How do we address men’s violence against women as an epidemic?

[AnnaQuayRules]

It's not all men but it's always men and I'm fucking sick of it.

Yet another woman murdered by her ex who blew her (and himself) up with an explosive device.

I don't know what my point is really, just that I feel so sick and angry about this. The poor woman phoned 999 and, to be fair, it seems the police were on site within 5 minutes but he'd already killed her by then.

This is an epidemic but how do we address it?

I have no idea, but I think we can agree that they shouldn't have died.

I saw this article this morning.

"While no single factor can fully explain a city's declining homicide rate, officials assert that the Oakland Ceasefire-Lifeline program has been pivotal, making a tangible difference one person at a time.

Homicide rates have seen a significant decline in major US cities recently, but Oakland's reduction has been particularly striking. The city of approximately 400,000 people has not recorded such low homicide rates since 1967, a year marked by the powerful presence of the Black Panthers and the Summer of Love in nearby San Francisco."

https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/crime/oakland-murder-homicide-rate-lowest-b2967001.html

It makes sense to offer support for non-violence. The program seems to lower violence rates but I wish they would have statistics for those who enter the program vs those who don't.

AI summary of the program
Key Components of the Strategy
Targeted Outreach: City officials analyse data weekly to identify individuals most likely to be involved in gun violence.

Lifeline Coaches: "Life Coaches" provide intensive, personalised support, connecting clients to resources such as job training, housing assistance, and education.

Call-Ins/Custom Notifications: A combination of community members (clergy, survivors) and police meet with high-risk individuals to deliver a "message of hope" and support, alongside a clear message about the consequences of continued violence.

Partnership: The program involves a coalition of the Oakland Police Department, the Department of Violence Prevention (DVP), community-based organisations, and community leaders.

Results and Impact
Homicide Reduction: After being revitalised in 2024, the program helped reduce homicides from 118 in 2023 to 78 in 2024, falling further to 57 in 2025—a six-decade low.

Long-Term Success: Evaluation of the 2012–2017 program showed that 32% of a 43% reduction in homicides was directly attributed to this strategy.

Ongoing Success (2026): As of early May 2026, the strategy continues to show effectiveness, with homicides and shootings remaining at historic lows following a reinvigoration of the program in 2024.

The program focuses heavily on offering help before resorting to law enforcement intervention.
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I think London has a similar program
https://www.london.gov.uk/programmes-strategies/communities-and-social-justice/londons-violence-reduction-unit-vru

I think Glasgow had a similar program. https://www.cirv.co.uk

With domestic abuse specifically, one of the main issues is the majority of focus and funding is on short term measures - refuges and the police. Quality of and access to help is also very postcode dependent.

Particularly problematic is post separation abuse. It's too often dismissed or ignored. We hear the statistic, that it takes a woman on average 7 attempts to leave. This is directly linked to the barriers they face accessing post separation housing, financial help, and better support with family court.

Many women leave their ex but not the abuse. They face years of post separation abuse via family court and/or housing/economically.

I know one woman who approached her local authority for housing after refuge. She was told to go to a refuge...

Another woman's ex was arrested and removed from the home. But she ended up struggling to afford it herself and nearly ended up homeless. Her local authority didn't want to help citing she was no longer fleeing domestic abuse. She managed to find a solicitor through her local DA service but access to that help is pot luck. Some women are left without, and even if they can find a solicitor, they then face barriers to obtaining legal aid.

Additionally, some women are housed a long way away from their jobs, support network, childrens schools, and family and friends - and often in 'hard to let' areas/housing with high rates of drug and violence issues. Some women do need to move away due to the risk from their ex. Many, however, don't although might need a different part of their county/city/town. They're moved away purely because their housing need is seen as a financial burden by their LA.

So we have a situation where vulnerable traumatised women are isolated in 'problem' areas and constantly in the same state of hypervigilance as during the domestic abuse. Then they're written off as "mentally ill" or in desperation return to their abusive exes.

Unless and until the issues in this post and my above post are acknowledged and addressed, domestic abuse will continue to destroy many lives.

Nicer detention centres that provide
-therapy as most offenders have a history of being victims of abuse themselves,
-careers training and day releases/halfway houses so they are released into a do crime or starve on the streets when they finish their sentence. Crime peaks in the autumn because homeless know if they get a custodial sentence they get ´3 hots and a cot’ (3 meals and a warm bed) so likely to survive the winter.
-I think too they should be moved to another part of the country so they have a chance at starting fresh and so their victims don’t ever have to see them again. (Why should a victim have to move and leave their job, their friends?)

Yes I agree. The problem is violence in all forms against everyone. I think too that some violent men start on animals before moving up to humans so we need to take animal cruelty more seriously and intervene at that point with the aim t9 prevent violence escalating to children, women, or other men.

In my post at 10:32 I meant to say they are not released into a do crime or..

with respect: bore off with your tripe

this thread is specifically about male violence against women.

There are at least 3 "but women do it too" or "but men hurt men too" derailers.

If you care so much about it, start a separate conversation, i have a lot of thoughts on that subject.

