How do you cope with a poor sleeper and full time, full on work?

[LapsedTwentysomething]

Got a week and a half left before the onslaught starts. Today is a knackered day so we've barely got dressed and I'm mainlining coffee and sugary crap. I've gained a lot of weight like this since DCs. Not sustainable.

DH pulls his weight but at some point most nights DS will only settle for me. He is the wriggliest sleeper imaginable - think climbing across my head for a snooze.

Controlled crying will be difficult. He's gone into a single bed (age 1.9) because he sleeps marginally better in there overall. He doesn't self settle at the start of the night and I simply can't cope with staying awake to cc through the night.

As soon as we can get the money together we'll get another double bed so at least I might have more space.

DD (4) hasn't entirely cracked it yet either, even after starting school.

FT is necessary for financial reasons. Which it didn't have to be this way.

Have you tried a sleep trainer? I've read great thing about them on other sleep threads - not quite your question but is be tempted in your shoes.

What like a professional? I guess we could but we're waiting on some money coming in at the moment.

Im thinking that you have tried everything and now your just dealing with the fact you have bad sleepers.

To be honest, I'd be looking into getting a room sorted for lunchtime naps for you, can you get some degree of flexibility so work for longer but get a solid hours kip in the middle of the day?

Apart from that, its just replacing time off with sleeping in shifts with your DH.

Is there a way you could get a grandparent or relative to give you one night a week of sleep?

I've known people go through this, but neither managed a full time job and both had admin type roles, I've been cried on by both of them.

Nope. I'm a teacher so will end up spending lunchtimes dealing with students and prepping for next lesson. Shouldn't, but that's what happens.

Tbh we are being given two days a week childcare by GPs so can't ask more.

Oh dear. I'm going to be the one crying on a newcolleague's shoulder, aren't I?

Use your first pay cheque to go to a consultant if you can. I used Andrea grace who is £300 but ds1 went form waking every hour to sleeping all night. It's so so bad otherwise.

Teacher too...

I napped systematically at weekends and often when I got home from work I snoozed.

The rest is all a bit of a blur.

I went back when DS2 was 3 mths old, he started sleeping reasonably well at around age 2.

You CAN do it but I wouldn't plan any social events at all for weekends until the sleep is sorted, unfortunately we let a lot of friendships slip at that point in our lives.

If both children are sleeping badly maybe a sleep trainer would help, as others suggested.

I was still bf DS2 but nightweaned him when he was about 14mths old, also check for any underlying health problem before doing sleep training - DS2 had recurring ear infections which were "invisible" apart from night-waking - but the doctors could see the infection in his ears so they were "real" iyswim.

When he had his grommits done at around 14mths things improved gradually.

We have a double bed and a double bed with bunk on top. You sleep where you sleep when your tired and if its you and 90 kids its just the way it is. You get used to it pretty quickly. We also love energy drinks and you will be more motivated when you work.

I couldnty manage teaching on so little sleep. After no 2 I will have to rwturn pt or currently looking for less intense job. Grrr.

I think you will surprise yourself. I have been vegging out all day lots of lying around as only 3 hours work butI am not normally like this as if you have to do stuff and be places you will, honestly.You go in to this sort of state where you dont have time to think about it.

Hmm, thanks StripyBanana TBH I'm not even enthusiastic about teaching the way it's done now so I'm looking for an alternative constantly, but I live in a rural area where very low paid work is the norm, particularly for women.

Is Andrea Grace an advocate of gradual retreat type methods? If so it's something I could consider for the next summer holiday but I can't contemplate early hours sleep training during term time.

I'm perfectly happy to end up with them in a double bed but the real prob with ds is his wriggling. It usually results in a punch in the face or a kick in the stomach. He's head butted me in the nose too.

I hope so, melissa!

I do 40 hours in nursery management. Some weeks I have done 52 hours. I also have done a second job on top of that last year. If your with that many children you dont have time to feel tired as your on your feet and on the go.

I go crazy for weeks at a time and then have crash days like today. Im heavily pregnant with 3rd and have been doing up to 52 hours lately. I then have days like today and just chill more and then literally dont stand and then you get energy to go again.

Dd1 is a bad sleeper, firmly believe some kids just made that way, now nearly 4 and still more likely than dd2 to wake me up in the night (dd2 an angel at 6 months old).

Just do whatever maximizes sleep for your family. Over the years i have done 7pm bedtimes as soon as dd asleep, cosleeping, readybed on floor next to our bed, sofabed in dd1 room...

I agree with pp that you won't feel as bad as you fear, adrenaline will get you through a lot. Cc did work, but gruelling and only lasted until potty training gives the 'I need a wee' get out of jail free card, so wouldn't do again.

Our favourite strategy is the promise to come back and check on dd. So say goodnight, and promise to cone back to check in 5 min, 10 mins etc. Always go back as promised until you can go in and not say anything because they are asleep.

Red Bull and flapjack

That's a fair point about the adrenalin keeping you going, just as long as you have the opportunity to properly crash during the weekend.

I'd take every single shortcut going, ready meals, service wash all clothes, get an ironing service for work bits, cleaner booked in, home hairdresser.

Both colleagues broke at around the three month mark, so if you can do a sprint and go slow for term time and holidays its doable!

Dh and I have kept it going for nearly 7 years, and Im about to take a 2 week maternity and back on it (Its my second 2 week maternity). I have to say home stuff doesnt take us long though but we are minimalists, everything has a place and dont live in a massive property. Its took time to get this organised though.

Mattress on the ground beside our bed. Dc slept there.

If it's any hope, ds slept well comparatively after being shoe horned into full time nursery.

I know you think sleep training would be the worst idea ever but short term pain, long term gain applies. You're not getting much rest as it is either. Often once you've cracked bedtime the rest follows more easily.

We take turns with a long sleep in at the weekends with the occasional family nap if needed.