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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Is this contractor’s behaviour appropriate for primary schools?

19 replies

NuthatchesAndWoodpeckers · 11/06/2026 12:19

Organisation goes into primary schools teaching music and songwriting. I think this is great, as music is diminishing in schools.

However, one of the leaders identifies as non-binary, male name, wears rainbow lanyard, and one of the bands he's created is, curiously enough, called The Rainbow Five and their recent song is called End of the Rainbow. Has been known to wear nail varnish and mascara.

He's very active on social media - personal not work - with hundreds of photos of himself in running gear but also semi-nude or PVC pants etc.

On his personal page he posted this last night. I feel this is inappropriate. It's not for an outside contractor music teacher to be having these sorts of chats especially as he's initiated this himself. Tied in with the overuse of rainbows it feels a bit off.

Would appreciate thoughts. Am I being over sensitive?

Is this contractor’s behaviour appropriate for primary schools?
OP posts:
GreyskySexRealistsky · 11/06/2026 12:25

Oh FGS. Another adult in an educational setting using kids for validation.

NuthatchesAndWoodpeckers · 11/06/2026 12:27

GreyskySexRealistsky · 11/06/2026 12:25

Oh FGS. Another adult in an educational setting using kids for validation.

That's what I thought but I also didn't want to just jump right in.

OP posts:
MrsOvertonsWindow · 11/06/2026 12:49

Adults in schools aren't there to seek validation from children - he has a professional role relating to music. He's not employed to teach any aspects of RSE / Health Ed nor to indulge himself in gaslighting children about gender ideology.

There are new national statutory guidelines for teaching RSE & Health Ed. They're lengthy as the issues are complex and are well worth reading. But they are very clear about issues relating to transgender / gender ideology (see page 36) and it's not something that random adults should be dabbling in. They're statutory - in other words they must be followed.

Extract: "In teaching this, schools should be mindful that beyond the facts and the law about biological sex and gender reassignment there is significant debate, and they should be careful not to endorse any particular view or teach it as fact. For example, they should not teach as fact that all people have a gender identity. Schools should avoid language and activities which repeat or enforce gender stereotypes. Schools should be mindful to avoid any suggestion that social transition is a simple solution to feelings of distress or discomfort"

There's also advice about the type of resources used with the direction that these "must not encourage pupils to question their gender"
"Schools should consult parents on the content of external resources on this topic in advance and make all materials available to them on request as set out in the section on openness with parents".

He's way out of line. He introduced the issue to the children and generated their questions. He's using his role inappropriately which makes him potentially dangerous. Even if he's been naive - it's not his role to discuss gender identity with 8 & 9 year old children.

Please do challenge this with the school.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6970e7e67e827090d02d42e0/Relationships_education_relationships_and_sex_education__RSE__and_health_education__for_intro_1_September_2026_.pdf

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6970e7e67e827090d02d42e0/Relationships_education_relationships_and_sex_education__RSE__and_health_education__for_intro_1_September_2026_.pdf

HappilyHarriet · 11/06/2026 14:19

The FB pics profile alone are safeguarding red flag. Screenshot and forward to schools’ safeguarding leads for them to deal with.

BatFinkk · 11/06/2026 14:32

I’d be reporting the shit out of him.

honestly, the wailing and moaning these people do - but they can’t help themselves can they? Straight people / gay people manage to teach and not feel the need to push this rhetoric … why can’t non binary / trans people do the same? They can’t. Always wanting to ‘educate’ and ‘share their journeys’

Imdunfer · 11/06/2026 14:39

Entirely inappropriate.

It's very easy for a manipulative adult to get children of that age to ask the questions they want them to ask. The inclusion of "girls" in his opening remarks was unnecessary and should not have been said. It created the rest of the discussion that he wanted to have. I would report him.

NuthatchesAndWoodpeckers · 11/06/2026 15:26

Thank you. I have emailed the head.

OP posts:
GreyskySexRealistsky · 11/06/2026 15:55

I find the expression "if kids can understand it, why can't adults" so worrying. People have said that for years, it's not just this guy.

Kids don't understand it. They have no grasp of the implications. They see the basics and they repeat what they've heard from others. It's not a full and proper understanding - how can it be? They're kids!

mrshoho · 11/06/2026 16:12

One word; BOUNDARIES!!!

That is completely unprofessional if either a) It actually happened or b) it's an imaginary scenario he's created in his head.

Report.

teawamutu · 11/06/2026 16:13

NuthatchesAndWoodpeckers · 11/06/2026 15:26

Thank you. I have emailed the head.

With the screenshots? Well done. And keep an eye on his pages. I predict either weeping and wailing about nasty bigots or a sudden scrubbing.

If he's encouraging the kids to keep secrets from their parents, should the safeguarding team be involved?

RNApolymerase · 11/06/2026 16:20

You said - he's very active on social media with photos of running gear or PVC pants - is that under a name the children would know? If they look him up will these pictures appear?

NuthatchesAndWoodpeckers · 11/06/2026 16:24

RNApolymerase · 11/06/2026 16:20

You said - he's very active on social media with photos of running gear or PVC pants - is that under a name the children would know? If they look him up will these pictures appear?

The socials are totally open and under the name they use as a teacher. The running ones are totally fine, they do marathons etc. but then there are others which are ones I wouldn't want my kids to see of a teacher.

OP posts:
NuthatchesAndWoodpeckers · 11/06/2026 16:26

mrshoho · 11/06/2026 16:12

One word; BOUNDARIES!!!

That is completely unprofessional if either a) It actually happened or b) it's an imaginary scenario he's created in his head.

Report.

Must admit it reads as if it could be totally made up. But either way, it's not on.

OP posts:
Cordeliasdemonbabies · 12/06/2026 12:45

Yes it definitely reads as andtheneverybodyclapped but it's seriously inappropriate in any case.

Have you had a response from the Head?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/06/2026 12:56

GreyskySexRealistsky · 11/06/2026 15:55

I find the expression "if kids can understand it, why can't adults" so worrying. People have said that for years, it's not just this guy.

Kids don't understand it. They have no grasp of the implications. They see the basics and they repeat what they've heard from others. It's not a full and proper understanding - how can it be? They're kids!

Exactly.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 12/06/2026 13:07

Is the organisation part of the local authority's music service to schools? I'd report to them as well.

InveterateBigot · 12/06/2026 13:13

NuthatchesAndWoodpeckers · 11/06/2026 16:26

Must admit it reads as if it could be totally made up. But either way, it's not on.

And what has any of it to do with music?

It's got that putting themselves into situations they would hope to benefit from smell about it. Again.

deedeemegadoodoo · 14/06/2026 08:52

NuthatchesAndWoodpeckers · 11/06/2026 16:24

The socials are totally open and under the name they use as a teacher. The running ones are totally fine, they do marathons etc. but then there are others which are ones I wouldn't want my kids to see of a teacher.

I’m a teacher and it’s our policy (and most schools) that we have to have any social media accounts set to private and we are not to bring the school into disrepute with anything we are posting.

SapphireSeptember · 15/06/2026 10:37

What is it with these men? Just wear nail polish and mascara or don't, you're still a bloke. Ville Valo (among others) was doing this shit 25 years ago and wasn't making an arse of himself.

But yes, majorly inappropriate. I'd be kicking off about this too.

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