Did you give up a career to be SAHM? (Should I carry on teaching?)

[noonar]

I have 2 dds aged 2 and 4. i've worked as a primary school teacher for 10 years (p/t since having the girls). i feel really resentful and stressed about the amount of out-of-hours work i need to put in. on good days, it's still rewarding, but on bad days, i feel like all i do is juggle the needs of 30 kids, instead of just the 2 that i have at home! i don't really need to work for financial reasons, and am starting to question my reasons for staying on. i think it has more to do with the 'status' and feeling of self worth that i get from have a vocational career, rather than really enjoying what i'm doing. i think i need do some kind of job, just to get me out of the house, but am starting to think that i'm clinging on to my teaching career for the wrong reasons.

anyone with a similar career dilemma out there? TIA for any advice.

my dd1 is in rec now, and dd2 is 2. can't imagine being full time!

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pruni, you are so right. i must stop comparing myself to others. my closest friend put her ds 1 and 2 in nursery at a few months old, which i could never have done. i have my mum, so am lucky. i know that not everyone has that luxury, but you are right that some people make compromises to maintain their career, that others wouldn't make.

i do worry that i might be a bit disorientated without my job, but there are other options, aren't there?

pruni, you are so right. i must stop comparing myself to others. my closest friend put her ds 1 and 2 in nursery at a few months old, which i could never have done. i have my mum, so am lucky. i know that not everyone has that luxury, but you are right that some people make compromises to maintain their career, that others wouldn't make.

i do worry that i might be a bit disorientated without my job, but there are other options, aren't there?

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I'm sorry I've not read all the posts but skim read some of it. Was doing teacher training when fell pregnant with DD. HAd to give up half way thro as so ill. Am now SAHM and although it's hard i think it's worth it. Maybe I'm influenced that my mum was a SAHM until my dad died and she had to work. I want to enjoy my time with dd and know I can go back in the future but I'll never get this time again. I refute those who think this is the easy option! Neither is easy. You have to do what's best for you and your child(ren)

Influence of mothers is interesting. Mine taught for 13 years and stopped when I was born. She felt kind of aimless when we were about 8 - 10 and older, used to listen to my father describing his interesting working morning and then add - and I did 3 loads of washing.... she was not probably right to have stayed at home and we have all worked. Will be interesting to see if my daughters (and indeed sons) choose to be full time stay at home parents, whether it skips generations etc.

The teacher I know who works full time her husbanddoes as much of the collecting of their children as she does and now the youngest is out of a day nursery and into full time school I think they use before and after school club so they can do a full teaching day - they both work full time as teachers. Part time can end up as full time and I am not sure it's best for most mothers and families.

Ex primary teacher here - made the decision not to return to teaching as I didn't feel it was compatible with having a young family. I found it was a job that completely took my life over. Ok, there are school holidays, but during term time I found I was eating, sleeping and breathing teaching. Nothing and no-one else could get much of a look in, certainly not family. Working in the evenings, every weekend. I ended up deeply resenting it.

Dh and I just cleared out our loft at the weekend - nearly all the boxes were filled with my "life" when I was teaching. The volume of work was staggering. I actually sat on a box and wept tears of relief that I wasn't facing going back to it.

I am returning to work, but having a complete career change (just gone back to uni to retrain). I'll be in a job with the standard amount of holidays, so dh and I will have to do the childcare juggling act during school holidays, but I know I will be able have some sort of sensible work/life balance, which personally I found impossible when teaching.

puff, i hope i'll be feeling that sense of relief sometime soon! i am starting to fantasise about a mindless job in a children's shoe shop, that i was offered whilst on maternity leave!

I gave up teaching a year ago. Like you I had been teaching for 10 years. I got so bored with it. The prescriptive nature of the Numeracy strategy and literacy hour was like Groundhog Day, the endless sheets of A3 that had to be filled in etc etc. I don't regret giving up at all. I am now (says very proudly) an ebay trader and I love it. I can work when I want without the worry of childcare hassles. Although I don't make anywhere near the amount I used to as I did teaching its worth it in terms of happiness.

lol noonar!

It might be good to step back and take a break from the job. If you decided later that you wanted to go back into teaching, then the TTA offers courses for returning teachers to update their skills - last time I looked they were about 12 weeks long.

I gave up teaching a year ago when ds was born. LOVE being home with him and am so glad I was able to do this. However it was very important that we had plenty of things to do outside our home - we go to a playgroup. set up a new mum's group, so a music class, go to the park several times a week & have friends round. I HAVE to be busy otherwise I begin to miss work.

Sadly, I have to go back to teaching in the new year (unless I can think of something esle - the idea of working in a prison has always appealed but I'm a primary teacher and don't know how easily that transfers to teaching adults). Wouldn't chose to do supply...