How do people afford to work

[peppajay]

I have been thinking of going back to work for some time but have come to the conclusion that it will not be worthwhile as will have to pay for childcare for 2 children during the holidays, even if I worked p/t and had to pay for say 2 or 3 days childcare a wk during the holidays for 2 children, plus after school we would just break even. I have no family locally to help out.

My family and DH do not agree with working mothers anyway so I am not pressurised to go back to work but I would like to do something for my own sanity. I don't want to do sales reps or work from home as I am looking to go back to work for more of a social side and not a money side as we can just about get by on my DH's salary. We don't have holidays, a nice car or go out often but we just about get by. I feel very isolated in the day as all my friends work but none of them have to pay for much childcare as they have grandparents and family to help them out.

I could work at weekends but this is precious family time and my hubby wouldnt be happy looking after the children.

Also the stress of keeping up with the housework, packing lunches up, keeping up with the washing how does it all get done?

I think my only option would be to work in a school but these jobs don't come up often.

So I just wondered how other people do it as I seem to be the only mother who doesn't work!!!

The ones who cannot manage work and children aer the ones who are deficient. Of course they cannot manage working and bringing up a family. They couldn't manage the proverbial p iss up in a brewery which is why they are only housewives.

As for the wife of the offshore worker how come he is the one off shore and not her? Also since when was qualified nursery nurse going to be a job that paid a decent wage. You become a surgeon if you want to be able to earn reasonable sums, not low grade nursery work.

I agree with Gay40.

A university aged lad who has his mum running round after him might be laughed out of the interview room.

Gay 40, how long would it take you to prep and plan a weeks resources for say 2hours a day for the ks2 curriculum. I don't see one morning as too excessive. I don't see that being there for your kids whatever their age is delaying development. I hardly see my eldest but we do get together monday mornings and various other times when he's about. He works 16 hours paid, 8 hours voluntary for placement, attends uni, plays hockey, has a girlfriend, social life with mates. Yeh I see your point, I never leave his side. DS2 is pretty similar but not quite as busy. Yes others do bring their children up and I know plenty of sahm who sit around all day. There is good and bad in all walks of life. Of course I am indulging myself I love doing things for my family, but I also have a life of my own. I meet dh for lunch sometimes, go to the gym, coffee with friends, thinking of doing PHD soon. May do some research into something child related. I still don't see where I have implied that working parents aren't raising children. Moreover, I think I made myself clear on numerous occasions it was my opinion that If I was working I would feel that I wasn't the one raising them as they would need extensive childcare dd obviously. Thats not to say that others share the same values as obviously we are all different

Some serious back pedalling there! You know darn well you tried to imply that working parents aren't raising their children. Load of balls obviously, but it still isn't a nice thing to do. Especially when the op started by saying she wants to work for her own sanity. She needs some support to show how how that's an entirely reasonable and normal thing to want to do.

Halfrom, who were you aiming this sentence at "I'm sorry but people who aren't interested in bringing their children up shouldn't have them"?

I can't believe that you are serving up 2 hours a day of KS2 curriculum to a child who attends school full time. Is that really what you do? In addition to all the activities you ferry your DD to? Isn't she exhausted?

This was aimed at people anybody male or female who as implied aren't interested in their children. Working, non working, single, married divorced,the OP husband not prepared to share child care, but I think even if people think it's wrong it's his opinion and his as well as her children . People who don't take an interest in their upbringing and feel it's somebody elses responsibility. I don't think I implied working mothers did this, just because they worked. My values I realise are not the same as many others as I enjoy looking after my family because I see it as my job, but I still stand by the fact that in addition to this it is not financially viable for me to work. I did give up a career to be sahm but I don't think others should neccessarily. She isn't exhausted and the work I give her is linked to where they are up to at school and I see her teacher most days informally outside school, as do many parents in her class. I'm not alone in this there is a thread on here about supporting childrens education at home and helping at school. My dh taught at a prestigious boarding school and openly cried on his return home one night. A 4 year old entering prep school tears streaming down his face. This was mid may not the start of september. I'm sorry if this offends but to me no amount of money or Career is worth this. I know this is the extreme but I think I'm probably the extreme in the other direction.

How very odd to start talking about Parents who aren't interested in their children in the context of a thread about working/ non working parents ....

The two things are completely unconnected.

You may be back pedalling madly now, but it's very clear that your comments earlier were trying to undermine those who don't do things exactly like you do

I don't think the OP was intending to send a 4 year old to boarding school in order to work. I really don't think that you have been terrifically helpful on this thread halfrom as the OP asked a clear question about how people afford childcare as she is interested in returning to work and is clear that there aren't a lot of other SAHM in her area.

Xenia, that was very rude, did you mean to sound so rude?

