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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all

1000 replies

DeanElderberry · 22/02/2026 17:10

Opening soon in a salubrious location.

And thanks to the miraculous qualities, although we will indeed have

One-steps and two-steps and the divil knows what new steps
We know that we never would be dull again, bedad
We'll have wine, porter and lemonade.
We'll have cocktails and cocoa and all
We'll have champagnes tonight
But NO real pains next morning
Tonight when we dance at the Bluestocking Ball

slight apologies to Frank Harte

OP posts:
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140
MarieDeGournay · 03/03/2026 22:08

And something for my nightmares; don't know why but I've had a few nights of waking up thinking these horrible dreams are real. Please and thanks.

Sorry to hear that ,FranticFrankie, that sounds horrible. The Dream Gerbils are obviously not infallible, so they've brought in reinforcements: Harriet the Husky Rat, who is about as far from a nightmare as you can getSmile
I hope you have a better night tonight.

The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all
EdithStourton · 03/03/2026 22:18

ifIwerenotanandroid · 03/03/2026 18:30

Ah, but in the Bluestocking they're delicious AND calorie-free!

(The music stands must be left over from some previous AI pix.)

Now I REALLY want some Battenburg. But I am on Lent.

Android, I would love a Maud pattern, as I'm planning to make some squares. Your two look fabulous.

EdithStourton · 03/03/2026 22:20

Boiledbeetle · 03/03/2026 19:41

I've had her working hard at mine for all of February.

Now I'll just have to make my own cups of tea and feed the cats myself.

I'm not impressed. Can I borrow a gerbil (not Glenda) as a stand in for her?

Boily, you have made Glenda cry. She is sobbing in the kitchen saying that she needs not only rehab, but also therapy.

Gillian has told her to woman up and stop being so bloody pathetic, who cares what a beetle thinks, but Gosie is consoling her and passing tissues.

MyrtleLion · 03/03/2026 22:28

I will be knitting four squares with an initial each. Yarn arriving by the end of the week I hope. I am so excited that K&P is also excited by Maud's arrival.

My garden is nearly finished and my landscaper even repotted my Peace Lily for me.

I might post pictures tomorrow when it's done.

Boiledbeetle · 03/03/2026 22:33

EdithStourton · 03/03/2026 22:20

Boily, you have made Glenda cry. She is sobbing in the kitchen saying that she needs not only rehab, but also therapy.

Gillian has told her to woman up and stop being so bloody pathetic, who cares what a beetle thinks, but Gosie is consoling her and passing tissues.

She wouldn't be happy at mine unless she is prepared to use it as a dry house. Alcohol dry house that is! Not a drug dry house!

She's probably also starting to work out who persuaded Gertrude and Gosie to water down the Gerbil size gin bottles.

EdithStourton · 04/03/2026 09:46

Gosie got on the phone to GerbiLine last night, on Glenda's behalf. Maud offered to drop her off at their Rehab House on her way to K&P's.

Glenda, having agreed to all of this last night, is now maintaining that she doesn't need to go, she can sort this out herself.

Gillian, ever one for direct action, has locked Glenda in her room (having searched it thoroughly for bottles). Glenda is shouting through the door that she will 'do' Gillian for false imprisonment. Gosie is on the phone to Gerbiline again, to see if they can send a therapist round.

Breakfast service is still very delayed, due to all the gossiping in the kitchen. I asked for the hot chocolate bowser, and found that it was empty after Magpie's recent requirements. I sent it back half an hour ago, and it didn't re-appear with its usual alacrity.

Brains offered to go and give them a good talking to, and Colin volunteered himself as an assistant, and the mere threat of two stroppy dogs overseeing operations seems to have persuaded some of them to settle down and crack on.

Gillian has her feet up behind the bar, and is thoughtfully twirling Glenda's room key around on her finger, and now and then looks as if she's about to spin it off towards the bin. I'm not always sure that I like Gillian.

