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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Pub wakes up to lighter mornings and darker evenings, but we don't care as long as we have gerbils

139 replies

MyrtleLion · 25/10/2026 17:34

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the online pub just for women. And we have a legal definition, thanks to the Supreme Court, whatever anyone else says.

Gosie's latest adventures are finally drawing to a close, so expect a terrific denoument in about a week. Nothing in the food or drink can harm you, everything is served by the lovely gerbil crew, who enjoy supporting us and the other female animals in our menagerie (with a respectful nod to Colin, the dachshund.

If you've heard of us and have spent a long time peering through the windows, wondering if we're an actual cult or just a bunch of very busy women with a ridiculous sense of humour, do come in. Everyone is welcome, though curious menfolk are welcome at the Staunch Ally down the road, where they are invited to support us from a respectful distance.

Previous thread is here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5588672-welcome-to-the-bluestocking-it-is-celebration-time-for-everyone

Welcome to the Bluestocking! It is celebration time for everyone! | Mumsnet

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the best (perhaps only) online women’s pub. The sign on the door says CELEBRATION, in glitter, and the gerbils have been...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5588672-welcome-to-the-bluestocking-it-is-celebration-time-for-everyone

OP posts:
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26
MyrtleLion · 25/10/2026 17:37

72. Eavesdropping

In which Fenella Burnish is called to account…

Still concealed by the hedge, the Bluestocking crew watched Fenella Burnish put down her lead knife and climb down the scaffold one rung at a time. Three of the four windows had been installed, and the Sainte-Chapelle panel was propped underneath its opening.

Without any warning, @DauntlessDamson leapt onto the outside sill of the open middle window and pressed her body closely against the outside edge to listen to the conversation.

“How did she do that?” asked Gumshoe. “She was standing next to us less than a minute ago.”

“No-one ever knows,” said Guile.

Damson watched as Gloriana Gräfin unbuttoned her gloves, laid them on the prie-dieu, and walked round the octagon, stopping under each of the windows in turn. She stopped longest at the empty middle opening, where the crew could see her from the hedge. Gantry opened her mouth. Marie de Gournay put a finger to her own lips and looked at Gantry until she closed it again.

“I count only four windows,” said Gloriana Gräfin.

“Yes,” said Fenella.

“You came to us that night without an appointment, Fenella. You, who will not open your own door to anybody who has not written first.”

“It could not wait for a letter.”

“No. You told us somebody had copied our spreadsheet onto a data stick, that you had no idea whose stick it was or where it had gone. You then told us you had locked three gerbils in your storeroom with the Winchester window. You asked us what to do with them.”

Griffin gasped aloud then whispered, “I knew it was Fenella who locked us in!”

“We told you what to do,” continued the Margrave. “The gerbils were to stay where you had put them until you could question them in the morning. Gemma Glasswing’s copy was to be installed into Winchester Cathedral within the week. The Winchester window was to join the windows in Sweden and then all five were to come here together.”

“I went back in the morning to question them,” said Fenella. “The courier was not due until ten, but she was early.”

“Then you should have been there at nine,” said the Margrave. “By missing the courier you have jeopardised the entire operation. A copy of our spreadsheet is in the hands of whoever has that data stick.”

“ @AngleofRepose has it on her laptop,” whispered Gimbal.

“Nobody can open the dispatch register without the password.”

“Fu55buck£t,” whispered Griffin.

“A gerbil who knows how to copy a spreadsheet to a data stick will be more than capable of opening it,” said the Margrave. “The full details of every window we have removed and replaced with a copy since 1763 are on that register. Anybody who can count the number of rows in that spreadsheet will know what has been happening to hundreds of cathedral windows for nearly three centuries. We have had to bring everything forward to finish this part of the work urgently before anyone realises exactly what they have and what they can do with it.”

Fenella lowered her head.

“Where is my window now?” said the Margrave.

Fenella gave no answer.

In the hedge, Gimbal began to count seconds under her breath. She reached six, lost count, and started again from one. She had reached three for the second time when Fenella spoke.

