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Original poster

oh bum what have I done?

38 replies

liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:05

Sorry for the name change. I can't risk being outed.

I have cocked up dates big time and booked a family holiday when I'm suppoesed to be taking an important seminar at work. We have not had a family holiday for years (we're skint) and would lose all the money if we cancel at this stage.

If I fess up at work I would (rightly) never be forgiven for my total shambolic lack of organisation. Plus would be expected to cancel the holiday which would devastate the kids, dh and to an extent our marriage.

If I lie (invent a family emergency or funeral) I risk being discovered or suspected (what with the suntan an'all) but the seminar could be taken by someone else at a push.

Cancelling the seminar is not an option. It's an important part of a day that's been planned for ages, food, travel, venue etc etc

So what do I do..... help!!!

OP posts:
colditz · 17/05/2006 12:07

Invent a relative in a hot country who dies, it is vital you attend funeral, this person was as a father/mother to you. This will explain suntan.

Original poster
liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:08

we actually have relatives in hot countries so not too hard to spin this tale. So are you saying I should lie, Colditz??

OP posts:
compo · 17/05/2006 12:09

could you change holiday to another week or would you still lose money?

bluejelly · 17/05/2006 12:10

I would confess and face the music. Then work bloody hard to prove that you are in fact a fabulous employee and not totally disorganised!

oliveoil · 17/05/2006 12:12

Can you blame your dh for booking the holiday, go in with a big sigh and say 'I cannot believe it but' etc etc

Surely you can change for another week with your holiday company, what if your child was ill etc?

Original poster
liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:12

I've looked in to changing the holiday and it's too late (counted as cancellation at this stage so you lose all the money.)

I know you are right compo. That is what I should do. But if I do I would be expected not to go on the hol and it this stage frankly I would rather lose my job than the holiday.

OP posts:
Original poster
liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:13

meant blue jelly in last post

OP posts:
foundintranslation · 17/05/2006 12:14

Can you interrupt the holiday just for the seminar, i.e. fly back from holiday and then back out again? Or is this an impracticable suggestion?

Original poster
liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:14

like the idea about blaming dh! Blush

OP posts:
bluejelly · 17/05/2006 12:14

If you lied you wouldn't enjoy the holiday.
Also they can't sack you for not going to a seminar can they?

elliott · 17/05/2006 12:14

how much time do you have to sort it out? Personally, I wouldn't be able to lie about it. I'd try to change the holiday date, or failing that try and sort out a solution with someone else covering the seminar (ideally before you ahve to fess up to boss so that you are presenting a solution rather than a problem!)

foundintranslation · 17/05/2006 12:16

bluejelly, I think she's running the seminar, so not going would probably be a serious breach of duties.

Original poster
liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:16

foundintranslation - that's a possibility I hadn't thought of, hmmm

OP posts:
elliott · 17/05/2006 12:17

definitely blame dh.
Is it the kind of employer who thinks its ok for you to cancel holidays if you happen to have stuff on at work? If so you're possibly a bit stuffed. I can't understand that attitude myself.

katzg · 17/05/2006 12:18

are your children of school age? therefore this hols is in school hols arguement for going then and not another time

school will not grant hols inside term time - is this a possible excuse

Original poster
liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:22

yes, running the seminar with 2 weeks to sort it out.
The problem with finding an alterative person is that that would involve the whole confession. This is why it's so tempting to lie about an emergency. Then they could actually do it without me quite easily.

I'm not a good liar and usually my first reponse is to tell the truth but I want this holiday so much!

I've had no sleep since I realised what I've done so planning to lie would spoil the holiday. (but perhaps not as much as coming home early)

OP posts:
Original poster
liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:26

yes, the holiday is over half term so an alternative date is difficult.

the employer is not a meany who expects people not to take holidays but would rightly be extremely annoyed about my idiocy.

OP posts:
katzg · 17/05/2006 12:29

i think i would come clean and go with the DH booked a holiday for us and the children during half term (adding school very important line)it was a buy it now and get it for a reasonable price deal so he didn't have time to check dates and he assumed with it being half term that it would be ok. We've not been on holiday for years and the children are really excited.

i am more than happy to write the whole thing and X is happy to present the information,

maybe offer the possibility of a video conference link/mobile contact?

Marina · 17/05/2006 12:29

liarliar, big sympathies on this one, truly.

I have a similar dilemma in June and could not lie, tbh. I am perhaps "luckier" than you in that we are only going as far as Northern France, so I am coming back for the meeting in question via Eurostar. Not ideal but it means both a holiday for the family and my presence at a vital meeting.
I suspect from what you say about a suntan you are going further afield.
I am really sorry, but if I were in your position and lied it would haunt me forever at work and I would live in dread of being caught out. Not least because the colleague who would be expected to cover for me would find the whole experience a living hell :( I think the person with the most to lose and likely to be most suspicious is the person who will be doing your job on the day.
In fairness my workplace did NOT expect me to either cancel my holiday or come back, and no pressure was placed on me, but it was abundantly clear when I offered to, with good grace, that they were extremely grateful and it has given me brownie points galore.
It's up to you whether you feel you can lie or not, but I think you have to make your tale of a surprise treat sprung on you by your dh absolutely watertight. Agree with elliott about presenting the problem and the solution at the same time - I fessed up about my holiday and offered to come back in one fell swoop and it has so far distracted my boss from the fact that I had made all the arrangements before checking with her Wink
Best of luck

elliott · 17/05/2006 12:30

Its quite hard to think of an emergency that requires a whole week (or is it 2?) off work....think it would be hard to maintain.

If someone really can do it without too much hassle, then its really just down to brazening it out and remembering your priorities. Ok they might be a bit peed off but in the long run it really isn;t goign to be that important (not in the real world anyway)

LucyJones · 17/05/2006 12:31

I would confess to your misatke and plead with them to let you go. Lying about funerals etc bad karma imo

Wordsmith · 17/05/2006 12:32

If I were you I would fess up, and take the flak. The sooner you do it, the sooner someone else can take over. What's important to the company surely is that the seminar runs smoothly - and if there is someone else who could do it (with a lot of guidance from you)then what's the problem? Blame your DH or whatever, but IME if you can say "here's a problem - but don't worry here's the solution too" would not do you too much harm in the workplace...

...unless you work in one of those macho jacket-on-the-back-of-your-chair testosterone filled places where appearances count for more than actions?

Original poster
liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:34

great post Marina, thanks.

I think you've nearly convinced me to go with the blame dh/ suprise holiday story.

Dh may not be so happy about the idea though Wink

OP posts:
katzg · 17/05/2006 12:36

i think the surprise hol is better than making up a funeral

Original poster
liarliarpantsonfire · 17/05/2006 12:37

Elliot- wouldn't need to invent a week long emergency because I've already booked the week off. It's actually that the holiday comes back a day later than planned so it should have been my first day back IYSWIM

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