Au pair in a small house?

[Elf]

DD will be 2 and a quarter when baby number two is born in Dec-Jan. Both DH and I are cr*pping ourselves! DD has just started to refuse her daytime nap and we just generally feel as you can sometimes, two years into this knackering business. Though of course dd is utterly wonderful and I think really quite "easy" as they go, apparently.

Anyway, DH is wanting an au pair because of course it means we get a lot more hours help. We would only be able to afford about 10 hours a week otherwise. Also BTW we are not happy about putting DD into nursery until she is three, that´s just how we feel, (unfortunately).

But, we are moving back to our small house in ENgland next month, three bedrooms but one v small and I just think it would be a nightmare. The baby would wake the au pair up in the night, I would have no other room upstairs to go to if I want to in the night, she would probably wake me and or the baby up with bathroom-loo TV noises etc and it just stresses me out thinking about it.

So, has anyone ever had an au pair in a small house?

Do you know anything about sharing an au pair/nanny type person, whatever? And wouldn´t they be knackered because they are already looking aftersomeone else´s kids?!

And is there a rule about how big their bedroom should be because if she had to have DD´s old room and DD has the box room that is going to be horrible.

Thanks everyone. From Stressed Out Just Thinking About It.

Can you get a 'live out' au pair Elf ?

Can you get a 'live out' au pair Elf ?

I have a friend who's childminder goes to her house to childmind, the childminder does bring her son with her but everyone seems happy enough with this arrangement. Friends childminder doesn't look after anyone elses children.

My friend has said though that it's a bit like paying a friend to come and visit and so have had to set up direct debit as the handing over of cash was becoming uncomfortable.

Elf, I think I would feel like you, and don't think I could cope with someone living in a small house with us, though I haven't tried it. My arrangement is a bit like Jenie's friend: My Nanny brings her own child, who is one month younger than my ds, with her. It's a brilliant, my ds stays on familiar territory, he has a friend/partner-in-crime (they are sweet, helpful and loving towards each other...yes, two year olds!!), and we pay a reduced rate because she is effectively a nannyshare, but with herself! We found her through Simply Childcare. I guess it's hard to find a Nanny who's just had a baby and might want to resume work with baby in tow, especially as she would have three to look after...tho' will your dd be going to nursery pt when 3? OR maybe it would work if she had a child the same age as your dd, especially if the two toddlers went to nursery p/t?

Hey? Why doesn't Mumsnet have a Childcare Exchange and Advertise section???

Thanks for the answers. Batters, I don't really care about whether it is an au pair, or childcare, I just want someone to come round to our house and HELP!!

Blu, is this Simply Childcare national? Do they have a website?

I'm quite happy to have a person come in with their toddler, whatever, but it's how you find these people and how to get someone good but cheap! I'd like as many hours help as poss.

Elf, sorry I keep forgetting to bring the Simply Childcare info into work with me...I think someone has mentioned it on this site before, so may be worth doing a search. I'm pretty sure they cover only wider London, tho'. The difficulty for you if you are looking for some non-conventional arrangement is that they tend to happen through quite grassroots connections; a good way to find out about nannies who have children of their own would be by being in contact with one of the informal 'nanny-networks' that they seem to have. Do you know which nursery your toddler will be going to eventually? Maybe you could send adverts to be put up there and at any other local child-friendly places, toy and clothing shops, cafes, toddler groups....does the locality have a good website, the council one, for example, that would list some of those places? Good luck.