going back to work

[TracieSelley]

before I went on mat leave I was on secondment for 18 months, during the last year they got a full time person to replace me (I was part time) and now her contract has finished pending me going back in January. (for the record she was paid an enormous amount more than me even if you pro rata it - this is normal apparently for contract workers) The issue here is HR have said the secondment has ended and I would need to go back to my original full time sales role. This is hampered as the firm relocated 2 years ago (hence my secondment) as my husband was required to head up the new office with another. So now the office is fully staffed and they no longer need me in the seconded role. If I am to return full time I would need a nanny to pick my school child up and my yearling from nursery so additional cost. There has been unofficial talk about looking at financial incentive to help here. What do I do?

I think what you do depends on what you really want from work and life. What are you trying to achieve from your career and who do you want to become?

If you really want to work there and they can make it financially viable then go ahead.

But if, when you imagine what it will be like, you are filled with dread then perhaps you need to negotiate with them more or find something else?

I work 4 days a week, and get an expensive high speed train in because I really wanted to work in London but also wanted to spend time with DD in the evening and have longer with her at the weekend. My view was that if I am going to leave her then I have to be doing what I want to do and that is progressing my career as an engineer in London. So I negotiated my contract down to 4 days a week (but not a full 20% cut due to benefits package) and sacrificed the money I need for the high speed train (but made sure my boss knew how much it is costs me!). I am happy with my choice at the moment.

Thank you. Definitely boys come first. I am in process of applying for flexible hours - this is always declined. There isn't anyone female in the business who does my job after mat leave on a part time basis so I hold no expectation of it working out well. In addition I am just so upset that there appears to be no goodwill despite moving 300 miles at the company behest. Obviously we dont have any family support so it would cost a bomb to employ a nanny for after school care as the clubs are full at the moment. Rubbish. It may be a brilliant thing being forced to leave and another door will swing right open.....there have been moments of despair during this process as it is hard not to take is personally. I am really happy for you and hope it continues to work out. I think it helps if your doing something your passionate about. I work in finance (mortgages) so as you can imagine, it isn't all that exciting most days. I say most days.....

I am the first mum to work part time in my role (there aren't many female engineers), but fortunately with the upturn in the industry they need to hold on to good engineers and were willing to give it a go. It would have been hard to argue less than 4 days though.

If they hadn't allowed me to do this then I would have been looking for another job. I have been under excessive pressure before at work and my personal life suffered at the time. Since then I have tried to aim for what I really want as a whole rather than just go along with what I am supposed to do. Otherwise life just races on and you suddenly realise you are not happy!

I hope you manage to find your happy balance either with previous employers or new. They are not sensible if they let a good employee go for the sake of flexible working.