Gender Critical guy - How can I help the cause?

[MyShyCat]

Hoping that the amazing women of Mumsnet can help me. I am firmly in the Gender Critical camp. I peaked many years ago after the birth of my daughter. I simply got to the point where I couldn't ignore the craziness that we were all being expected to accept. Amazing women on Youtube like Magdalen Berns, Posie Parker, Helen Joyce, Jo Bartosch, Arielle Scarcella and Kathleen Stock were able to perfectly articulate all the thoughts that were flying around my head.

Like many of us I have watched with horror as bit by bit the rights of women and girls have been systematically dismantled. There have undoubtedly been successes on our journey back to reality but Sall Grover's defeat the other day has really made me wobble.

My problem is I not sure what to do to help the cause. I feel like I should be more vocal or active - not exactly Bill Board Chris levels of "being out there" but I think I need to actually be a bit braver and make my voice heard.

If anyone has any suggestions as to how a 53 year-old father of a teenage girl can take a more active role in this fight, then I would love to hear more.

I'm not sure I can just carry on watching youtube clips and tutting anymore! All suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I WOULD RATHER BE RUDE THAN A "F**KING LIAR."

OP, are you a member of any teachers union? If so could you think about standing for election for a union post or joining some committees.

Unless of course she's a lesbian (as opposed to queer or pan or furry or enby or whatever else gender related), or has friends or relatives who are lesbian, who want to be allowed to be openly homosexual in peace without harrassment to 'learn to cope' with sex with men who identify as lesbians and feel entitled to those women's bodies and service.

Be allowed to go to lesbian clubs that aren't full of men harassing, be allowed to talk about homosexuality without being denied access to Pride and screamed at and threatened by unhinged activists, not have to deal with some idiot activist in her face demanding is her lesbianism inclusive (of men and penises) as is her social duty, calling her a sexual racist for being gay, or demanding to know when she'll go on a date/have sex with him because she has to learn to not 'resist the penis' (to quote a well known article written by a man who self defined as a lesbian and was livid with these bloody homosexual women who wouldn't get their knickers off.)

There is no group more bigoted or homophobic than transactivism, and LGBT+ whatever does not mean 'gender ideology compliant'. Many LGB people want absolutely nothing to do with this mad movement and have come to loathe the sight of the rainbow flags and lanyards.

@TransParentlyAnnoyedI hate to break your entirely made up statistics, but I’ve never been sexually assaulted. And I know far more women who haven’t than have.

Good to have you on board. In addition to the helpful suggestions above are you aware that women speaking out in the workplace seem to face much harsher reactions than men? It would be great if you could keep speaking up in meetings, training and discussions to express concerns and remind people of the law. The more voices on this the more likely are daughters will be safe.
most important for your daughter is to tell her that her rights and boundaries matter and it is not unkind to maintain those boundaries. Also stick to referring to people by their biology as it makes the truth of what is happening in any situation much more obvious.

Look at your internalised attitudes mate.

wnats the relevance of you being a man? Do you not have the ability to google? Do you think people will pay you more attention or something if you campaign because behold a man?

I'd agree with all these and add - write to your mp - repeatedly.

It's really important that men get involved in this and don't just think it's a women's thing. The more voices, the better.

Of course people pay more attention to men! This has always been a problem. We might wish it wasn’t true but it is. While we work on the problem of getting people to listen to women we may as well take advantage of the male voices speaking up in support of us.

'Transwomen' think women are a costume they can wear. They do not like or respect women. Women are adult human females. No man can be a woman.

What bollox. All the accusations you make against so called cis men are exactly as relevant to men with trans identities. Everything you do to support women and girls is useless if you don’t excluded trans identified men and boys from the women and girls category.

Make women’s prisons safer? Get men with trans identities out of them.
Make women’s sports more inclusive? Get men with trans identities out of them.
Improve women’s healthcare? Focus on and treat women’s health without including men’s health.

It’s so obvious, but you choose not to see because it’s inconvenient to you. Well guess what, I have trans ID’d family members too, and they’d be a whole lot safer without people like you pushing trans ideology.

Tatzoy is a lovely long term poster here

you must know mumsnet is reputed to be a next of vipers and FWR the vipiest of it all!!

the emails to the gym sound a very good practical action

Well ain’t you the lucky one?

After discussing with a group of women of whom quite a few said they hadn’t been sexually assaulted, it became clear that the meaning of the phrase is rather a grey area.

A lot of them thought sexual assault just meant rape, when in fact it covers a multitude of actions (and once that was cleared up, it was a case of “I had that one boyfriend who forced me to do….”there was a guy in the pub who…” “there was that time when I was in a club and that guy” etc etc)

I thought exactly the same. She’s not being told about the reality of other people’s experience. So many women deny their reality of being regularly groped.

I can assure you I am female.

