I think this is where I fundamentally disagree. To me, there is no meaningful commonality between transwomen and women as a sex class. Sharing the same clothes, interests, hobbies, aesthetics, or even certain personality traits strikes me as a superficial commonality rather than a substantive one.
What has shaped my view is my own experience. I've met many transwomen over the years and I was genuinely open to finding the connection that people describe. I thought perhaps there would be an immediate sense of recognition, a feeling that this person was, at some deep level, another woman. Not because of appearance, femininity, masculinity, or shared interests, but because of that subtle, unspoken sense of mutual understanding that often exists between women regardless of how different they are from one another.
I've never experienced that. What I've found instead is that my interactions with transwomen have felt much more similar to my interactions with men than with women. Obviously that's subjective, and others may feel differently, but it has been consistent enough that it has shaped my conclusions.
So when people argue that transwomen are women because they identify more closely with female typical behaviours or preferences, that doesn't resonate with me.
My understanding of womanhood has never been rooted in clothes, hobbies, personalities, or stereotypes. It's rooted in the shared reality of being female, and I don't think identification or affinity with a gender category can replicate that.