Really need some sound advice/ voices of experience about my possible return to work or redundancy

[lizardqueenie]

I'm due to return to work in the middle of Nov to a public sector job in London and I have been offered a return 3 days per week although my manager has said that they will need to discuss what my actual role will be for the 3 days. My department is currently making voluntary redundancies and I have put my name forward to go. I have been unsuccessful in the first round, but am waiting for the results in the second round.

I wasn't very happy in my job prior to becoming pregnant and would like an opportunity to do something else but am unsure if I am making the right decision as they have offered me pt hours so should i just grab that with both hands, even though I don't like the job?

My DM originally offered to take care of my DD 3 days per week should I return to work, although I had a think about this and decided it would probably be too much for her and that isn't what she has retired for. So we agreed that she could take DD 1 day per week and we would find a nursery place the other 2 days.

At the end of last week however my mum and I fell out, actually over an offer she had made to babysit DD as DH and I were going to go out for our anniversary & now I am thinking that actually it might not be best to have her regularly take care of DD but to be there in case she is unwell or for emergencies. She can be a bit unreliable at times.

We've found a new nursery which looks really nice and will be going back this week for a 3rd visit. However I don't know if i am doing the right thing by using a nursery for DD, she'll be 1.2 by the time she would be going. For some reason I feel a bit nervous about using a childminder, I don't know why, I have no experience of one at all.

So basically I want to know am I doing the right thing re nursery and my DM, I just keep going around in circles, should I be looking to leave a job where they have offered me 3 days but I bloody hate it, will I get another job that is 3 days/ week?

Thanks for reading if you got through that.

Really sympathise - am going round in circles about similar issues.
I am planning to work 3 days also in the public sector. We have also found a lovely nursery, I feel terribly guilty about leaving DS (he will be there 2 days a week, have other arrangements for the 3rd day) but I think nursery is important for social development and I know a lot of my friends children love nursery and can't wait to go! 3 days is not so much and you can do lovely things on the other 4 days (need to take my own advice!)

Public sector jobs especially part time are now very scarce - so can you afford not to work? Could you keep this job until something more suited comes along?

I would say give it a go.

You will not know how your DD reacts to nursery, and you need to give it a while to see how she gets on. Some children hate nursery, some love it - it depends on so many variables.

With regards to leaving your job, again I would see how it goes once you've gone back - you will find it difficult to find another job at 3 days a week although not impossible - also conditions may not be as good (I am thinking pension, holidays, flexibility, etc).

I was in a similar boat with my DD2 and she is now 2 this month and so far it has gone ok. I have had lots of wobbly moments and still I think often I would love to take redundancy etc but my job is paying for all our holidays and children's activities (we have 4) at the moment so if I give it up it will mean no more holidays and no more activities for the kids. Tough one!

Well - re childcare I would look into childminders because I think they are fab and can be cheaper and more flexiable - you need to visit some to see if it suits you though - hop over to the childminders board for more advice -but if you are happy with the childcare whatever it is then she will be fine
and I am sure if your DM isn't reliable then its not going to work for her to look after your DD

Re job it is not a good time to looking for work at the moment - and wanting part time makes it more difficult - I speak from someone made redudant in march

Thanks for those replies ladies.

The redundancy money would help us out for a bit, help me pay off a few outstanding debts like credit cards and mean that i didn't need to earn quite as much if I found another job. But I would need to work eventually for financial reasons and I don't think I could stay at home with DD full time, I think it would do me good to spend some time working outside of the house. However, just like you say An0therName its finding another job again. I keep thinking of various different things that I could do but nothing is really sticking, nothing is really certain so its not like I think I have a fab new career I could start. Sorry to hear about your recent redundancy :( , I hope that you find something.

I was trying to think ahead as well, about holidays, activities she might like to do, the fact we might like to move house. lovethehard yep and all of the flexible things that you do get with a public sector job (well you did last time i was there!) like flexi hours, good annual leave, pension.

newchoos glad to hear its not just me but feel your pain. How old will your DS be when you go back?

I think my plan now is to contact my boss to find out what it is that they envisage me doing if I return, as its not crystal clear what my job would be at the moment.

I haven't read all the responses but just wanted to add a couple of things from my experience...

Will going back 3 days per week impact on any future redundancy payout. I was initially offered 3 days at my old employer but insisted on full-time so that when the inevitable compulsory redundancies came around, my payout was calculated based on full-time salary rather than part-time salary if you see what I mean. This was private sector by the way so may not be relevant.

I have been looking to get back into work for 6 months now and, despite a good CV (by my reckoning anyway), I haven't had any success. I am already looking at roles advertised at around half my previous salary and haven't seen any appropriate part-time roles advertised. Don't underestimate how hard it is to get back into work in the current environment, particularly with a gap on your CV.

Don't know if any of that helps but I'm just rushing off to collect DCs from nursery and wanted to post before I go...

nelliesue really appreciate you taking the time to post that. Did your DC's start attending nursery 5 days per week when you returned to work?

I actually checked that out with my union when redundancies were first talked of, so a proportion of my redundancy payout would be based upon part time hours (say a few months if it was to be fairly soon) with the majority being based on FT hours for a number of years. But it is definitely an important consideration. I think if I knew that I would be made redundant in X amount of time then I could contemplate going back FT knowing it would only be for a certain period. However, I am glad that I have secured the part time working hours with the redundancy hanging in the balance.

I am really sorry that you are struggling to find something and hope that this changes for you too. I think that this is why I needed to post on here to find out how it is what the chances are of me finding something. When you are on maternity leave and in a nice little bubble you loose touch a bit with how it is.

Maybe I need to just go do it, suck it up. I think its going to shite. Not just leaving DD but working for an employer where the phrase "the arse doesn't now what the elbow is doing". But it looks like its really tough out there and maybe this isn't really the time to be looking to leave.

DC1 went to nursery 2 days a week and then 3 days with my partner doing the childcare the rest of the time (he was also "between jobs" at the time).

If I went back to work I think I would go for a balance of nursery 2-3 days and nanny/childminder for the other 2-3 days. I love my nursery and wouldn't want to take them out of there, but I'm not sure it is a good environment 5 days per week particularly for younger ones - they get soooo tired.

Thanks that's helpful to know. I've managed to sort thugs out with my mum now, miscommunication rather than anything too severe so plan is that she will have DD one day & she will go to nursery other 2 days then I'll be at home at the end of the week for the other 2 days.

A friend of mine suggested sending DD to nursery one day, with mum the next, then nursery then with me for 2 days. That way my mum gets a whole day with DD rather than just mornings or afternoons & it would also mean that when she picks up the inevitable bugs/ sniffles at least I know my mum could look after her the next day or I'll be home with the next day.

I know my nursery opens at 730-6pm but would hope that between myself, DH & my mum she wouldnt have to go that early or stay that late. Is there a normal time for picking them up? I mean it would be good for me to get into work as early as possible so I can leave early & give her tea at home.

we split drop of and pick up - drop off was 8ish and pick was 5.30 ish - depends a bit what time your DD goes to bed and how far nursery is from your house