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Original poster

Up all night - cancelled interview

27 replies

Willthisworknow · 06/11/2013 10:49

Was supposed to go for a job interview today but had hellish night with a teething baby so I cancelled. She was crying all night and I literally couldn't cope. Dh is a bit mad as I'd paid for a flight which as you can imagine I won't be able to claim back. They've said they'll reschedule (dh is on a biz trip).. Have my parents here so they've told me to go and rest but I cant sleep as feeling so guilty but I would not have been my best. Did I do the right thing or have I blown it? I'm not feeling 100% either so why do I feel so guilty???

OP posts:

yummumto3girls · 06/11/2013 12:06

It depends on what you said to the employer? Not the best impression to give. Was there no way you could have gone. Unfortunately the realities of being a parent and trying to work are a nightmare for reasons such as this, we've all been there! You obviously sound exhausted so get some rest and fingers crossed you'll get another opportunity.

handcream · 06/11/2013 13:29

Honestly - think you should have gone. What reason did you give for not attending if I could ask.

Original poster

Willthisworknow · 06/11/2013 16:38

Hi just that the kids were sick. I have 3 kids and both girls have colds which they also passed to me so I am not 100%. My husband is on a biz trip so he couldn't help out and my parents are also knackered! The interviewers changed my interview from last week to this week so its a lessons learned not to have an interview on the day my husband is away on business. But I hadn't realised when I'd confirmed!

I have an added complication that the head of dept of the place I was going to be interviewed at has been scouting staff from my current place of work. Another girl who I dislike has handed in her notice. So I REALLY hope she is not going to the place I plan to have this interview at! If they'll reschedule of course. She is senior to me and if she has got a job here, I could end up reporting to her. If that was the case, I rather stay where I am!

Anyway, am concerned about scheduling. I do 5 days in 4 but I have a few biz trips/training coming up so I hope the rescheduled date is not going to be an issue ( I only have enough annual leave days for Xmas).

Sorry this is long - but still feeling guilty.....

OP posts:

MaryShelley · 06/11/2013 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 06/11/2013 16:49

Do you really want the new job? It sounds like you already have a lot on your plate at the minute with 3 DCs. As an employer it does give a bad impression(sorry) so if you do reschedule, be very certain that you do want the job and will give a sterling interview, otherwise you will have lost the cost of two flights.

But agree, being up all night is hellish.

Picturesinthefirelight · 06/11/2013 16:56

Sorry but I'm interviewing at the moment over the next two weeks & unless I didn't have any other decent candidates someone who cancelled last minute like that I probably wouldn't bother to try & reschedule.

It won't have given a good impression unless you lied & said you were seriously ill yourself.

Original poster

Willthisworknow · 06/11/2013 17:01

Hi I guess I'll have to live with the decision I've made but its a good point you bring up the original. Was talking to my dad today and he says it sounds like I didn't really want to go. I went for another job ages ago because it was a promotion. It ended up being a nightmare place to work and got on an even keel at current place of work. We had redundancies which as unsettled everyone but they are starting to allow training and with the above director leaving, there may be a promotional opportunity there which would be more senior to the job I applied for.

I've had 2 telephone interviews at the job I was going for and the person I would report to was very candid and said they needed to build up,the group again as everyone was leaving (alarm bells) and that he needed someone to relieve him of travelling too much (more alarm bells with 3 kids 5 and under). Dh and I talked about it and I am the main breadwinner and he happy for me to have that demanding job - but I'm not sure I'm ready for it right now. I've also not been well recently with a flare up of ulcerative colitis and while I don't want to go into detail, stress does not help. So well see whether they are keen to reschedule but still feel guilty - not my usual way of doing things!

OP posts:

JohFlow · 06/11/2013 17:02

Sorry but I think you may have blown it OP. Even if you gave a startling interview later; you would be up against people that met the first round of interviews. The only real exception would be if they cherry-picked you individually for the post/if you were the only one really being considered.

I think you have to be honest with yourself as to whether you really want this job. Do you feel pressurised into it - when you would prefer to stay at home for now?

JohFlow · 06/11/2013 17:05

Sorry cross over in posts Will.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 06/11/2013 17:07

Gosh I'm already amazed that both you and your DH work f/t with 3 DCs, never mind that you have health issues as well.

It sounds like your current work offers you some decent benefits (doing 5 days in 4 is always good with young DCs).

Your DH may be happy in principal with you doing a lot more travelling, but in reality how is that going to work if he also has work trips? (NB I'm not saying that his job should take precedence over yours just that it is difficult to manage when both parents are travelling).

