Team member blanking / ignoring me

[Idiotdh]

I rejoined a team recently that I was part of a few years ago. At that time I was friendly with and worked closely with a certain colleague.
For some reason now he doesn't even register me in the room, sits elsewhere during breaks and doesn't speak to me or include me in anything unless its absolutely necessary.
I just don't know why he is doing this...is he afraid of the competition? Does he dislike me? It's as if he wants me out of the team. It's not that we don't know each other very well...we do!

You have a (understandably) a problem with his behaviour and he wants you off the team. So what are you going to do? Personally I'd stay professional and do my work, he will soon make a complete idiot of himself.

So you yourself think he feels threatened by your rise up the ranks?

I think any of
Snubbed
Hurt he helped me I didnt stay in touch
Disapproves of something like my work or me being a feminist
Trying to prove to our boss he is better than me and be more job secure
Sees me as the enemy in the team., see above

Did your being a feminist bother him when you were on friendly terms previously?

He didnt know. I notice now, he is always talking to the bosses and filling them in. He is also a lot more bossy. He is very much self promoting and putting on a show.

Is he only more bossy to you or to others too?

Maybe he went on a leadership course and they told him his style was too informal?

I'm afraid you seem terribly vague for someone in a now senior position.

penfold

the"wanting her off the team" is just supposition, we don't know this.

Yy Boney.

Line runner
Not sure what you mean by that comment. I know all the details, it might not be wise to put too many details online so I am sticking to answering points raised. Also I am in the middle of night shifts so am sleeping/exhausted in the daytime. I am not at all vague irl. Also I am more senior, not senior per se.

What do you want to know?

Honest question

If you are equally senior or you are more senior, why is he the one that is handing out the roles and responsibilities?

OP, what I mean is, you say you have various possible answers in your mind, so surely if you are bright enough to be promoted to a senior position you can work out what the likely answer is.

And what Boney said ^^

Re seniority
I can see this is confusing the way I phrased it sorry

I am in a position of moderate seniority...I am not the boss, am about half way to the top of the ladder. I have now joined my colleague/ friend on his level whereas I used to be more junior than him...however he is still technically more senior than me as he has had several years at this level and is close to the top of the ladder (even though his job description is the same as mine) and I have only had a few. We stay at this job description for about seven years.

Realise that's also a bit crap but am totally exhausted.

Perhaps he just doesn't like you? Who knows? You could of course just ask or ignore but that would be far too easy and less dramatic.

As a senior person, you really should have a professional chat with him.

Well we were really friendly, in a work environment way. He is very reserved but we became quite close friends and did virtually all work things together. I don't know what the problem is ..as you say he perhaps doesn't like me...I suppose I feel a bit hurt and sidelined whereas I still like him and like working with him and am wondering why he is choosing others ahead of me and I am left on the sidelines asking what is going on.

I am happy to ask, but I know he will be uncomfortable and won't say anything in reply. I will ask him next week if there is any problem with my work. I was asking if it might be a bit unprofessional.

So from what I can gather.

He is running the team and is giving people who have been in the team longer more project than he is giving you.

Is this correct?

It would be perfectly professional to ask him why he us sidelining you.

If he says he isn't, give clear examples.

Boney
He is running the team in that he has been there for some years and has become the one who sorts a lot of things out. He is not giving projects to people who have been there longer than me, just other members of the team.the other members of the team are just there for a shorter period...four or six months for us all.

Line runner
Ill ask him. I think since I was last there, he has become the go- to person and boss of the more junior members of the team (but not the actual boss). Why he seems to be sidelining me is not clear . As I said he may not value me or may feel I am not performing as well as the other similar members at my level are, or he may have a grudge about losing touch a bit, or he may feel, since the bosses think very highly of me, that I am threatening his position.

He does have a responsibility to the company not to sideline anyone, but to utilise their skills appropriately.

So yes, do ask him. But like I said, have clear examples to hand. Don't just say it's a 'feeling'.

Just ask him.

id maybe approach it differently...

"hey bob, Im feeling a bit under utilised, and I wondered if you had a nice juicy project I can get my teeth into - or if I can help Sarah with the Whoopie project. Im loving being back with the team, but im just feeling a bit understimulated? Do you have anything coming through the pipeline that might be suitable? How can I help us to win xyz....."

Be cheerful and willing and in time you may regain his confidence.

Yes think that's a good approach... And my usual approach.
One thing I didn't mention was that he may feel he can't boss me about /delegate to me as I am now on the same job description as him.

And he may feel its ' not his job or place' to tell me what to do... It's up to me to use my own initiative. I can take the above approach with the bosses and find my fit into the team.
Thanks