NB For those wondering, hot chocolate is not included in Edith's Lenten fast.

MyrtleLion · 04/03/2026 09:56

Good morning everyone!

I hope you all slept well.

I can see that Maud's departure has resulted in a little chaos.

Fortunately, Maud foresaw this and wrote a very polite letter to her cousin, Grünhilde who has arrived from Hamburg.

More precisely, from a small, impeccably organised gerbil household near the Alster canals, where everything runs according to a timetable pinned neatly to the wall. She had previously managed breakfast service in a Lutheran parish house, an operation involving fourteen elderly churchwardens, three samovars, and an industrial quantity of rye bread. Chaos holds no terrors for her.

When Maud wrote describing the Bluestocking, delicately mentioning “the occasional morning inefficiency among the gerbils”, Grünhilde understood immediately.

She arrived by train with:

  • a small leather satchel
  • a folded apron
  • a notebook labelled “Ordnung”
  • and a look that could organise breakfast from sheer willpower.

At 9:57am, after observing the current Bluestocking scene for precisely three minutes, Grünhilde clears her throat and says in a calm but immovable accent:

“First we align the cups.”

The gerbils obey instantly. They have no idea why.

Maud, meanwhile, is settling in at Knotty's, completely confident that the Bluestocking is now in extremely capable paws.

The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all
The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all
MarieDeGournay · 04/03/2026 09:57

All that's going on behind the scenes at the Bluey? I can almost hear the EastEnders dun dun dun dun dun....!😬
edited to add Thank heavens for Grünhilde Smile

Boiledbeetle · 04/03/2026 10:16

EdithStourton · 04/03/2026 09:46

Gosie got on the phone to GerbiLine last night, on Glenda's behalf. Maud offered to drop her off at their Rehab House on her way to K&P's.

Glenda, having agreed to all of this last night, is now maintaining that she doesn't need to go, she can sort this out herself.

Gillian, ever one for direct action, has locked Glenda in her room (having searched it thoroughly for bottles). Glenda is shouting through the door that she will 'do' Gillian for false imprisonment. Gosie is on the phone to Gerbiline again, to see if they can send a therapist round.

Breakfast service is still very delayed, due to all the gossiping in the kitchen. I asked for the hot chocolate bowser, and found that it was empty after Magpie's recent requirements. I sent it back half an hour ago, and it didn't re-appear with its usual alacrity.

Brains offered to go and give them a good talking to, and Colin volunteered himself as an assistant, and the mere threat of two stroppy dogs overseeing operations seems to have persuaded some of them to settle down and crack on.

Gillian has her feet up behind the bar, and is thoughtfully twirling Glenda's room key around on her finger, and now and then looks as if she's about to spin it off towards the bin. I'm not always sure that I like Gillian.

NB For those wondering, hot chocolate is not included in Edith's Lenten fast.

In their defence the gerbils are saying that you didn't tell them you were only observing lent outside of the Bluestocking. They claim they were just trying to help you stick to your fast.

That's their excuse and they are sticking to it.

Obviously this was conveyed to me in rather rushed and hushed tones as Grünhilde was closing in on their location!

I can hear Glenda banging on her room door. She's not happy is she!!

MyrtleLion · 04/03/2026 10:51

Boiledbeetle · 04/03/2026 10:16

In their defence the gerbils are saying that you didn't tell them you were only observing lent outside of the Bluestocking. They claim they were just trying to help you stick to your fast.

That's their excuse and they are sticking to it.

Obviously this was conveyed to me in rather rushed and hushed tones as Grünhilde was closing in on their location!

I can hear Glenda banging on her room door. She's not happy is she!!

When Grünhilde arrived and heard the situation summarised, somewhat breathlessly and with several gerbils talking at once, she paused, adjusted her spectacles, and said: “Glenda is staff, yes?”

A number of gerbils nodded. Grünhilde then looked at Gillian, still twirling the key. “Then we do not lock staff in rooms.”

