School holidays

[munki]

I really hope someone can give me some advice, I am so upset about this and just dont know what to do.

I work a 30 hour week. I don't want to, but that's the minimum I'm allowed to do. DC is full time at nursery - I feel terrible about it and very very guilty. She starts school in September, I am hoping against hope my employer will let me start work early and leave early so she won't have to go to an after school club but I am very worried about how we will manage the school holidays. Between us me and H have 10 weeks holiday, even if we add them together (so no time off together) there are still 4 weeks of school holidays left over. So no family holidays and dc in a holiday club or something.

I don't know what to do and I am so upset. Please, please can someone give me some advice. TIA, v much appreciated

Can you get a summer aupair who just comes for 6 weeks in the summer? Depending on where you live, this can be an attractive proposition for an international student. Surely you can investigate local holiday clubs as well? Almost every area has them now, run by the council, local gyms or churches or specialist providers. Otherwise you might find a childminder who would provide holiday care for your dc. I'm to sure you would get one to cover odd half-term weeks but you might find someone with a space who would cover longer holiday periods.

You haven't mentioned grandparents, aunties etc.

My mum can usually be relied on to take my 2 for 5 days here and there.

Also my sister and I usually do a week of swopsies in the summer and at Easter - so you get 4 weeks childcare for 2 weeks off work. If you are very well-organised you could do it with a local friend?

Good luck.

What's wrong with her spending some time in holiday clubs and after school care? Lots of children do.

There are lots of very very good holiday clubs out there - and unless you're going away then the 6 weeks of the summer is a hell of a long time to keep a small child entertained at home, especially once they're used to the constant activity of school. Don't see it as a 4 week block, see it as week with mum, week of club, week with Dad, week of club, etc.

It won't do her any harm at all and she'll have a load of fun. Financially it's a killer though - in my FT working days I just resigned myself to working at a loss over the summer.

Er, you're going to have to do what the rest of us do and put your child in some sort of holiday club/playscheme. It's not the end of the world and your child will probably enjoy it. We cover 10 weeks of holiday between us and have one week a year off together. It's just what you do when you work and have kids.

Sorry, that may have come across as a bit harsh. Don't feel guilty, find the best childcare you can afford and be at peace with your decision. If you have to work, that's what you do. It doesn't make you a bad mother.

You might find you could put her back into her old nursery for some of the weeks. Our old nursery would take their "graduates" back on an ad hoc basis, working round occasional vacancies (eg when their regulars went on holiday). It only really works when she's quite small, but it might bridge the time until you feel she is ready for holiday clubs.

We used to get a summer au pair for 6 weeks when we were in the same position.

Go and have a look at the before/after school club. Ours is lovely, a really homely setting with great staff.
When dd started school (nearly 3 years ago) another mother made an insensitive and judgmental remark about dcs that "have to" go to wraparound care etc. Well jolly good for her with her p/t term time only job and mother who moves in for weeks on end to help.

Try and be positive and realistic about your options. You and/or your dh are entitled to some unpaid parental leave - could you afford to consider that?

Any family/gps around to help?

Could you have a friend's child say for a weekend or couple of Saturdays in exchange for a couple of weekdays looking after your dc?

Could you and/or dh compress your hours. e.g. work your 30 hours over 3 long days which frees up two weekdays?

Try and be positive and look at solutions, don't prejudge the childcare that is on offer. :)

Welcome to my world, this is what most ft wohm patents do unless they are teachers.
Unless you can negociate part time work to term time which isnt always possible you will have to do what I do which is take all your holidays in school holidays, possibly split a week or 2 each with your dh and use child minders (if you find one that takes teachers children they nay have holiday vacancies) or clubs for the rest of it.
Before you know it they are teenagers and dont need child care.....

Even when I was working full-time and thought my time with the kids was precious, they had other ideas and used to complain that they weren't allowed into late club like some of their friends. They also nag me to go to the holiday clubs because their friends form school go too. Google 'supercamps' and the like to see what they offer - my two love them. You will also find cheaper holiday clubs locally - ask around. I promise that the kids really enjoy these camps (with the exception of very shy children).

When you have got to know the other mums you can often arrange 'swaps' over the shorter holidays, whereby you look after their child for a couple of days, and then you go to work whilst the other mum looks after your DC.

And even with very shy children (good point Squiffy) it is often possible to try and get them to attend an activity/club with a friend or sibling.

We are through this phase now but it was hard. It is the reason lots of my friends gave up full time work. Not many working parents have the luxury of relatives nearby to help.

I used to have a student to help out over the summer - it worked very well. One year I got a newly qualified teacher who was waiting to start her first job, she was excellent.

Mine did as Hassled suggested "week with mum & dad, week of club, week with GP, week of club, etc" from reception onwards. The clubs gave her a chance to play with kids who were from different schools and try new skills & crafts.

She's now a well adjusted confident teenager, I think these & after school clubs were brilliant & saved my sanity.

We had 2 boys and our friends had 2 boys and I remember for 2 weeks in one summer holiday one of the four parents looked after all 4 boys. So each parent only had to take 2-3 days off to cover this 2 weeks.
Is there another mum who you can both do each other a favour as above?
Neither of my boys really liked the summer holiday club, but they had to go as there wasn't really another choice ( I did only work 4 mornings when they were young so they were lucky to come home at lunch time!)

Re after school clubs - the money I could just about cope with, it was just that my 2 hated it from the word "go". My parents are 3 hrs away but it's doable if they take the kids for a week - I drop them on a Sunday, my mum brings them back on the bus on the Friday.

Do swaps with other parents for some of the days? DS isn't wild on holiday club but is happy enough to go if his little pal is going and they do fantastic excursions.

Why do you think you are so upset about the idea of holiday club, but can cope with your DC at nursery and school ?

Good question from rookiemater - why do you think you are so upset? Presumably you get the same ammount of holidays now so you have 5 or 6 weeks off with dc, which will not change when he/she starts school.

Like everyone else, I mix and match holiday club with childminder with friends. Sometimes I manage an extra day off on a holiday week but where I work it's a scrum for school holidays anyway so most of us take 2 weeks summer, one of the easter weeks and share out Xmas and half terms so that everyone gets a fair crack at at least 4 weeks off during the school holidays. Ds is not over keen on holiday club but does enjoy it when he's there and having a few days to chill out at the childminders with some friends from school does seem to relax him. As they get older they also seem to need more entertaining and want to be with friends so you might find holiday clubs a welcome activity in a few years!