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either,” said the Margrave, “but I do know where it will end up.” She picked up her gloves from the prie-dieu. “I went to the Bluestocking last night. There was a great deal of birthday cake and hardly anybody there to eat it, and when I asked where everybody had gone, a gerbil told me ‘windows’. They are hunting for my windows, Fenella, and whoever has the fifth window will eventually bring it here.”

“And when they do?”

“We will be ready for them. I have other business right now, but I will be back before dark.”

Gloriana Gräfin fastened the top button of her coat and walked out of the door and over to the Daimler. The crew watched the car pull out into the lane and kept staring until they could no longer hear its engine.

Fenella climbed the scaffold again, unwrapped the window from Sainte-Chapelle and began to fit it. She was no longer humming.

“They think we are still on our way here,” whispered @Hedgehogforshort.

“Which means they don’t know we have already arrived,” said Gosie, “and that is to our advantage.”

A little before five the churchwarden’s estate car returned to the chapter house and moments later the Daimler drove in alongside it. Gloriana Gräfin stepped out of the vehicle, exchanged a few words with the chauffeur then walked over to the churchwarden’s car.

Fenella switched off the generator and the arc lights shut down. She walked down the path and opened the rear passenger door of the churchwarden’s car to allow the Margrave to take a seat. Fenella then opened the front passenger door and stepped into the car. The churchwarden locked the door, wound the chain through the gate and fastened the padlock. Then she slipped into the driver’s seat and drove off with the Margrave and Fenella.

The Daimler was parked in the lane between the gate and the field. Its lights and its engine were off. The stoat removed her cap, took a thermos from a bag tucked under the dashboard, unscrewed its lid and poured herself a cup.

@thehorticulturalHussie looked at the gate, and then at the stoat in the Daimler.

“That,” she said, “is a problem.”

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/72-eavesdropping

The Bluestocking Pub wakes up to lighter mornings and darker evenings, but we don't care as long as we have gerbils
OP posts:
Magpiecomplex · 25/10/2026 17:42

Ooooh!

Thanks for the new thread Myrtle. Lovely windows...

MyrtleLion · 25/10/2026 17:45

The second one should be this one...

And Fenella is doing something to a brick wall rather than a window, but hey, what can I do?

The Bluestocking Pub wakes up to lighter mornings and darker evenings, but we don't care as long as we have gerbils
OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 25/10/2026 18:16

Very artistic and talented new thread - thank you, @MyrtleLion!

EmpressaurusKitty · 25/10/2026 18:30

Thank you, @MyrtleLion!

MyrtleLion · 25/10/2026 18:42

I'm sorry, @MarieDeGournay, I forgot to tag you in the chapter. 🥲

OP posts:
AngleofRepose · 25/10/2026 20:06

Is everyone over here? It's awfully echoey in the Old Place but plenty of space to chat still.

EdithStourton · 25/10/2026 20:26

<on the phone from the old place>
I'm currently loading trailers. I'll be needing a large hot chocolate with a nip of brandy once I arrive.

Excellent new episode, Myrtle - I love the way the gerbil helpfully remind me of earlier plot twists and details. And thanks for the new thread.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 25/10/2026 20:36

If everyone agrees, the Bluestocking could become a ship & accompany Chic to America. At least it'll be a change from the desert.

The Bluestocking Pub wakes up to lighter mornings and darker evenings, but we don't care as long as we have gerbils
Chersfrozenface · 25/10/2026 20:37

Popped in to baggsy a seat.

Still wandering around. Look what they had in the cafe at lunchtime.

The Bluestocking Pub wakes up to lighter mornings and darker evenings, but we don't care as long as we have gerbils
Chickadeeinme · 25/10/2026 21:08

@ifIwerenotanandroid - plenty of space on this ship if you can persuade @ErroltheDragonto fly you all over!

AngleofRepose · 25/10/2026 21:14

ifIwerenotanandroid · 25/10/2026 20:36

If everyone agrees, the Bluestocking could become a ship & accompany Chic to America. At least it'll be a change from the desert.