But right now we are talking about male violence against women.

What i would like to see: more funds to police to focus specifically on this.
more funds for support for women leaving violent or abusive relationships

The default position that the man moves away - if that makes it difficult because of his job and support network? Tough.

Femicide to be an actual crime, with enhanced sentencing.

Currently in Germany there is debate because if a man murders a woman he was (or had been) in a relationship with, because he was jealous his crime is no longer murder but accidental death. And his sentence will be less because "jealousy altered his mental state"

Dearest angry herring,
I have been on the thread since the start and it is about *men’s violence against women as an epidemic and *This is an epidemic but how do we address it?

When we look at violence from a epidemiological perspective and take into account the numerous epidemiological studies done on violence we indeed do have to widen our lens in order to understand the root causes of men’s violence against women.

My posts are not a derailment, because we cannot address violence of men against women without considering violence as a whole and how it acts similarly to an infectious disease within the entire human population. The use of ‘epidemic’ is not just meant to highlight seriousness of the issue, it is also a very real comparison to any lethal disease like the bubonic plague. I would recommend you read some of the studies I have linked upthread which have fascinating research into violence, the vectors of transmission, and how it can persist intergenerationally.

What i would like to see: more funds to police to focus specifically on this.
So you are advocating reaction instead of prevention of violence. Very interesting take.

Whereas my post on let’s pay attention to animal cruelty because boys and men that go on to abuse girls and women usually start with animals is about prevention of violence against women because that teen boy that tortures neighbourhood cats or is seen air gunning rats is already starting to be violent.

It isn’t a derailment to suggest ways to prevent violence against women.

The default position that the man moves away - if that makes it difficult because of his job and support network? Tough.

Odd sounds just like what I wrote and you called a derailment:
‘-I think too they should be moved to another part of the country so they have a chance at starting fresh and so their victims don’t ever have to see them again. (Why should a victim have to move and leave their job, their friends?)’

Currently in Germany there is debate because if a man murders a woman he was (or had been) in a relationship with, because he was jealous his crime is no longer murder but accidental death. And his sentence will be less because "jealousy altered his mental state"

Source? Because that doesn’t sound very plausible.

I was thinking about this the othet other day.

I was thinking:

Why WOULDN'T men rape and hit women. Men are physically stronger than women. They can hurt and rape women, so they will.

They are not going to stop.

It is the same in the animal kingdom. The bigger animals hurt the smaller animals.

What we could do: is have more islands that are female only, where women can go for a female only holiday. I would like that.

Interesting thread that highlights how it starts young in boys.

Am I alone in thinking that this is a red flag and immediate action by parents is potentially key to preventing this boy growing up to be a 27yr old man murdering his 22yr old girlfriend?
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amibeingunreasonable/5528008-to-think-7yo-deliberately-hurting-2yo-is-not-normal

It is all inter-related imho.
We can prune the tree of adult male violence all day and get nowhere unless we tackle the roots of it.

I try to look at it from the male point of view, to look for answers. We cant just look at it from the female point of vire.

Answer this:

If he could get away with it, why wouldnt a man rape. He wants sex, it feels good, he can physically overpower a woman. He is not going to care how she feels.

Because it's wrong?

But why would the man in that scenario, care that it is wrong to the woman? like it doesn't hurt him in any way.

Nothing bad at all happens to the man in rape.

He gets what he wants. He is satisfied. He has no pain from it.

This is why there is so much rape.

This is what we are looking at, when trying to deal with this.

@SpiritAdder go away with your comments. You have NO IDEA about me and what i do about this issue.

You were very keen to make it about violence against people - diluting the message that we are talking about what the police have acknowledged is AN EPIDEMIC of MALE violence against WOMEN.

That is a bit naive.

Has "because it's wrong" ever stopped rapists, abusers, domestic abusers in the past?

No. They can do it and they will.

I personally would like more female only spaces.

Inevitable.

Absolutely anything but address the issue naming the demographic who are overwhelmingly responsible: this being men.

It's every thread on which these issues are raised. Every single one.

What annoys me though is there are loads of threads like this, but women never seem to come together cohesively as a group to actually implement actions and changes in the country.

There is an epidemic of violence and rape against women. The men are not going to change it as they either dont see it, or it doesnt affect them.

What can WE as women do to change it?

This situation does not call for a balanced perspective, because there is no balance.

The disproportionate number of violent offenders, including those who perpetrate VAWG, are men.

Yes we all know that. Everyone knows that.

So what are we going to do about it?

Male violence is nothing new. If we want to address it, we need to be able to acknowledge it and direct policy direct for it. The problem is that targeted policy and law easily falls into discrimination under today’s definition.

We finally are starting to recognize the problem’s in male behavior. We have also made great strides in equality. Those two things independently are great. Put together, we have conflict.

we could have common sense policy like restricting unattended access by male staff to vulnerable women in hospitals and care homes. We know women are sexually abused in these scenarios. This is discrimination though.

Ultimately, I think we just need to do a better job of raising our sons. So many parents think aggression is a part of being male.