Ds is nearly 5 and in reception.
I've been a sahm since he was born. We wanted more children but have suffered secondary infertility. This year (well i mean since september when ds started school) we've had three unsuccessful rounds of Ivf and I delayed job hunting because of going through the Ivf. I needed quite a bit of time to get back and forth to the clinic etc and found it extremely stressful. I did not think starting a new job and then having to ask for time off at short notice with no explanation was a good idea so I've been volunteering four days a week instead to try and get myself some current experience and to do something rather than just let the year slide by having achieved nothing.
Prior to ds I was a teacher. I am volunteering two days in school and two days with a charity.
I'm really struggling to find a job. I applied for a job at the school I'm volunteering in but they didn't even interview me, they said I had been out of it for too long versus other applicants who had much more experience than me and current experience too.
I ideally only want to do three days a week as ds is still small, has a few health issues and also will be my only child bar a micacle so I want to spend as much time with him as I can, dh works very very long hours and ds barely sees him so if I do the same ds won't see either of us.
Dh has a good job and earns £90k+ but I'm aware it isn't fair for him to carry all the the financial pressure, although to be fair even if I find a part time job it would never pay enough to cover our mortgage and bills if dh did lose his job.
Dh says I've got until September and then he won't support me financially anymore. I'm so anxious and stressed, I feel useless. I can't have a baby, I can't give ds a sibling and I'm unemployable.
I'm starting to feel like there's simply no point carrying on.
What else can I do except keep applying and doing my voluntary stuff? How else can I make myself vaguely employable?