Downshifting and the Workaholic

[NotQuiteCockney]

It's probably just a phase, but DH is muttering about getting a lower-stress, lower-hours, lower-pay sort of job. We wouldn't move, we'd just have a bit less money.

He leaves the house at 7am. He comes home at 6:30 (ish). And then works for a few hours at night, at home.

The downshifting is all very well in theory, but he's a workaholic. He once went through a phase (a few months) of working 9-5 or so, but that was a job he hated. I don't want him to change jobs, and still keep on with the same stupid hours.

Has anyone on here (or their partners) managed this? How?

I'm sort of doing this now and I have to say I bloody hate it. Admittedly its following a redundncy but my current job, while better paid, is a lot less senior and stressful than my previous one. TBH I don't feel like me, and all my talk of downsizing the stress and doing things for myself (study etc) just hasn't worked for me.

I think I need the buzz of work and the stress of work, I've never had hobbies or been any good at relaxing and was climbing the walls in my mat leave (don't get me wrong I adore DS with every part of me). Maybe your DH is the same?

I think you need to ask him what he's going to do with all the energy he won't be using for work - maybe its actually more about taking a break than about downsizing

Oh, good point. DH has no hobbies. He doesn't cook. He doesn't do DIY. Ok, he plays video games, but you can't do that for hours and hours.

He would like to do more with the kids, I think. Do football with them or something?

I've said, by way of a threat, that if he downshifts, he will have to do lots less hours, or have therapy to work out why he's still working too much.