The key was retrieved immediately. Glenda’s door was opened, and Grünhilde spoke to her directly, not loudly, not theatrically, just in the calm, immovable tone she uses when restoring structure.

The essentials were established:

  • Glenda had agreed the previous evening to speak to GerbiLine.
  • This morning she had changed her mind.
  • The kitchen had reacted… creatively.

Grünhilde’s solution was simple and extremely Germanic:

  1. No confinement.
  2. No shouting through doors.
  3. GerbiLine may still send someone if Glenda agrees to speak with them.
  4. Breakfast service resumes immediately.

Glenda, now out of the room and somewhat disarmed by the lack of drama, was directed to sit with a mug of tea while matters settled. Gillian was reassigned to bread slicing, which removed both her audience and her strategic position behind the bar.

Meanwhile the kitchen was reorganised with brisk efficiency:

  • the hot-chocolate bowser reappeared
  • the kettle resumed its rightful duties
  • gossip levels dropped to manageable murmurs

Grünhilde wrote one additional line in her ORDNUNG notebook:
“Staff disputes are not a breakfast activity.”

By the time Brains and Colin arrived ready to administer their “good talking to,” the Bluestocking was already running again, with mugs aligned, toast circulating, and the gerbils behaving like creatures who had just discovered that continental management has standards.

MyrtleLion · 04/03/2026 10:52

And here is my finished garden.

The pots and broom will be moved to the garage later.

The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all
The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all
FuzzyPuffling · 04/03/2026 11:33

Surely Glenda, like all the gerbils etc, is not staff but friend?

lcakethereforeIam · 04/03/2026 11:35

@MyrtleLion what a beautiful and tidy garden.

With all the drama this morning my tea and toast completely went cold. I was so distracted I completely forgot about them. I was just raising my hand to ask for a refresh when it appeared on my table. The cold food disappeared and a pretty vase of spring flowers materialised.

Grünhilde is amazing.

EdithStourton · 04/03/2026 12:16

The hot chocolate bowser materialised, complete with the whipped cream attachment, at 10.01. Many thanks to Grünhilde.

Grünhilde has a sister, Gerlinde, who was overseeing your workmen, Myrtle (apart from that morning of the unfortunate delivery, when she had an appointment with a chiropractor). She arrived at the Bluestocking at 10.30 prompt (having allowed time for a final check of the new paving).

Gillian had a strop at the arrival of yet another overseer, threw the breadknife across the kitchen (narrowly missing Glenda, nursing her second cup of tea and reading a GerbiLine pamphlet) and stormed out, shouting that it's always the drama queen attention seekers like bloody Glenda who get made cups of tea and given lots of positive attention. (Gillian is not very good at self-reflection.)

Grünhilde despatched Gerlinde in hot pursuit, and from my window seat I can see what looks like a bit of a barny going on under a tree at the base of Peak Woo. I think Gillian just told Gerlinde to 'naff off'. Gerlinde seems to be consulting Google Translate. The Gerbil Gymnasium in Hamburg had an excellent English programme, but didn't cover slang and swearing.

The younger bar staff all came to stand on the windowsill to watch (and opened the window so that they could listen) and were squeaking excitedly. They have just been briskly shepherded back to work by Brains, who has installed herself as Grünhilde's henchman henchwoman henchhound. Not that Grünhilde has noticed yet. She's too busy getting lunch service sorted out.

This is the most exciting morning in the Bluey for a long time.

lcakethereforeIam · 04/03/2026 12:18

I brought a book, it's completely unread. I managed to spread mustard on my toast instead of butter.

Boiledbeetle · 04/03/2026 12:24

EdithStourton · 04/03/2026 12:16

The hot chocolate bowser materialised, complete with the whipped cream attachment, at 10.01. Many thanks to Grünhilde.

Grünhilde has a sister, Gerlinde, who was overseeing your workmen, Myrtle (apart from that morning of the unfortunate delivery, when she had an appointment with a chiropractor). She arrived at the Bluestocking at 10.30 prompt (having allowed time for a final check of the new paving).