Will the barn fit? The camels have gotten very used to the heated plunge pool.

AngleofRepose · 25/10/2026 21:15

That Fenella is Thanksgiving dinner on toast, isn't she? 😬

FuzzyPuffling · 25/10/2026 21:19

If you're a ship, I'll see you in the sea, as I'm mid-Atlantic for the winter, catching fish.

AMansAManForAllThat · 25/10/2026 21:27

Evening all! We having a lock in? I won’t stay as it’s clock day so the pumpkin carriage is a bit unreliable.

AMansAManForAllThat · 25/10/2026 21:30

@Thehorticulturalhussie 14 days with no walks for a 2 yr old bouncy breed… is that practical? I mean, I can tie his food into a towel to make him work for it, and do some training in the house and garden, but I’d think he’ll be a bit fed up. The garden is good for a sniff but not big enough for a gallop!

EmpressaurusKitty · 25/10/2026 21:35

I’m sure the Bluestocking ship will fit the crafting nook in, but will it also have space for a catnip patch?

Thehorticulturalhussie · 25/10/2026 22:01

AMansAManForAllThat · 25/10/2026 21:30

@Thehorticulturalhussie 14 days with no walks for a 2 yr old bouncy breed… is that practical? I mean, I can tie his food into a towel to make him work for it, and do some training in the house and garden, but I’d think he’ll be a bit fed up. The garden is good for a sniff but not big enough for a gallop!

Well, that’s just my advice based on experience. If your new pup has been bounced around s/he needs some quiet and stability and needs as little excitement as possible just to understand their new normal.

DauntlessDamson · 25/10/2026 22:13

Thehorticulturalhussie · 25/10/2026 22:01

Well, that’s just my advice based on experience. If your new pup has been bounced around s/he needs some quiet and stability and needs as little excitement as possible just to understand their new normal.

Made it at last! I may have leapt onto that ledge before anyone was aware (including me!), but It took me an age to get down. I wasn't being very subtle at the window, was I?

Thanks for the new thread Myrtle. I hope all the animals are settled in their new quarters.

A hot chocolate with a Tia Maria chaser, please bargerbil.

DauntlessDamson · 25/10/2026 22:15

Apologies Horti, I seem to have quoted you in error. It's been a long day..........

Thehorticulturalhussie · 25/10/2026 22:23

DauntlessDamson · 25/10/2026 22:15

Apologies Horti, I seem to have quoted you in error. It's been a long day..........

No problem, I’m in the BS drinking very large vodka tonics 🙂 xx

JanesLittleGirl · 25/10/2026 22:48

@Chickadeeinme Please make sure that you have an ample supply of seasickness tablets?

This is what you are sailing into tomorrow:

The Bluestocking Pub wakes up to lighter mornings and darker evenings, but we don't care as long as we have gerbils
Chickadeeinme · 25/10/2026 22:52

JanesLittleGirl · 25/10/2026 22:48

@Chickadeeinme Please make sure that you have an ample supply of seasickness tablets?

This is what you are sailing into tomorrow:

Already seen it! And yes I have a stash of Avomine from the purser and took one tonight. You aren’t supposed to drink alcohol with it but luckily I am the wagon at the moment (except in the Bluestocking where a nice G&T hurts no one) because alcohol doesn’t suit me while I’m on the Wegovy pill.

AngleofRepose · 25/10/2026 23:35

Why am I still awake?

Just popped in to see who's still around. Anyone?

(I brought the chocs from the Old Place. They are wrapped in red and green and gold foil... they might be left over from last C-word, but I can't promise anything. Stale chocs, anyone?)

ifIwerenotanandroid · Yesterday 00:27

Rest assured, fellow patrons, that everything fits inside the Bluestocking: multiple quilting nooks, camel plunge pools, catnip patches, anything you can think of. The PS Bluestocking (Pub Ship) operates just the same as its land-based versions.

It's also equipped with a special thingummy I invented which means it's completely stable no matter the state of the sea - which is why I vote against taking up Chic's kind offer of transferring to QM2. Fingers crossed for calm waters for Chic tomorrow.