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Original poster

Have you found WOH harder since your children started school?

122 replies

bossykate · 06/01/2006 21:03

i have for a variety of reasons:

  • much harder to fit the school day/holidays when both parents work
  • childcare is hard to find
  • the needs of the school are at once more urgent and less negotiable
  • i don't want paid help doing ds's homework with him
  • appts to see the class teacher are at stupid non-negotiable times
  • harder to be involved with the life of the school if you work
  • children's needs become more complex as they get older - starting school is such an important life event for them

oh and probably a few other things i've forgotten to mention.

i'm just wondering

(1) how does everyone else feel?
(2) why does it appear to be the received wisdom that it is somehow easier to get a job/be employed after the children have gone to school?

OP posts:
lucysmum · 06/01/2006 22:18

exactly the point i came to bk. it took a miscarriage for me to realise - i had been planning another 6 months of mat leave and when that wasn't going to happen as soon as i hoped i realised what i really wanted was to be at home all the time. resigned more or less as soon as i went back to work after MC. had a lot of time to think about it (6 months notice period) but didn't regret it then or now. i am obviously very lucky that we can afford for me not to work at least for the medium term.

manicmama · 06/01/2006 22:18

I am totally with you BK - could you become a SAHM if you wanted to?

Original poster
bossykate · 06/01/2006 22:19

without boring you with all the details - no. and believe me i have considered every option that allows us to remain in this area - because of ds's school, lol! - and i don't see any way to either right now. however, i am working on a plan which might liberate me in the course of 2 - 3 yrs.

OP posts:
manicmama · 06/01/2006 22:20

I wish you luck with your plan!

puff · 06/01/2006 22:20

yes, good luck with your plan bk

Original poster
bossykate · 06/01/2006 22:21

remember baldrick in blackadder? "my lord, i have a cunning plan"?

thanks

OP posts:
Munchkinola · 06/01/2006 22:22

being a bit dim.... WOH=?

Original poster
bossykate · 06/01/2006 22:26

working outside the home

OP posts:
Munchkinola · 06/01/2006 22:27

ty

ZebraInCA · 06/01/2006 23:16

I was telling someone this yesterday, it gets much harder to hold down a job after they start school.

lindat1964 · 06/01/2006 23:32

absolutely!
Agree with most of the above, however I've just been made redundant and plan to try the work from home route with a party plan business - seems very possible.

This was my first week not working full-time with 1 at school and 1 at home and it was great!

babyheavenbabyhell · 07/01/2006 14:43

All this fills me with fear. As a single parent without family nearby I've managed to arrange to compress my hours in a demanding job to work 5 days in 4 allowing me a 3 day weekend with my 3 year old. Know idea how I'm going to manage when he's at school and there's not the continuity of care plus would like to change jobs as well - but at what point? Got a year to think about it but helpful to see not alone and that my anxieties are not unfounded!

Whizzz · 07/01/2006 14:48

Definately more difficult. I am trying to negotiate only working 4 days instead of 5 but its touch & go. I am on a temporary 4 day week at the mo - but they have not agreed it formally yet. DH works from home 2 days a week & at the moment, DS goes to after school club on 2 days. The summer hols will be a nightmare !! I wanted to join the PTA - but all their meetings are in the daytime when I'm working ! Grr

Tinker · 07/01/2006 15:03

Much harder, hence why I became term-time only. Only pay for after-school childminder for just over an hour per day.

JackieNo · 07/01/2006 15:08

Definitely harder for me. I know 2 people who've been at work full time with children in nurseries/with a childminder, and once the kids have started school, have decided to give up work and become SAHMs. Would like to myself, but mortgage too big, I think. I'm lucky that I've been able to reduce my hours, but even so, the holidays are a worry, with no relatives living near.

bambi06 · 07/01/2006 15:21

how does it work in other countries i wonder.uk is so behind the rest of the world me thinks..

Bink · 07/01/2006 17:01

On your question (2), I'm not sure it is current received wisdom - I have a dim recollection of people saying things like "they older they get the more they need you" but it was rather like trying to tell not-yet-parents about sleep deprivation - meaningless at best (& a bit tactless at worst).

It may have been received wisdom in our mothers' generation, on the assumption that when mothers worked they did so very part-time and in not very challenging jobs.

The other thing (for me) is that primary school aged children are so lovely and interesting next to babies and toddlers. I adore, and want, my time with mine now (6 and 5) in a way I just didn't when they were littler. (So my solution is working term-time only, more or less.)

iota · 07/01/2006 17:12

I gave up work to be SAHM when ds1 reached school age -- far too complicated for me to have one in day nursery and one in school 5 miles away, with all the complexities of travel time, drop off, pick up, after school, holiday cover etc etc

did look at the private school option but what with the cost of that for 2, plus cleaner, ironer etc it wasn't worth me going out to work for the few peanuts that would be left over (plus the stress and lack of me time) Although the generous redundancy settlment from work did skew things in favour of the SAHM option

Issymum · 07/01/2006 17:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

ballygowan · 07/01/2006 21:38

Hi i work 3 days a week and sundays 9 - 4.30 my 4 yr starts school in sept 1 yr old at nursery til 5ish. Dont know what im gonna do. Every1 thinks its too early to start worrying about after school childcare so glad to see im not the only one worrying already

paolosgirl · 07/01/2006 21:50

It's much. much harder when they are both at school. Getting them there, then from school to the after school club (we have to pay a taxi for DS), then getting them home and the homework done, dinner cooked and into bed in about 2 hours. Then there are the holidays, in-service days, illness and so on to cover, as well as time off for concerts, school open days etc etc etc. The it's the rushing about between home, work and school. It's a bloody nightmare - unless you are loaded and can afford a live in nanny, or you have family close by who help out.

Rojak · 07/01/2006 22:02

I quite often feel like you BK and I've been trying to think of options for myself too.

Although DS (4 yrs)is picked up and looked after by a friend after school and he is happier there than he would be in the after school programme offered by his school, he still tells me that he prefers to come home after school.

I then feel guilty that I'm not there when he's doing his homework, I only look through it when I get home and we have to squeeze in cooking dinner, eating, bathing kids and bedtime in 1 1/2 hours.

I'm thiknking of asking my employers for a reduction of my hours so I can work from 9 - 2 daily so I can do the school pick ups and supervise homework.

ballygowan · 07/01/2006 22:11

Im thinking of working 4 days a week but shorter hrs so can pick dd1 up from school but then dd2 will be at nursery an extra day. Whatever we do someone always seems to loose out

Rojak · 07/01/2006 22:15

Ballygowan - are you in NI?

ballygowan · 07/01/2006 22:18

Rojack - no n yorkshire.

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