The rumours are true...
They were aiming for “small snowy town near Bluestocking’s house.”
They got “granite presidents”.
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What they’re doing:
1 Assessing structural integrity
Three gerbils are standing at the base, staring up at Washington’s nose with clipboards. One has decided the cake would look “balanced” on Lincoln’s shoulder. No one has considered gravity.
2 Attempting a rebrand
A particularly ambitious gerbil is sketching “Mount Rushmore & One Bluestockinger” in a notebook. The plan involves adding a fifth carving holding a book and a teacup. They believe this is “temporary.”
3 Snow engineering experiments
Two are building a tiny snow-ramp, convinced they can sled the cake up the mountain. They have calculated nothing. They are enthusiastic.
4 Presidential diplomacy
One gerbil in a scarf is saluting the sculptures and delivering a speech about international cake relations. It is extremely moving. No one is listening.
5 Cake preservation strategy
The cake is currently stored in a hollowed snowbank labelled “Emergency Frosting Stabilisation Unit.” It’s working surprisingly well.
They will eventually realise the Bluestocking is only three steps from her own front door.
But first, there will be rope. And optimism. And a deeply unnecessary pulley system.