Did you give up a career to be SAHM? (Should I carry on teaching?)

[noonar]

I have 2 dds aged 2 and 4. i've worked as a primary school teacher for 10 years (p/t since having the girls). i feel really resentful and stressed about the amount of out-of-hours work i need to put in. on good days, it's still rewarding, but on bad days, i feel like all i do is juggle the needs of 30 kids, instead of just the 2 that i have at home! i don't really need to work for financial reasons, and am starting to question my reasons for staying on. i think it has more to do with the 'status' and feeling of self worth that i get from have a vocational career, rather than really enjoying what i'm doing. i think i need do some kind of job, just to get me out of the house, but am starting to think that i'm clinging on to my teaching career for the wrong reasons.

anyone with a similar career dilemma out there? TIA for any advice.

Is it possible that you could just do supply work and so not have the out of hours stuff to do or do tutoring for the 11+ or something like that???

My stepmonster did it when the stepbrats came along so she could spend all of her time with them outside of working hours - HHMMMMM maybe thats why they turned out like they did?????

could you change to another teaching post with fewer hours? I know 2 teachers who just work one day a week. Or woudl that not help?

someone on MN ( cant remember who) changed to teaching in a prison and thought it was great! Or even an FE college?

I gave up my career when my first was over a year and two years later am still at home with two dds and some voluntary work!!! I don't regret it but I know some SAHM who do, so it is something you need to think carefully about. The good thing about teaching (my dh is one) is that you can take a break and if you decide to return it is not that hard to get back in. Also, you need to consider whether you are ok about spending money earned by someone else, yes you are a family, but it can be hard form both sides to get used to this one! For me, it was fine as dh is very laid back about money and I am guilt free kinda person when it comes to using his money!!!!

Good luck!

thanks twinkle, but i'd find supplying stressful. lots of behaviour management, but no support from being part of a 'team'.

my ds is SN in a MS school.

his TA this year is a qualified teacher who dropped down to be a LSA so that she could still be working and get the rewards of teachoing without the extra stress that involved.

maybe you could do that?

T2BGood - I'm on maternity leave just now (so no incoem) and I dont think of my Dh's salary as "his money". If I didnt watch the kids he woudl have to pay a nanny/housekeper/chaffeur to do what i do. I earn my ( very small) wages!!!!

( sorry for thread hijack, just coulndt let that one go )

trying to be good, i'm not good with change and really do worry about regretting my decision.

Kristina, the thing is, i only do 2 days anyway, so couldnt really cut down! the hours are part of the problem, as i have a disproportionate amount of planning/meetings etc in relation to pay.
think it'd have to be a totally different jos, tbh. ie not class teaching.

job, not jos!

I gave up teaching full time when DD was born (she will be 6 in Feb) and did supply at the school I'd taught in, so still felt like part of a team as I knew everyone so well. Is there a chance you could do that?

When DS was born (just turned 3) I gave up completely. I haven't regretted it at all. I love being at home with the children, though occasionally I do miss actually having adults to talk to.

thanks, folks. i'm not sure that i'm cut out for supply. although i have good discipline i'd be a bit nervous about going to new schools all the time,tbh.
maybe i'm too quick to dismiss the idea, though, as i'm sure i'd get used to it. it's the pressure of reports, meetings, planning etc that push me over the edge sometimes, so can see the advantage.

what tips about working in nice schools??? am intrigued.

jones, maybe i shouldve given up when dd2 came along. now that she is 2 and dd1 is at school, i feel that i've done the hardest part and would be silly to give up now.

i'd have thought state sch teaching career is more flexible than most, surely? Don't see why you cdn't take few yrs out and/or do supply teaching? You cd then go back when your kids are both at sch and you feel ready.

it is pretty flexible, but things change so fast and it's easy to feel 'deskilled'...eg i came back from maternity leave after dd2 to find interactive whiteboards instead of blackboards everywhere!

it's more about my personality i suppose, than the career itself. i just worry about making changes and regretting them.

It was me who went into prison ed, and yes it is great. I no longer teach (although did originally at the prison) but still on a teaching contract. I get paid almost the same the hours are far more flexible and I get 12 weeks holiday when I want them. I also have NO work to do at home!

Finding it so much more flexible that school teaching. I was able to be there for DD's first day of school, and I will be able to go to her assemblies, etc. too.

My friend is a primary teacher and has been doing supply work for the past 3-4 years. She seems to get plenty of work and enjoys the fact she has mucch less out of hours work, and she can be flexible with her work days.

thanks malory. sounds like a good strategy!

yes i agree about the childcare, but i'm v.v.lucky as dh is self employed, and mum and mil are local and are able to pick up dds for me.

( small hijack here - mallory your new name is GROSSS. please change it NOW )

noonar - job share can be pants. I did it for years and had the same problme as you. i meant doing something totally different. One friend has becoem a "specialist" drama teacher in her old school one day a week.

Hulababy - what do you do now at the prison [nosey emoticon]

I do sometimes wonder if full time is easier. P./T you end up trying to do everything, get less pay and status and usually at home your career isn't regarded as important as your husband's...worst of all worlds, Usually part time workers do more at home than their partners too. I never really see why it's attractive. It usually blocks most promotions too. I certainly wouldn't have ever liked to have given up work completely but it's a very personal decision.

Noonar, I am in similar situation - have DS (2) and another on the way and am currently teaching in a 6th form (part time.) My own experience has been very negative as I have had many problems arranging days of work with childcare and frankly the college have been very unhelpful. Like you, I am beginning to ask is it all worth it - especially with another on the way. A friend of mine had similar problems with an unhelpful head teacher after returning to primary teaching after DS2 - however, she moved schools where she has had a very good experience - she covers for other primary school teachers when they have their half day lesson prep (excuse ignorance as not in primary!) and works 2 days. This way she keeps her hand in but has no prep and paperwork - she loves teaching again now. Malory's idea re supply sounds an excellent one and is probably what I will do if I return to taching after DS2. From what I can see the success of work depends where you work and the attitude of management towards working mums - at least if you do not have to work financially you have a choice and can always return after a career break. Good luck.

I gave up a well paid job last year - not teaching - but mainly for the reasons which you have stated.

I can recognise a lot of my former self in what you have said - my only regret is that I was not able to do it financially when my kids were younger. I feel that I missed out on a lot paricularly school holidays when I was working.
Can you not take a "career break" or sabatical?
It doesnt have to be forever if you decide to quit.