Gillian had a strop at the arrival of yet another overseer, threw the breadknife across the kitchen (narrowly missing Glenda, nursing her second cup of tea and reading a GerbiLine pamphlet) and stormed out, shouting that it's always the drama queen attention seekers like bloody Glenda who get made cups of tea and given lots of positive attention. (Gillian is not very good at self-reflection.)

Grünhilde despatched Gerlinde in hot pursuit, and from my window seat I can see what looks like a bit of a barny going on under a tree at the base of Peak Woo. I think Gillian just told Gerlinde to 'naff off'. Gerlinde seems to be consulting Google Translate. The Gerbil Gymnasium in Hamburg had an excellent English programme, but didn't cover slang and swearing.

The younger bar staff all came to stand on the windowsill to watch (and opened the window so that they could listen) and were squeaking excitedly. They have just been briskly shepherded back to work by Brains, who has installed herself as Grünhilde's henchman henchwoman henchhound. Not that Grünhilde has noticed yet. She's too busy getting lunch service sorted out.

This is the most exciting morning in the Bluey for a long time.

I do love a bit of drama from the gerbils!

The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all
FuzzyPuffling · 04/03/2026 12:25

May I look after Gillian for a while? I think she might need a bit of one to one support.

EdithStourton · 04/03/2026 12:29

I've got through half a dozen hot chocolates just watching, Cake. I need the loo but I don't want to miss anything!

Gillian (she's stroppy, isn't she? Boily?) has just stormed off up Peak Woo having told Gerlinde that she 'can stuff it where the sun don't shine!' (more use of Google Translate, followed by a shocked squeak). Glenda is on the phone to GerbiLine with Gosie once again passing tissues.

And Brains has just been kicked out of the kitchen by the combined force of Grünhilde and Gerlinde, on the grounds that 'dogs are most unhygienic'. She is now sulking under my table, having pushed Batshit out of the warm spot, and is muttering loudly about ingratitude.

EdithStourton · 04/03/2026 12:30

Gerlinde says that you are welcome to Gillian for as long as you want her, Fuzzy, but you'll have to go and get her.

She has never before been spoken to like that, apparently.

Boiledbeetle · 04/03/2026 12:31

FuzzyPuffling · 04/03/2026 12:25

May I look after Gillian for a while? I think she might need a bit of one to one support.

Gillian is agreeable to your suggestion.

She's still muttering under her breath though at how unfair gerbil life is at times.

I see you've already managed to get her to give up sharp objects.

The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all
Igneococcus · 04/03/2026 12:33

My SiL is called Gerlinde, gerbil Gerlinde reminds me a lot of her. My children call her Auntie Grrrrrrrrrrrrlinde.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 04/03/2026 12:33

lcakethereforeIam · 04/03/2026 12:18

I brought a book, it's completely unread. I managed to spread mustard on my toast instead of butter.

At least you didn't spread it on the book. I'd take that as a win.

EdithStourton · 04/03/2026 12:36

Igneococcus · 04/03/2026 12:33

My SiL is called Gerlinde, gerbil Gerlinde reminds me a lot of her. My children call her Auntie Grrrrrrrrrrrrlinde.

Where is the laugh reaction when you need it?

Colin, whose nationalist fervour was woken by the arrival of some fellow-Germans, has been disappointed by them (he was kicked out of the kitchen too) and has retired to his basket, wearing a tartan coat as a form of protest.

Good luck with Gillian, Fuzzy. Maybe she needs GerbiLine as well.

lcakethereforeIam · 04/03/2026 12:38

I did completely miss my mouth and got mustard all over my cheek. Not in my eye though. I'll also take that as a win.

Boiledbeetle · 04/03/2026 12:39

@MyrtleLion you might have to get Gerlinde's sign off sheet translated from gerbil German to human English.

The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all
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