Serious issue, money vs time with three tots

[barbsb]

Hi there I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place. Basically I'm self employed expecting my third bundle of joy in November. I have a 4 year old and a 17 month old.

I have to decide quite sharpish whether to go to work soon to a thirty hour week after the baby is born . This will involve leaving the two month old with a nanny and the other two in part time crèche and the nanny also.

Another option is to do a four day week about 16- 20 hours a week.

What I'm really asking is

For 2500 extra a month should I just put the head down , save cash work like a demon for a year and have no financial worries. Or should I just chip along on less hours with no surplus cash , focus on the three kids, and then when they are older things will be easier

We don't own our own house and in 2 years this would mean still renting verses buying a house if I work like a dog

I woke up this morning and I just thought, this has to stop I'm 34 weeks pregnant , exhausted. Is it really worth the money?

Is it really £2500 extra a month for an extra ten hours? Have you taken into account extra childcare costs, extra travel costs for getting to work etc?

I would usually say time over money, but £2500 is a lot, and 30 hours a week isn't too bad, you'd still get time with your children in the week (unless your commute is hideous).

Yes it would be 2500 for the extra 35- 40 hrs per month . Commute is half an hour each way. I guess I would love to know what two full time working parents with three kids do.

I tried to have this discussion with friends and it always comes down to """ooh how much do you make, cos for me it isn't worth it " . Which ends up being extremely awkward .

I've interviewed some nanny s and found the process disquieting , they didn't come across as people I would hire - at all!

Starting to get really worried I won't find someone I can trust

I think there is probably some element of relativity? What are you left with after bills in each senario?

If most of the £2,500 is 'spare' then saving for a house sounds like a sensible plan.

I am guessing working with 3 children will be tiring but having a nanny is probably the best way to manage that some will do child related chores.

If you are struggling re a nanny. Post on the Nanny thread you might get some ideas/feedback about what you offering/expecting?

I would do it. That's a lot of money you could save in a relatively short period of time. I did the same working long hours full time. My eldest dc is getting to 6 and I've not stopped. However, I'm thinking about taking sometime out a bit because I can afford to do so and my dcs just becoming lovely little inquisitive people.

The emotional cost can be high though. At dcs now at school age, I feel it warrants me being at home more to help with homework etc.

Not sure if I can offer any helpful advice, but I am sort of in the same boat. I am self-employed and employ a nanny. I found it really difficult when I first went self-employed to turn down extra work, as it was very well paid, especially if I did the admin in the evenings, so no extra childcare implication. Although, when I have taken on extra work the money has been lovely, I have found myself pretty tired and 'worn down' by the extra commitment.

Think carefully about whether you can physically and emotionally manage the extra. 30 hours per week isn't dreadful but it will be hard with 3 little ones. One solution we found was to employ a cleaner for 6 hours each week to keep on top of the laundry and the ironing, which really helps and means that I do not work or do any housework at all on one of my days off, so spend a whole day having fun with the children.

I have had to be very disciplined about the work I take on at the moment and it really hurts to turn work away (last week I turned down 3k for 5 days of interesting work) but it's nice to know it will probably be around when I do want to up the hours.

Hope it works out for you :)

If you are talking about £2,500 free cash flow, that is a sum worth considering.

thanks for all the feedback. I just wanted to ask , I have always had this thing in my head obsession with buying a house. but this is crunch time. we could rent for oblivion, or getting the nanny and doing the 30 hours would result in a deposit/loan approval in about 18 mths?

Agree the emotional toll is high, but at present we rent a fine house with pricey rent but i cant help but think the landlord could toss us out with 3 mths notice. I would find this extremely upsetting with three small bubbs

Am i being really materilistic or realistic ?

i spelt materialistic wrong there , i am aware, spelling bee people!

I would do the work - a 30 min commute is nothing! Then you will have a house in 18 months which would be fab (we are currently renting but are in the process of buying - I can't wait to get back to owning my own home again).

You can always drop hours later - in fact my plan is to try and do less hours when my DS is a teenager so I can be around after school and make sure they do homework etc before going out - I wish my Mum had done that for me!

The options are - on one hand you have £2500 + potentially own house + good job for the future & more pressure to run home & work. {But the good thing is that you don't (yet) have homework/schooling/education planning to worry about.}

The other option is - housework at home with kids + counting pennies + fear of no job opportunity in the future + delay in getting your home.

Yes, it will be emotionally soothing to be with the little ones, but wouldn't you rather use every minute (outside of your job) to do that anyways & give away all the house chores to maids/cleaners/nannies & save what you can from the £2500.

In the long run IMO this will prove to be a more balanced & practical path offering all of you more options in the future.

I would do it tbh. I've (now) got a 8, almost 7 and almost 3 year old and work ft 35 hours a week. I use a CM and negotiated wfh 3 days a week when I returned from ML after having my youngest. It's actually not that bad, just have to be pretty organised the night before with clothes laid out, bags packed etc. I've only recently relented and now have a cleaner for two hours week mainly to do kitchen and bathroom.

It's worked out better for me in the long run, moving up payscale/promotions and the flexible working arrangement I have (which a kind Mumsnetter helped me word) allows me to do a couple of school drop offs/pick ups each week.

I have 3 under 6 and work 30 hours a week. It's hard, but I can't work less than this (most they would give me for flexible working). I do have a cleaner and a brilliantly supportive DH. I do 2 very long days (9 hours) when I don't see the kids hardly and then 2 six hour days which allows me to collect them from school. Then I get Fridays off.

It's working for us and does leave us with a nice amount to save for emergencies. DH can pay the bills but I would feel very insecure with only one salary and there would literally be nothing after the bills paid.

Hope it works out for you :-)

For me the security of the house/money situation would win.

Wud there be the option to reduce hours etc when you got 18 months down the line? That wud be a big factor. Also factor in the relevant ages of kids at each stage. There are stages that are harder work/more time consuming/more fun etc