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Original poster

Who do you plan to look after your children if you are ill?

22 replies

Conundrumish · 27/09/2011 18:46

I can't work out what people who send their children to afterschool clubs do when their children are ill. Do they just take time off?

OP posts:

ja9 · 27/09/2011 18:51

We call on friends and aunties nearby.... Whoever is not working that day or least likely to be affected by a sick child. It's a horrible tricky situation to be in and i live in dread of it. lots of folks i know call on grandparents... And im on the 8 month countdown til dc's grandparents retire to a house near us!

Original poster

Conundrumish · 28/09/2011 13:01

Thank you Ja9. I have realised how hopelessly unsupported we are. Grandparents too old/ill or too unwilling. I can't ever see myself getting back to work when I don't have any childcare in place

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An0therName · 28/09/2011 13:05

my experience is that primary school children are not ill that often - my DS had I think one or two days off last year - but we take annual leave normally. depends on the job of course how flexiable they can be

Sinkingfeeling · 28/09/2011 13:08

Are you asking about looking after children when you're ill or when they're ill? When we're ill we carry on as normal, though neither of us have had any serious illnesses. When they're ill we take it in turns to try to book time off work or work from home. We have 3 primary-aged dc though, and they have been ill remarkably little in the last couple of years. Managed to get chicken pox x3 out of the way when I was on maternity leave. :) Does your dh have a job where he could share care of a sick child with you? Two of my dc's grandparents live in a different country and the other two live 100 miles away and are still working themselves. I would say that the majority of working parents I know can't all on help from grandparents either.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 28/09/2011 13:09

We are completely unsupported here too - so many people are as demographics have changed massively over the last 20-30 years. We end up taking a combination of annual leave, carers leave from my work, DH working from home and as an absolute last resort/only in a complete and utter emergency phone in sick ourselves.

CultureMix · 28/09/2011 22:25

Have no close family to call on so it's between DH and myself. We take it day by day, negotiate who's in the best position that day to cancel meetings / work from home (ha! as if you actually get much done), and try to preplan / clear out the next couple of days in case it drags on. All in all probably balances out between us, am very lucky we both have some flexibility but makes for a massive backlog when DC gets better.

When DS1 was very little (< 2 years), my DH's job was 10 minutes away (as is mine) so we could arrange half-day cover and hand over at naptime which was great. Not an option anymore as he now works the other side of London so needs to plan for full day or nothing.

Wonder when DS2 will get chickenpox as hasn't happened yet - that's one whole week to juggle but all in we've been lucky so far as there haven't been too many sick days - fingers crossed!

TheFallenMadonna · 28/09/2011 22:26

We take time off, and if it is longer than a day or so, my mum does a 100 mile mercy dash to help us out.

Strumpypumpy · 28/09/2011 22:29

When my children are ill, I look after them. I leave work and off I go. But I employ the "go to school and if you still feel poorly the teacher will call me strategy." Unless there is vom or dodgy poo. Sod work! I do have the considerable option of working from home though. Funnily enough in 6 years dad has never been called!

cat64 · 28/09/2011 22:30

This reply has been deleted

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TheRhubarb · 28/09/2011 22:39

TBH, when I was working out of home (i.e. in an office) and my kids were ill, I would go home and look after them. I had no family or friends around when I was working either and I'm sorry but when it comes to that, my kids come before work every time.

Work is generally very understanding - I mean most people have kids and they have been through the very same issues when their own kids were ill. So most places are supportive and will just mark you as off sick that day, which plays havoc with your sick records but there you go.

Yes there will be days when you get the phone call to pick up your child from school, but you just go. There's no question about it. People have days off all the time, for whatever reason, but as I would hardly ever take a day off sick myself, I felt fully justified in taking time off if my kids were ill. Single people had days off to recover from hangovers or to get over their pets dying - you wouldn't believe some of the ridiculous excuses used. Children being ill and needing you is a bloody good excuse.

All of that is a long-winded way of saying - you just take the time off and work have to lump it.

TheRhubarb · 28/09/2011 22:40

Re-reading your thread title, just in case you meant that, if you are ill then no-one looks after your kids. You stick them in front of a DVD and crawl back into bed. Or you threaten to vomit all over his side of the bed unless he comes back early and supports you.

Original poster

Conundrumish · 28/09/2011 23:19

Sorry, I meant when the kids are ill not me. DH usually works a plane ride away, so unable to help out at all.

there really aren't that many days you have to take off Cat it depends on how many children you have I guess.

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CointreauVersial · 28/09/2011 23:25

You just pray that your DCs are like mine - never ill (touch wood....)!

DD2 is in Year 4 and has never missed a day of school. She's determined to get to the end of Primary with a clean sheet.

But if they are ill, either DH or I are able to work from home if necessary, so that's what happens. Or Granny makes a mercy dash.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 29/09/2011 10:36

We've got 3 children Pink, with no support - don't know if that helps, but I tend to agree with Cat. When you take the number of sick days that children (on average) take over the year it's usually less than you think.

Are you thinking of going back p/t? If so, then you've got a bit of flexibility there. Somehow you just kind of work around it....and as someone earlier said kids going ill is just a fact of life.

Lancelottie · 29/09/2011 10:50

God, you lucky sods with rarely ill children. Can I swap my sickly lot for some of yours, please?

In the past three weeks my kids have had 8 days off between them, and I'm no pushover when it comes to deciding if they really need to stay at home (two out of three schools phoned to send the buggers back after I'd heartlessly packed them off that morning).

Sorry to be the voice of doom, OP, but this isn't that unusual for our family!

Original poster

Conundrumish · 03/10/2011 20:18

Exactly Lancelottie. Mine have had 8 days off in the last two weeks. All proper stuff with temperatures/sickness etc. Grr

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Lancelottie · 04/10/2011 10:39

Hey Pink, as I said, I sympathise (and one of mine is off AGAIN today, sent home yesterday. Luckily I work from home most of the time to be coughed on )

happydotcom · 05/10/2011 18:04

I'm facing this dilema too. I go back to work in March and have no one to call on if DS is poorly. DHs parents live 300 miles away (thankfully!) and mine aren't in the best of health and smoke.
I'm a nurse and DH is Dr so one of us will have to take time off.
Deading going back to work as can't imagin leaving my DS :-(

Original poster

Conundrumish · 05/10/2011 19:58

It's so hard dotcom

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showmethemummy · 07/10/2011 15:01

I started work in mid-august. thankfully i 'work from home' ... though that's a whole other c.o.w.

since taking on the job, i've basically been ill - back spasms, throat infections, sinus blargh blargh. during this in the last two weeks dd3 came down with croup= one week at home. then dd1 with tonsilitis = a further two days at home. grrr. what's that all about, hey???

happily dd1's school handed out letters yesterday detailing the days school will be closed for various reasons during the rest of the term = another 4 days

Lancelottie · 10/10/2011 11:14

Yes, and if I'm working from home, there's never any reason for DH to take time off to look after sick children, in his eyes. It came as a bit of a shock to him when I had a spell of working in someone else's office, and at least one child was off sick in each of those eight weeks (and the school rang him EVERY time, because they couldn't get through the weird office phone system to reach me!). It had never affected him before, so I honestly don't think he'd registered that working with sick children was any problem.

royaljelly · 10/10/2011 22:50

Ill?? Sickness is forbidden in my house and if it does rear it's ugly head then i plan to get a timed pet food dispenser full of Calpol and chicken soup!

Being serious though I am dreading having to take time of work for it and have saved my flexi-time accordingly. Thankfully my boss also has 2 kids under 5 so he knows the score.

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