Struggling with feelings of worthlessness

[Metromummy]

Hi all, hoping that someone out there might have some hints or tips to pass on as feel like I'm going round and round in circles.
I left my last job as an in-house solicitor due to a chronic condition that needed more surgery and an uncertain amount of time in recuperation. A couple of months in I got pregnant (unexpectedly) with my DS (now 1). I'm absolutely desperate to get back to work but having been out of the game for two years now (and only 3 years qualified) when it all kicked off- I'm just not sure if this is possible. I have good academics, trained and qualified at a magic-circle firm and went in-house at a top FTSE 100 company. I'd like to shift to the public sector but not sure how to start. I wouldn't swap my LO for the world but just get so down at the idea of never getting back to a life outside the home. It feels very much like I'm missing a big chunk of me.

Sorry for the whinge!

Hi Metromummy! I felt for you feeling like that... I am a mum of two, 6 year-old boy and 10-month old baby. After going back to work in last November, I have to keep taking a day off or two almost every week. I do feel now useless or worthless at work. This is my problem even after going back to work. You seem to have a fab background as a solicitor. Why not just start searching the current market whether any companies are interested in part-time position or not. That could be an idea. Could you not ask the company you used to work? (unless you don't want to go back there!) I do believe that being 2 years away from the working environment is still doable! Wish you a good luck whatever the direction you are going for!

Hi Metromummy, I just read your thread and had to join mumsnet just to comment on it, I feel the same! I trained & worked as a commercial surveyor but didn't quite get Chartered before (unlike you) being made redundant. I worked whilst completing my degree & graduated just after my 1st son was born. I went on maternity leave then returned 3 days a week and after 6 months I was made redundant. I'd worked there for 8 years and found it really hard not to feel completely heartbroken & betrayed by my boss. At the time we decided to have another child, my 2nd son and focus on that. I haven't thought about going back to work sooner because of the expense of childcare and we don't have family to help, but my youngest turns 2 in April and my eldest starts school in September so I'm thinking it might be easier now.

I burst into tears this week whilst navigating my way through the piles of washing, I feel as though I've been in a 'baby-bubble' and life has passed me by. Anyway, I'm thinking if I don't do something now I'll never do it, so I'm beginning to think about returning to work. I've looked but can't find anything part-time, my husband says he can work more flexible hours so I can go back full-time if needs be. What I wanted to say is have faith in yourself, we're all capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for. I'm trying to ignore my negative thoughts saying that I can't do it and take it in stages, I contacted an agent and I'm beginning to rewrite my cv. Applying for a job is the next stage, then interviews next. I don't expect to earn anything close to what I used to, but just getting back to work will feel like a huge achievement in itself. Its so hard being a mum and trying to balance everything but keep focussed, you have brilliant qualifications, training and experience - we probably both just need a bit more confidence in ourselves, a lucky break and we'll do the rest. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Thank you, thank you and thank you both again for taking the time out of your days to reply and for making me feel less lonely with this. Its so hard to talk to my (all rather successful) girlfriends about it as I'm the first to have a baby.

Bumblechuck, you've just put into words exactly how I've been feeling for the last few months. I'm so glad that your husband is able to be supportive like that, I think it will do you all the good in the world to get back out there. You express yourself beautifully and clearly have good people skills. For what its worth, I think you'd be an asset to any employer - its just a matter of finding the right fit for you.

I dropped my LO off at nursery for the first time this morning. My parents are helping us out as they've seen how not working has affected my confidence. But you're right, childcare is crazy expensive and there seem to be so many different sticks to beat yourself with about what might be the best thing to do for your child.

I've sent my CV off on a speculative basis (from what I can gather, walking into a part-time job will be super-tough in this horrible climate) and contacted a few old friends in the industry for advice and possible networking. It feels good just to be doing something again.

Do let me know how you get on. My virtual cheerleading skills are top-notch!

It's never too late! You are only two years out which is a relatively short time.

Public sector is a good route to go. They are generally family friendly and offer lots of options such as flexi-working, part-time, job share, etc, etc.

Why don't you contact your local council? Tell them you are really interested in working for them and ask them how to go about things? I'm sure you will be able to find someone to help you. You sound like a very good candidate.

Do something (however small) every day towards finding yourself a job. It's amazing what comes up when you focus your attention.

Best of luck!

Had some interest in my cv! Pay is pittance but it just feels do good to have someone take notice! Bumble chuck, how's it going?