolerate the role while you look for something that allows you to meet your full potential. Treat as nothing more than a stop gap. (())

Original poster

Chandra · 29/10/2006 10:58

She told me she felt intimidated at my CV when I was interviewed (have more managerial experience and qualifications than her) which may indicate why she felt the strong need to establish that she knew best in front of the rest of the team.

I have started looking for another job, but it may take time... there's no much industry around this area so my hopes for working in a career related field are near to nil. I have begged DH to move away for 7 yrs and so far no joy

OP posts:

BlackMagicMiaou · 29/10/2006 11:08

Think that you've hit the nail on the head there chandra - she finds your range of experience and quals intimidating. Basically, she thinks you are after her job! Hence her total over-reaction to your suggestion. Childish, immature and unprofessional. But also, sadly, unlikely to change for the better.

What a shame. I wish I could think of something more constructive to say than "look for another job" but tbh I think that is the only way you are going to improve the situation! .

PumpkinMilkshake · 30/10/2006 09:38

You could always actually go after her job - just a suggestion - but would teach the rest of them a lesson if you got it.

Chin up!

CreepyCrawlyCarmenere · 30/10/2006 09:43

Ha I was just going to suggest that MilkShake. Well actually I was going to suggest you walk up to her and almost whisper in her ear that you are going to have her job soon. But then I'm evil and don't take kindly to being bullied by twits

Original poster

Chandra · 30/10/2006 12:29

Thank for your posts. Like the idea of getting a manager position again but cows will fly before that happens! I know what to do, but I have to rebuild my career and update my skils to earn some trust

Anyways, have been doing some research about other possible things to do... and as usual... I'm cornered but there may be a way:

Leave this job as it's not taking me anywhere and it looks totally out of place in my CV. (But I won't leave it until I find another thing to do)
Find another job, even as a trainee, but in place that takes me in the direction of the career change I have always wanted to do

Go back to University and be trained for that change.

Obviously there are pros and cons about the two options in number 2:

-First option, not many places to train, certainly none that could allow me to work in the hours DS is at school, or be in an area near to it.

Second option, plenty of flexibility and will suit my family current needs but I feel a bit old to go back to study, or actually I will be quite old by the time I finish and doubt that would be a good age to start a new career (39)

OP posts:

Starrmum · 31/10/2006 08:54

Sounds like a combination of two things - firstly, you're new (I think, from your posts) and are challenging the status quo which everyone else is happy with. Second, you are obviously a threat with the qualifications that you have. A secretary is supposed to know her place! And I speak from experience here as that's exactly where I started, as a graduate secretary. When I started to make what I thought were very sensible changes/suggestions it was not welcomed by any of the others, and they clearly thought I was too uppety!

I would suggest you keep your head down and play your own game until you know where you want to go/what you want to do.

Hope you feel better soon - workplace bullying is not a pleasant experience.

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