As for the low-grade nursery workers, they are the ones enabling people like you and me to go to work and I for one am very grateful!

Xenia, that was very rude, did you mean to sound so rude?

As for the low-grade nursery workers, they are the ones enabling people like you and me to go to work and I for one am very grateful!

Yep - the nursery workers, nannies, cleaners etc which are an absolute necessity to women with big careers.

Xenia, what do you think of the nannies you had for your children, do you see them as beneath you?

did you go through many?

You become a surgeon if you want to be able to earn reasonable sums, not low grade nursery work.

Thats me in my place then? .

Xenia spoke.

halfrom it's always emotional leaving home. I don't know there are boarding schools that take kids as young as 4. I went boarding at 6th form. It was very very tough at the start. But looking back I think it's brilliant. And if I can afford it, I would give my children the same experience. I certainly don't want to be the one prepping ks2 circulum to a non home ed kid. Or one that reads his uni aged son's CV despite being 20 years out of work. When is the last time you used your CV to successfully land a job?

I have a Masters level qual in Management, with a unit dedicated to HR (CMI Executive Diploma). As he is going for a position as a Junior Manager I think I may be qualified to help.
This boarding school certainly did take children this young, so a child at boarding school can do prep at my daughters age, but it's wrong for her. Why? Surely she deserves the same as them, I can't afford it neither but I'm glad I'm in a position to give the eqivalent and still have her at home. Just because you pay doesn't mean a child is naturally more bright.
My c.v is up to date and you don't have to be employed to gain work related skills. I have done many courses and qualifications during the past 20 years as I enjoy learning. I have made many contacts as well during this time and not afraid to use them to better my children's lives or prospects. I am presently looking for sponsorship helping with forms for fees if he wants to do a Masters. I know a friend who does these things for her dh how is this any different? Apart from my time as a teacher I never had an employer, my clients preffered photo's/ dvd/ cd or recommendations. So although I have done a c.v it's hardly relevant.

I don't enjoy being a SAHM. Lots of people seem born to do it. I am probably a bit jealous. I can't stand it. I have always worked part time, since having the children. And I love that. But I am currently jobless, and can't wait to find another part time accounts job. The kids drive me nuts if I am with them all the time. When I work part time and have 3 days away, 3 days with, the balance is perfect. For ME. Only refering to myself.
I totally get, how Op wants a job for the sanity aspect. I find halfrom's comments hard to swallow.

3 days away, 4 days with. Not doing my accounting proficiency as favours, with that mistake, was I?

Halfrom children at boarding school don't have 2 hours of individually prepared tuition after school each day. They have homework with the kind of support that parents might give (but spread between the number of children rather than the smaller number of children in a typical family. Your daughter must be very tolerant to have her mum set her extra school work. It would have really damaged my relationship with my mum if she had done that. My parents have always been available to read CVs and applications despite working full time. Obviously you should do what you want and suits your family but I think that it is worth acknowledging that much of what you provide for your family can be done by working parents and doesn't actually sound suitable for many others.

I do think halfrom is living in a very strange universe. I feel a bit sorry for your kids, actually.

I never asked my parents to read my CV despite them both being professionals. They are simply out of touch with what current employers look for in my chosen field of work. For example, my parents would never have approved of hobbies such as video games and MMORPG on CVs. My dad is very anti video games.

Why do you put hobbies on a CV?

My dd enjoys me working with her at home and I don't know which boarding schools you are familiar with but they do prep the same as my daughter does. I can't see the difference between preparing work for one or work for a class. If it wasn't working I would stop.
Regarding the statement I made I don't give a hoot whether certain individuals want to read their own meaning into what I said. If you are right and I meant malice I'm sure my working friends most who are mums would be able to see this attitude and would object, so I don't care really. Or do I secretly fill my hours in a group dedicated to sahm who discuss ways to annoy working mums.
Hey it could be worse my ds1 has managed to pay for his own fees for degree, driving lessons, car, insurance, all by working from age 16. So many parents pay for this themselves stopping them developing financial awareness, how bad is that. I'm happy mine can go out into the world with good job prospects, qualified, without any debt (no student loan).

I wouldn't encourage anyone to put hobbies on a CV either. I do get my parents or DH's parents to read my CV and DFIL has very relevant recent experience to draw on, but that is probably unusual. Mostly they are just good proof readers, just like when DH read a friend's CV and noticed that he had a full UK diving licence.

The boarding schools I have known used prep like homework with limited adult support. Not 2 hours of one to one individually prepared tuition. And 2 hours at KS 2 is a hell of a lot. Obviously it works for you but none of this is relevant to the original question of how people can afford to work.

breatheslowly. I do realise it's not relevant but wanted to answer posts directed at me. I think if you check the relevance of the OP went a while ago to others as well as myself, but totally see your point. I'm off to education posts now.