I don't want to go back to work!

[Hays1990]

Ever since I was very young my only ambition was to start a family.

I am not career orientated at all, I know a lot of successful women would struggle to understand this but I have never wanted anything more then to have a traditional lifestyle.

I am now pregnant, my partner works full time but we couldn't afford to live without a second In come. I don't feel like I can go back to work and leave my baby in a nursery 5 days a week.

Is there any help and support out there for women to stay at home? I intend on working once my children are at school.

Has anyone managed to do this?
I would really appreciate the advice.
Many thanks

No-I'm sure thousands of people would like to just not work but unless your partner earns a large wage, it just isn't feasible. Can you go part time?

You won't get benefits enabling you to not work, unless your DH earns a very low wage though.

I felt the same as you. Always wanted to be a mum etc. went back 3 days per week when my dd1 was 11 months old. Worked out that I didn't really lose much pay by cutting down my days as am paying a lot less tax these days. We're a relatively low income couple but only qualify for £50 tax credits per month so that doesn't really help us in any way

If you have one child and your household income is less than £26k you may be able to get child tax credits. Also child benefit. You can go to one of the benefit calculaters such as Turn2Us to see how much you might get.

How much does your partner earn? I gave up work after having DS despite us having always had 2 incomes previously and needing them to pay for our lifestyle.

I worked out that once we paid full-time nursery fees I was only working for a few hundred £'s a month, for me it made more sense to find ways to cut back rather than returning to a job I didn't actually want to be doing, and paying to leave my son every day!

I won't lie, it's been tough financially - we had to get rid of the car (DH doesn't drive, so was just mine), we don't have a lot of spare cash each month. The bills are paid though, and we get the occasional treat. It's not easy though, and I know full well that I'll struggle to get anything more than a crappy minimum wage job when I eventually go back to work!

That's the dream, I'm afraid. Not many people are lucky enough to do it.

Is "leaving your baby in nursery 5 days a week" the only option open to you both? Any family around who would be willing to help?

What do you do professionally? Can you work 3 v long days instead of 5 shorter ones?

Can you use your home to become a childminder? If you are pregnant now, you will need to crack on with qualifications etc.

As far as I can see as someone who works fulltime - there is NO help and support out there. Being a SAHP is considered to be a lifestyle choice by the present and previous governments. You are going to have to figure out all your options and what will work for you as a family.

If I or my DH want to quit work and become a SAHP, we need to relocate 100 miles outside London and one of us does a long commute and doesn't see our kids from Mon-Fri. That doesn't work for us so we both work FT instead with a 30 min commute each way. Somewhere there's a happy balance but we haven't found it yet.