Company wide Teams call, one of the presenters had a very sexual picture, think Jessica rabbit style, inappropriate for work; starts speaking, all becomes clear...

[AstonsGerbil]

So, will have to change some details so that it's not completely outing.

Someone I know closely was in a Teams call recently, a big company wide one, works for a big UK company, private company, very well known.

Slides to be presented in the call include pictures of the presenters and one of the pictures is extremely sexual: of pretty much a bombshell of a woman, Jessica Rabbit type, completely inappropriate in a working environment and especially inappropriate as the picture chosen for a business presentation.

Person I know thinks, hmm that's not right, why has no one pulled her up about this? Highly inappropriate to use this picture.

Then...this presenter comes on the screen to talk, it all becomes clear, extremely deep male voice and despite the Teams filters on their IRL video, it's obviously a male person. Their name as well is fairly obviously like a porn star name. Think like a 'Chantelle' or 'Chastity' type name.

But we get told on this board over and over again it's not a sexual fetish, no no, it's not, uh uh, they are just 'being true to themselves'.

Just to be clear, if an actual woman did this she'd be told to change the avatar and tone it down. 100%. Ugh. Indulging this at the highest level of this company is so gross.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll get all the usual suspects coming out to tell me I'm being a big old meanie blah blah blah but tbh, I'm just glad I don't work there. Total ick.

My male colleague in his 50s turned up at work dressed as little bo peep about 12 years ago. Grim, very grim.

So no I won't tell you that you are a big old meanie.

Ugh that's awful. Did he start using the women's toilets? Hopefully not but if so, how horrible for you and all the other women working there.

Does anyone remember that thread ages ago about that woman whose boss (it was a small business) hired someone like that who caused no end of problems? Jenny was it? It was one of the first threads I read on here and it was so creepy. I think the last update from the op was she was looking for a new job and at least three of her male colleagues had quit too.

Edited for spelling

YANBU My DH has a colleague (M) who turns up to work being "her true self" in the very dull civil service with a basque top, leather skirt , fish nets and high heels... You know what , most female civil servants turn up in for a day at the office.(Not) Oh and fake tit thingys. Ridiculous.

It’s definitely a fetish! No normal woman wakes up in the morning and thinks hmm red pvc thigh boots, fishnets and micro skirt this morning!

It absolutely is a fetish

I worked in a male-dominated, engineering type industry until a few years ago.

Without exception, all of the women wore practical clothing, trousers, flat shoes, etc. One day a male engineer in his early sixties turned up with a little clutch handbag, and wearing a short skirt, fishnets and very high stilettos, and began using a female name. That continued for about a year until one day he suddenly left.

Think I've heard of this person. Choker and top hat too, right?

No he didn't in the time I was there.

I remember him telling me that he'd had the go ahead for his op a year or so later and he said 'So I can be a proper girlie'. I replied 'yeah but without all the shit' before I even knew what I was saying. And he agreed with me.

He'd already left by then anyway. He is now in a role in another organisation that would usually appear on their publicity and he never is so that tells its own story.

Completely off topic (apologies OP), but this thread has been a reminder that it took me took me bloody ages to work out why Jessica Rabbit didn't look like a rabbit 🤣

Oh yes, the hyper ‘feminine’ hyper sexualised drag look, with the flouncy porny name.

but it’s not a fetish.

It's the fact that it was so blatantly inappropriate and nobody flagged it up. I do business presentations for my work and no way in hell would my boss or my boss's boss allow or approve a picture of me on the presentation that was like this one.

It's part of the fetish as well, so dragging everyone into it will be giving that person a sexual thrill. Ugh. It creeped out the person who told me (who is male) so I can imagine the women in that big meeting feeling worse. Yet senior leaders allowed it.

Also that civil servant one you mentioned @Pleasantsort2 , was that not on the news? I'm sure there was a thread about the corset wearing, leather collared civil servant. Your poor DH, but it will be worse for the women who need to work there.

Not sure if it's the same workplace, but I remember a woman getting pulled into HR for a "be kind" warning.

Because a trans-identified man reported her for leaving the women's toilets when he came in. He tried to engage her in a chat about lipstick and she left, so he was SAD. And reported her.

A bloke where I work came to a work party in a dress that had most of its front missing.

If he’d been a woman it would have been obscene. He’s left now, fortunately.

Sad Times, @StellaAndCrow !

Why will the senior blokes never speak out to these numpties about dress code and appropriate attire?

Just to be clear, if an actual woman did this she'd be told to change the avatar and tone it down. 100%. Ugh. Indulging this at the highest level of this company is so gross.

Agreed. In many cases, all we are asking for is these men to be required to adhere to the same standards and rules that are enforced in the rest of us. It is utterly divisive and cowardly of management to let him indulge himself without comment.

Maybe you could organise a company wide protest - everyone using a plain grey blank avatar for example so this garish image stands out further. Trouble is there will too many who support his behaviour.

@Mairseydotesanddoseydotes it sounds like it wasn't an avatar but an actual photo of the man

I feel like my TiM colleague missed some kind of memo about the fetish.

One Friday he sat the team down and 'came out' as trans 🙄

The following Monday he came into work dressed like a harried dinner lady.

I thought he might've been taking a gentle route in and would ramp up the fetish.

But he never did, just stuck with the sleep deprived school cook vibe. Okay.

Quite a few TiMs rock the frumpy look too, they are able to take absolutely ANY aspect of female life and sexualise it, even things like knitting and book clubs. I've read blog posts where these men extol how their frumpiness proves they are real women and proves they are not like those other men who dress inappropriately 🙄

Yes it was an actual photo of them, it was edited and "filtered" to look highly sexual. Sorry I shouldn't have said avatar. What I meant was a highly filtered and very sexualised photo that bore little resemblance to the person IRL (which was also filtered) and who was clearly male (voice and despite the filter on Teams, clearly male).

So wait...they actively make themselves look like Les Dawson's character? That's mad! Small comfort I suppose that it is a bit less sexualised than the leather corset civil servant bloke @Pleasantsort2 was talking about.

It must be a most excellent filter to enable a person with a likely hip to waist ratio of 1.1 to resemble Jessica Rabbit.

One can be amazed, and disgusted, by the aspects of being female that a lot of these men can sexualise. Having spent the last decade plus looking into the topic and reading what they say amongst themselves (i.e. reading articles, blog posts, social media posts, books, and forum posts), I've learned that the male sex drive can be very perverse and obsessive at times and that some men really do view women as mere objects.

I've read about men who fetishise & roleplay pregnancy and stillbirth, men who fetishise & roleplay menstruation, men who fetishise & roleplay female childhood, men who see anime and Barbie dolls as their ideal female form and try to emulate them, and men who fetishise & roleplay being a 'suburban mum'.

There's so much that I sometimes wish I didn't know but at the same time I'm glad I know it because information is power and knowing that these things exist makes women safer because they'll be able to see the warning signs.

Not sure he's been in the news or top hat. Other days he comes in dressed as a man . He's quite young - mid twenties with a dodgy mullet or wolf cut as it's called these days.

That’s the thing as well it’s either super slutty or twinset and pearls!! No women dress like that!! If you really wanted to be a chick you’d surely study how women dress and dress the same. Bonkers!

no way in hell would my boss or my boss's boss allow or approve a picture of me on the presentation that was like this one

I'd be soooooo tempted to put that to the test.

And that kids, is why I'm virtually unemployable.

Ah it can't be the same person then, I'm sure the one I read about in a news article was older, mid 50s or early 60s. Had influenced civil service policy in some way (hence the news article).