The constant use of Groomer against TRAs is doing the GC cause harm

[RobynMiller]

Just seen this posted by Glinner
https://x.com/Glinner/status/2106504469651579047
Text
Russell T Davies says I called him "a paedophile and a groomer" in this. It's a lie. I did call him a groomer, because he used Doctor Who to push gender ideology, in which no child would believe unless an adult had planted it in his or her head.

And I just find it disingenuous from him. It's no secret I don't love his decent into more, let's call it, aggressive strategies on social media, but they are now coming home to roost and won't be good for any of us.

The word Groomer has a very specific history when it comes to CSA so to use it as often as he (and other) do and then claim you don't mean it in the very well accepted way is always meant just doesn't sit right with me.

Is there a term we can use that isn't sp precariously close to slandering someone as a Child sex abuser?

Here is the article he is referring to in the tweet

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2026/oct/03/russell-t-davies-interview-doctor-who-fierce-fandom-love-grief

Oh, it’s Howse is it? Enough said!

p.s. As ever, apologies for typos - 'see' not 'are' etc.

I want to say something about the myth which is 'transing'.

No one is doing this. Not parents, teachers or any other adult. There is no gang of Big Pharma execs forcing children to be trans.

Every trans child will tell you that being out is both liberating and terrifying. Anti-trans violence is real.

Some basic points:

• No parent craves having a trans child. They know how much danger trans kids face.

Being out at school massively affects academic performance too. It's days off school because the child is either worn out or too scared to attend. The modern curriculum is so tough that losing even a few weeks of school will likely drop a child's grades - and many trans kids stop going in for months, or at all. Non-attendance also risks parents being fined, and having to cope with endless meetings with teachers.

• No parent thinks the life of a trans child is easier than that of a gay cis child. You can hide being gay, but not being trans.

And think about it. Which would parents accept more readily: a child being gay or a child being trans?

• No, parents who support their trans children aren't suffering from factitious disorder imposed on another (used to be called Munchausen by proxy). No parent gains from having a trans child. There is no attention, no financial reward (often a major driver of FDIOA), and no constant medical procedures.

Surgery for under-18s is banned almost everywhere.

Gender-affirming care is almost impossible to access unless you have a lot of spare cash.

Parents with FDIOA want endless medical procedures performed on their children, and to make them ill. The child being oblivious to this deception - and believing they are sick - is critical to the FDIOA parent's success.

A trans child not permanently ill or attending hospital.

My son changed his name, hair and pronouns. Still wore the exact same uniform as before. I hated all the constant school contact. GCs still call me 'Munchausen' and accuse me of 'transing' him on a weekly basis. Oh and of being a groomer too, because of course.

• Parents who manage to find the money for gender-affirming care are not doing it because they desperately want to 'trans' their child.

It's to save their life. Living with both dysphoria and anti-trans violence - while failing school - makes trans children feel they have no future.

The myth that adults are advocating for and directly 'transing' children is leading to vigilantism.

That's why RTD is scared.

Everyone who claims people like him (a gay man with a very full life) are 'transing' gay children and actively preying on them, are directly encouraging cranks to target them.

The myth of 'transing' exists because:

a) anti-trans people don't want to accept that they're doing great harm to trans children, so prefer to believe their existence is a conspiracy. The origin myths are quite breaktaking in their unreality. (Silliest of all is the 'trans the gay away' myth. Sexuality isn't gender, and trans people are straight, gay, ace etc. My son is a trans gay man, for example. I know an ace trans woman.) 'Transing' is a far-right creation, used to justify violence against trans people.

b) to reinforce the claim that no one is actually trans.

'Transing' doesn't happen.

Learning about being trans/nb doesn't create trans children either. Trans kids are still few and far between, usually a couple per school.

'Transing' is a variation on homophobic lies about why gay people exist, designed to stamp on the rights of minorities by saying who they are isn't real.

I'll end here (I know, finally 😁) by saying: being trans is not easy. In fact, it's a life of discrimination and violence.

Please stop encouraging vigilantism. Please.

It's not a smear to point out the links. In fact calling out the far right using women's rights to further their own agenda would be a pretty good way of dispelling the claims that Nazis are welcomed by GC people. If you're not willing to call them out then you're part of the problem frankly.

I could point out myriad ways in which trans activists behave like far right goons, you know? Do you call them out? And I mean, most people, far right or not argue against trans bullshit because it is bullshit. They believe in material reality like the next person, I won’t call them out for that, but I will call them out for racism, for example.

Do you call out the transpeople, some of them on this very board, who issue rape threats to women? If not, why not?

What nonsense.

Nonsense faux academic chop and glue.

Of course, lots of people participate in grooming without realising it. They facilitate the grooming for others. They are unwitting participants.

You see this when people demonstrate their lack of understanding of safeguarding. The teachers who don’t see a problem with other staff members being alone with children. The gymnastics organisations who let young athletes see a doctor unchecked.

This is pervasive in gender ideology. The teachers told it’s okay to keep children’s secrets from parents. The doctors implementing WPATH’s guidelines. The charities that employ people with questionable backgrounds and hold secret discussions online. The parents dealing with it at home while their child spends time on grooming forums like Reddit and Discord, where young girls are told “you look awesome Dude!” and and “you totally pass Bro!”

It’s not the teachers, the doctors, the good-intentioned charity workers, or the parents doing the grooming. They have been groomed themselves into thinking it’s all acceptable or just what you “have to do”.

I don’t think you understand what the term grooming means OP. It is not synonymous with sexual abuse.

Grooming behaviours can lead to sexual abuse, but not necessarily. Also, anyone can be groomed, not just children.