NatashaBee · 06/11/2013 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Willthisworknow · 06/11/2013 17:10

Tbh joflow - I think they are struggling to find folks and yes, my old head of dept does have a list of staff from my current place of work which he'd like to bring into this company he works for now. I know because I've spoken with colleagues and he has approached them also. The work I do id quite specialised and one of the interviewers was this former head of dept so he knows what I am capable of in the work environment. This interview I believe was to see if I'd get on with the person I would report to as I think there'd only me and him trying to build the group. They tried to call at lunchtime but my phone was on mute. Well see.

OP posts:

stickysausages · 06/11/2013 17:11

You did what you thought was right, but yes... I would say you've blown it. I wouldn't reschedule tbh. Sorry you had a rubbish night.

I'd still have gone though.

Original poster

Willthisworknow · 06/11/2013 17:15

In reality, my husband doesn't usually have biz trips - he has 2 part time jobs in academia but one jobs funding runs out in Mar next year unless he gets more funding so he may have to be more of a stay at home dad and work 3 days. He has been to London 3 times in the past few months ( and he's,away 3 nights) nut these have been voluntary trips. As I said, ,I should have looked at the calendar so we weren't away at the same time. But I think posting here makes me realise I can't take a job with loads of travelling for a little while yet. My youngest is only 15 months so I should maybe wait till she about 3.

OP posts:

HyvaPaiva · 06/11/2013 17:21

Wait, did you say that the interviewers already changed it from last week to today? And now you've cancelled they might reschedule again? OP, I'm sorry you're having a rough time, but that's rather a lot of upheaval for a potential employer. If you need so much reorganisation for an interview it doesn't bode well for daily working life. I hate being negative but I also think it was important that you go today. Hope things ease up for you soon.

Oblomov · 06/11/2013 17:53

I have to say, that I am totally astonished. By almost everything you have written.
Your parents were knackered. I mean purlease
Have you heard yourself?
I would not employ you. You sound like a total liability.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 06/11/2013 18:56

That's a bit harsh oblomov.

Onesleeptillwembley · 06/11/2013 19:10

I can see where Oblomov is coming from. OP even had her parents there to help.

Original poster

Willthisworknow · 06/11/2013 19:16

Thanks the original but I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion if I decide to expose myself on forums like this. Regardless Oblomov - I've been in constant employ for the past 17 years in a highly successful job so - I have to decide if going to another job is right for me and I've come to the conclusion it isn't. Yes the parents are here to help but as they are nearly 70, one has severe rheumatoid arthritis and the other has suffered heart attacks in the past - I have to consider what impact a sleepless night has on them as well as there are more important things than not turning up for an interview!

OP posts:

VisualCharades · 06/11/2013 21:05

SHIIIIIT oblomov is not wrong!!!! poor grandparents

WallyBantersJunkBox · 06/11/2013 21:19

I have had candidates pull out at short notice before and then reschedule. I would have fibbed and said it was me that was ill if I'd been in your shoes. I don't really discriminate against them unless I have a deadline to reach.

You've had two very successful rounds of interview and have been almost headhunted in. It doesn't sound completely gloomy to me.

On the other hand - you had to book a flight? Does this mean that the role is in another country, or part of the country op? All sounds very life changing.

I do a lot of travel in my role, and I am the main breadwinner. It sounds very glamorous but can be hell when you are missing out on bedtimes, school events, birthdays etc. I have only one DC and it's blood hard even with DH as a SAHD, I still try and fill all roles - manager, colleague, profiteer, homework helper, home baker, organiser and never seem to please everyone.

I can't even imagine how that will feel with 3 small DC's.

Sameoldsadsaga · 06/11/2013 21:30

It sounds to me as if you are not 100% about the new job deep down....maybe learn from this that you either schedule an interview and go, or don't schedule it at all.
Did I understand you correctly in that they were the ones who originally changed the date?
Don't worry OP. it sounds like they wanted you more than you wanted them.

Original poster

Willthisworknow · 06/11/2013 22:26

They changed the original date. Again I had a good conversation with the guy I would report into on the telephone interview. He had a family with small children and the travel was a problem for him so i take what everyone says with a pinch of salt. He needs someone. Else in the dept to stop him having to go away every week with work. I don't think the pic is gloomy but I DO FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT TURNING UP! This interview was to confirm if we could work together. They said they would have given me a contract if it wasn't such a senior post and that it was important to know if me and this guy would get along. But shit happens. All my kids tonight are unwell and they need their mum. It's not an excuse but the reality of me juggling full time work with small children is difficult.

OP posts:

Sameoldsadsaga · 06/11/2013 22:56

Don't feel guilty, it happens to all of us at some point. And you had good reason if your dc are ill.

Unexpected · 06/11/2013 23:37

It sounds as if would be a nightmare for you to do this job. What would you have done if you were in the role, your children were sick and you had been due to go on one of these business trips today which you are being recruited into the role for? There are too many variables in your planning as well - what happens if your dh gets another contract and is not able to be at home more often? What happens to relying on your parents for out-of-hours support (assume you have a nanny normally) if they are becoming more unwell?

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