Why do women have to do the work for you? can’t you figure it out for yourself?

I’m a survivor of a rape so violent that the police categorised it as attempted murder. I can’t describe it on here as it’s deleted on the grounds that it’s too upsetting for others to read. He raped me vaginally, orally and attempted to anally rape me. He also assaulted me. And did other things that, as I said, I can’t describe.

Your entitlement is showing.

Do your own leg work. Women arent support humans.

@MyShyCat You have twice been rude to respected FWR women on this thread. Please stop posting and re-read the thread.

you need to make male spaces welcoming to transwomen

eg- sticker in men's toilets- 'transwomen welcome here' 'transwomen safe here'

talk with other MEN about how to do this

obviously challenge misogyny in any form from other men

engage with all the men who think the correct opinion is TWAW etc, create the space for them to really think about what that means- not just to women but to gay boys and men

Interesting idea but I do wonder how possible it is to make Male Toilets attractive to Trans Women when actually the"attractive" bit for Trans women is simpy to inhabit women only spaces.

Thank-you everyone for all of the really useful ideas.

This is why I plucked up the courage to knock on the door of what someone described earlier as "a pit of vipers."

You have all been really kind with your time and not at all as scary as I thought you might be.

There just aren't any groups like this for blokes. Please do let me know if you hear of any Gender Critical, motorbike riding, rock-climbing, wine-drinking, father-of-daughters groups in the South West.

Did you not like me pointing out that you didn't really care until you had a daughter, even though you said it yourself?

"...after the birth of my daughter. I simply got to the point where I couldn't ignore the craziness..."

If you just want praise for joining in, then you still don't really get it. That's fine, we all had to reach the peak, but maybe don't act otherwise.

the point is that TWAM and really this is a problem for men to solve

why do some men feel that they aren't men?
why do some men feel it would be dangerous for them to go in a men's toilet?
why is it still possible for a boy to think
'I don't fancy girls so I must be one'
what about the boys who think
'I don't want to be like THAT so...I'd be better off as a girl'
'I don't like football or cars or fighting so...I must be a girl'

these are ALL men's problems for men to solve- we can't help you with that OP

“The 'gender critical' movement is founded on hollow, elitist fantasies of saviourism.”

…or just biological, scientific, factual, reality? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Op - ignore the zealots. Well done championing this cause for your dd. Better late than never. Even if you talk about it and give people the facts, it helps. The silent majority of normal
people are GC anyway, it just augments the solidarity when you think the world has gone mad (like the comment I’ve quoted - people want to believe it so much they lose all grip on reality).

Thanks for checking in.

Misogny is built on the premise that women are not as valuable as men in society. this thought has been super-boosted by all cultures that have a dominant Abrahamic relgion.

Women have internalised misogyny that prevents them for standing for their rights which is part of the reason that we are in this situation in the first place. A lot of women are over-sympathising with mens feelings and have therefore been tolerating the erosiion of their boundaires.

As a male you are in a difficult situation because you might not even be aware of your level sexim/misogyny. You are simply seeing this as a problem to fix, rather than understanding and empathising with why it is so important. Another poster noted that you only became aware of this issue when your daughter was born, but didn't even think about it when it affected all the other women in your life. I would start there- why didn't you see it as an issue until then?

If you just jump in without any reflection on how you have particiapated and contributed in the culture, you will be smoked out as a disingenous man and be sidelined and may become resentful. Males have not been socially conditioned to sit and listen to women, they have socially conditioned to save them. This makes it hard for men to work with women on social issues because it just causes more conflict.

Even though she caused all the current problems in Australia the Julia Guillard Misogny speech is a good place to start... it outlines the relentless day-to-day misogny that women have face, some TED talks about masuclinity and how it affects women are also good places to start. All are linked below.

Interesting response. My point is that the OP only wants to partcipate as the "hero" and anyone familiar with the drama triangle will no that it is is the "heros" that actually cause the issues.

This isn't an issue that some "practical tips" will help. It will take so really brave males to take the time to understand the female perspective for it to come to a resolution - and that starts with tackling your own biases. Any person who is an activist on behalf of someone else are only engaging on a superficial level in order to get the satisfaction of feeling like they have done something they cause problems down the line... this is exactly what has happended with trans rights.

Trans people simply wanted to exist in society the same as everyone else. They wanted to not be discriminated at work, housing etc and to have access to high quality medical care if they wished to transition. Then the gay rights organisations decided to fight on their behalf but were projecting their own issues onto trans people. Unfortunately there is a high level of misogny in gay male culture so the guardrails weren't put up. Then transvestities co-opted the cause and because it was all men together they didn't value protecting women.

"trans people simply wanted to exist in society"

did they tho? a lot of older male transvestites are mad at the modern trans movement because it highlighted things like how they were using women's single sex spaces.