Backlash against a hugging grandparents consent ad

[IwantToRetire]

(The ad, one of three, is part of a campaign called We-Consent, run by the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre (DRCC).)

Extract only:

A spokesperson for the Department of Justice said the videos were "produced by DRCC at low cost using volunteers and are not part of a government advertising campaign".

Meanwhile, Dr Eoin O'Malley, an associate professor at Dublin City University, said he believes the advert is the latest example of the state overreaching.

"You are seeing people pushing ideas that are beyond mainstream," he said.

O'Malley said that the importance of consent is reasonable to most people, but that the video is too extreme.

"The idea that there needs to be an ad telling grandparents that they shouldn't hug their grandkids, that they should look for permission in advance of that, seems absurd to most normal people.

"The Irish constitution is very clear that the family is the primary unit for teaching children and for raising children, and so to some extent this is kind of going beyond that."

However, the campaign has its defenders too.

Academic Dr Órfhlaith Campbell said it is not an attack on grandparents but instead aimed to highlight the importance of consent.

"The ad is highlighting differences in children's needs and the imp (sic) of consent. It is not campaigning against grandparents. Dear god in heaven!!!" she wrote on X, external.

An account named Danny Boy said it wasn't "discouraging grandparents from hugging children" but was "encouraging children to speak up" if they feel uncomfortable.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c83vqn6zwrx0o

I remember this being a very active discussion a few years (decades?) ago so am surprised by this reaction.

I don't understand your logic here at all. Consent is informed and freely given. Consenting because someone will abuse and sulk is not consent. Neither is consenting to kiss grandma or grandpa because otherwise you'll be perceived as rude, misbehaving or someone will have a sulk. Your post reads like you don't actually understand what consent is. Alarming to see consent and children respected and safeguarded as 'anti family' on here.

I don't think that's what posters are saying. There's been nuanced discussion about both the intention, the detail and the thinking behind this film. Irish posters have shared context and I think it's made many of us reflect on our interactions with children and both social conventions and maintaining the family operate.

There's been a little bit of hyperbole in taking some posters comments out of context and alleging that they're somehow alarming or anti safeguarding children. I think it's fascinating and important for all adults to reflect on social conventions, how we teach these to children, most of it through our own behaviour.

I thought of this thread yesterday when a toddler wedged himself into my comfy chair with a book for us to read. When I put an arm around him (to stop him falling off) he shrugged it off. He wanted the close contact without being held. Fascinating to observe his seemingly contradictory messages.

This is a parenting site and it's a shame if people stop posting because they're being accused of not wanting to safeguard children if they think that kissing grandma when she walks in is polite or important.

I am Irish and a child sexual abuse survivor. I grew up in a family that encouraged hugs and kisses to elder family members for the sake of politeness and I can assure you it is not harmless. have quoted the users words without editing. There is no 'taking out of context' that PP believes it's appropriate for children to be made to have physical contact that makes them uncomfortable for the sake of social convention. As you are not PP, you can make your own judgement on their words but I'm not sure how you can mind read to know what they meant by them? It's not hyperbolic to say it's harmful and it goes against advice to keep children safe. If someone thinks missing grandma is more important or polite than not teaching their child (a child!) that they have to undergo physical touch that they do.not.want because it makes other people happy. Funnily enough, small children can't differentiate between you teaching them they need to have unwanted physical contact with one adult for politeness and that they shouldn't be expected to tolerate it from another adult for the same reason. If you really want to argue against that, do so with some actual logic instead of coming to tell me what another poster meant when they could easily explain their own intentions. As a parenting site, I would expect people to put the safety and needs of children above an adult who should be able to be mature enough to not be offended that someone doesn't want to kiss them and shouldn't want affection from someone who doesn't want to freely give it.