What time do you work?

[schroedingersdodo]

I have a 3yo and a 8mo. I did some freelance work after DS1 was born, but since DS2 I have been a SAHM.

Have just had an idea for a business and would like to start working on that, but have no idea WHEN will I be able to work! I don't even manage to do the housework!

DS2 is in that crawling and pulling himself up stage, demanding a lot of attention, and DS1 is clearly getting less attention than he needs (he asks me to play with him all the time, is very jealous of DS2 and has started peeing everywhere - I got so annoyed that put him on a pull up nappy today...).

In short, I'm not managing what I already have on my plate, how can I put some work on it?

On the other hand, I don't enjoy being a SAHM, get very snappy by the end of the day, miss the adult world a lot. I need some work. My statutory maternity pay will end next month and we need money!

DS1 goes to nursery two days a week and it's very expensive. My freelance jobs used to pay me less than the the cost of childcare. My business idea may bring enough money, but not before 6 months, I reckon (that's IF I can find time to work!).

I'm not very happy and DS1 is unhappy and feeling left out. Feel like I'm running around like a headless chicken. Need some help. (and hugs? Ok, people don't hug on MN, so can I have some hand holding or ? I'm a bit needy today and don't want to bother DH - he has enough to deal with at work)

Until they are in nursery/pre school/school forget it, it's totally impossible, unless you work at night when they asleep. You gotta suck up the boredom/missing adults until you can work with them out of the house or at night. So I am giving you a hug/slap because you can't have it all.

It pees me off when people say being a SAHM is boring, make it less boring then, work at it like any other job, make it interesting! I survived those early years by reading, watching good TV, going out and about with friends, doing an OU intro course, obviously there where some endless mind numbing days where each minute took an hour, but you get that when you work!!

Work on your business ideas in the evening, till its in a stage to launch to earn £, then see what happens.

OP sorry you are feeling fed up etc.

I think with 2 at home there really are only 2 answers; childcare or work at night.

I think trying to do anything else will cause you further resent as you won't actually be able to work/progress your business and the kids will struggle with the lack of attention too.

Can you afford some childcare and supplement with evenings etc?

Grants, I'm torn between thanking you for the slap and arguing that not all jobs suit all people. I try to make the SAHM thing less boring, believe me. It's hard to live only on DH's wage, and that's the biggest reason why I need to start earning some money. (anyway, thanks :) )

MrsMargo, the problem with working at night is that after the DC go to bed DH and I still have to do some chores (like hanging laundry, tidying up, paying bills, this sort of thing). I used to work at night when I was a freelance and it led to lots of resentment, because at 11pm I was working, tired and miserable, and DH was playing computer games. I know going that route will lead to problems.

Is there anything DH can do? I tell him he is the main stakeholder of my business - it's our business, after all, as he has to be on board. How can I share the burden with him?

PS: I'm looking at childcare options, but DS2 is too young for nursery and anyway, nursery for both would be incredibly expensive.

Can you join a local small business group? Our county definitely has those set up through business link. It will help you meet like minded people and just getting out and getting a chance to discuss business start ups will be good prep for you.

Also will your ds1 get his free 15 hrs at nursery in September? If so you could see if you can find a local childminder to take ds2 for a few mornings to coincide. HHowever use that time only for business development and not for household chores.

Your dh needs to see your business as helping your own state of mind and your family's opportunities. Get him enthusiastic about the business and value his opinion and make sure he knows that you are serious about it.good luck!

mewkins I've seen a couple of business groups in the area, but I can't take the DC to the meetings, so it doesn't make much sense to join them now. But I've booked a course at the British Library, which makes me feel as I'm doing something :)

Thanks for the encouragement, I will work on convincing DH that I'm serious (I think he thinks I'll give up midway, as I've done with other projects...)

Excellent! Well done for taking the first steps! I know here we have a local mums business support group which I think meets midweek and kids are welcome. It sounds a great idea but I suspect there are enough of them around. There must also be facebook groups out there, local and beyond, so it may be worth having a scout around. Being able to share ideas and advice in whatever form is really helpful.

Good luck with the course :-)

Tbh, if you really dont want to be a SAHM, I would put them both in nursery and go back to work FT. Then work on the business idea whilst working. I'm not kidding. You've more chance of finding the time to launch the business this way than with 2 pre-schoolers under foot. Assuming you work in a desk job. I reckon most people. if they were honest, spend an hour a day arsing around.

Hey, sorry for taking so long to respond, but since this forum is a slow one I decided to come back instead of ignoring your last comments...

mewkins are you in SE London, by any chance? I'd love to join a child friendly group. I did try to join a facebook group but never got a response. Time to look for others...

Richman even if I wanted to get a FT job, the pay would not be enough to pay for 2 children in FT nursery. And anyway, I don't want to work FT, I don't think it would be good for the DC - I just want a little bit of balance, instead of being a SAHM 24/7.

I concentrate on my business at 5.30am and then get dd up at 7.30am and then I get a bit more done when she's playing. Housework is done when she has a nap so roughly 2 hrs a day. It's mad and I work part time too but I just want more lol

Hiya, no in Herts but suspect there is quite a lot in terms of small businesses groups across london. X

Daisy, DS2 has been waking up at about 5:30 am :) But it's good to know how other women find time.

mewkins probably, I just have to find out.

schroed Fair point - I was being slightly tongue in cheek, my point being that you'd probably find more time to work on a sideline business in FT employment than you would as a SAHM. My DC are similar age to yours (3&1) and on the days I'm at home with them I can barely hear myself think, never mind get a business off the ground- today I was trying to do one small task for work and it took me hours and about 5 attempts. It seems the only way this can work is if your DH is prepared to shoulder all the household chores so that you can dedicate evenings to your business, and therefore the two of you would have to figure out between you if the incremental income is worth it (hard to say without knowing how much is at stake).