Suzzy green admitted transitioning her gay son because her husband was homophobic.
The running ironic "joke" at the Tavistock clinic was that their would be no gay children left.
Jazz jennings parents made a fortune from him
Look at all the insta parents getting fame and adulation from transitioning their kids.
We've had parents on here so desperate for a trans child that they claimed a non verbal 9 month old waving their hand over a picture book proved they were trans.
We had that American nut job behind the satanic panic claim that baby girls pulling out ribbons and hair clips made them transmen and that baby boys who unpoppering their onesies mean that they are transwomen.
Everything that you have posted is provably false

The “GC but”-ness of it all

In at least one episode of Doctor Who, a male character was described being born a boy but is now a women.

Its dangerous telling children than a grown man is a woman.

Its basic safeguarding that we know age and sex. Females are girls and women. Males are boys and men. Its important that children understand this.

Its not just RTD fault, the bbc let it happen. But RTD did try to confuse children for the sake of it. Doctor who didnt need to introduce such a concept.

Whilst there's certainly instances of TRA illiberal behaviour its not the same as it being ubiquitous in their movement which as we can see just from the behaviour & rationalisations on this thread it it is in the gender critical movement. They believe trans identification to be only the result of a contagion, perversion & mental illness that's 'learned'/groomed…just like the far right does about everything they don't agree with including feminism.

I'd encourage you to do so. If you have evidence of rape threats on this board from trans people then I would suggest you report them to both Mumsnet and the police for action. That's absolutely disgusting.

Trans people existing is not a safeguarding issue for crying out loud. It's post like these that make it harder and harder to make the argument that being gender critical is the sensible position.

She didn’t say they issued them on this board. They have done so elsewhere though.

Harming the CG cause.

Absolutely! If only women's rights campaigners were more polite, moderate, inoffensive and chose our words more carefully, everyone would instantly rally to the cause and our rights be secured forever.

If only the Suffragettes had listened when they were repeatedly given the same advice: women would have votes now! If the titans of Women's Liberation had helped their cause by avoiding words that upset people, we might now have the right to our own money and to make our own decisions.

GC feminists should surely adopt the gentle, co-operative approach modelled by trans activists: as we have seen, they won hearts & minds everywhere with their kindly uncontroversial messaging. We should be careful not to challenge anything, except in the mildest terms.

🙄

"Do you call out the transpeople, some of them on this very board, who issue rape threats to women?"

Read my post again.

You appear to be suggesting that trans people should develop the same tactics the suffragettes used to win their rights?

How would that change my advice to report it to the police? Will they not investigate because these rape threats were posted elsewhere?

Well, if that's as far as your reading comprehension can take you - yes, it would be an improvement on their prolifically detailed rape and murder threats, widespread lying, piss protests and mass intimidation.

What a peculiar idea, that trans ideology challenges social norms.

The whole thing is parasitical on the notion that femininity and masculinity are sharply differentiated and socially recognisable. You can't be a male- bodied person "living as a woman" if living as a woman is indistinguishable from living as a man because there are numerous members of both sexes who do/ wear / behave / name themselves in every possible way, such that nothing can be socially man- or woman- coded . You can't even be ostentatiously "non- binary" if non- binary behaviour is the social norm. Nothing is left but pronouns, an untruthful M or F in official documents, and attempts to breach spaces where sex, not gender, is the rationale.

Under those circumstances gender becomes meaningless and pointless. You can do what you like without having to " identify" as anything. (Sex, however, does not become meaningless. It exists, matters in the situations where it matters, and that's all.)

Trousers are a good microcosm of this. Women have adopted them in such large numbers that putting on a pair of trousers no longer genders a person.

Dresses, to date, haven't achieved the same status. If men can wear them while still being recognised and accepted as men, that's another social convention busted, like the trouser convention. If men who wear them are read as, and consider themselves to be, women, then convention is still king.

It's just occurred to me that the reason TRAs in the west have become so hell bent on pronouns, gendered documentation and access to single sex spaces is precisely because feminism has had an effect and there are far fewer hard and fast - and therefore authoritative - social gender markers now. It's paradoxically easier (if riskier) to validate your transness in a conservative society with very strong gendered conventions.

Trans identification absolutely at its essence challenges gender norms in the act of natal males & natal females expressing gender non conformity to what is socially commonly associated to men & women. That they use 'trans man/woman' is simply a shorthand description of this phenomena not a prescriptivist idea on what qualifies as a man or woman for everyone.

The point gender critical critique of gender stereotypes fails to comprehend is socially constructed categorical roles, behaviours expressions, and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and gender-diverse people exist independently of trans people. Its reality right or wrong so trans people are simply pointing to which social category they identify with not sex. That's not the same as saying men or women typically behave a certain way so they should be sexually categorised as such.

And the idea that the gender critical movement is opposed to sex stereotypes is patently false give the particular derision they reserve for trans women (not trans men interestingly) expressing gender non conformity as in the vicious mocking of them as 'men in dresses' 'woman face' 'cross dressers' & 'AGP' thereby modelling a distinct internalised misogyny that aligns with misogynistic views of patriarchal values where the demeaning of feminine expression AKA femmephobia has a long history rooted in the systemic devaluation of traits, behaviours and aesthetics associated with women and femininity. Historically, patriarchal structures have positioned masculinity as the universal human standard leaving femininity to be viewed as inferior, superficial, or manipulative.

Describing feminine traits, behaviours and aesthetics as purely a 'stereotype' is simply another form of femmephobia. Just because patriarchal & social expectations exist regarding feminine expression doesn't mean that's the only cause of them. In fact gendered traits are considered as both a nature/nurture phenomenon with genes, hormones & evolutionary survival & mating pressures influencing their expression.

I wasn’t criticising your advice to report to the police, that wasn’t remotely what I was disagreeing with.