The Bluestocking, where the cheese is plentiful and the Champagne is on Boiledbeetle

[Magpiecomplex]

Welcome one and all. Quick précis - women's pub, rodent staff, apparently we're sane.

There is a lot to say as he worked for me for four years. He and his wife both came to my wedding and he was very proud of his children.

I have a quotation I want to send as well which I regularly used in funeral ceremonies. So I think a card with a letter inside might be best.

Thank you Cake, I feel thoroughly informed now - especially about the boiled fairy - I take it that if you immerse it in water it will spring back into life as a fully functioning fairy?
I love the way bovines look at you by just turning their head,* not their whole body - I think it makes them look a tad confrontative, like they can't be bothered to turn to address you so they just look at you and go 'Wot dju wont?'

If the bovine is a bull and it looks as if it's say 'Wot u lookin a'? it's probably best to make your excuses and leave
*Although I'm a townie, I do know they have more legs than us and turning around is harder for them.

edited to say townie by birth, childhood in rural village, so I can be both!

I take it that if you immerse it in water it will spring back into life as a fully functioning fairy?

That's the premise I'm working from.

@MyrtleLion as death is always with us I think, when it touches us closely, it is difficult to find the words that don't risk sounding hackneyed we just do our best. She'll know he mattered, and he's missed, that other people cared too.

I agree but it's not about not having the words. I do have them. It's about not sitting down and writing them. Some form of procrastination...

I am glad that there is some positive progress, @Hedgehogforshort - you and the whole family are in my thoughts.

Ds2 and his fiancée are on their way back to Australia - it’s been so lovely seeing them over Christmas, and we are really going to miss them. Ds3 is away for the week, for work, so it will just be me and dh at home, until next weekend, when BIL and his wife are coming for a few days visit. It will be good to see them, but I am glad we are going to have a very quiet week before they get here - what with all the stress of getting FIL into the care home, then his death and the funeral, and then Christmas, I am all peopled out.

Sorry to hear about your neighbour, @ErrolTheDragon - even when a loss is expected, like FIL’s death, it is still a shock.

There can often be subliminal messages hidden in the posts on this thread. I've been out shopping this morning and found myself buying mince, although it wasn't on my list. I already have tatties and veg, plus the all-important ingredient (HP sauce !) so I know what this evening's meal will be.

It's good to get back to simple food after the excesses of Christmas. I often wonder how I survived without encountering a Goji Berry or Kimchi for the majority of my life 😁

That sounds like an excellent solution.

Have been to the dentist for check-up.

He asked permission to x-ray my molars...

"Oh," I thought.

"No decay," he declared. "You have an impacted wisdom tooth."

"I know. I was told when I was 20..."

"May I do another x-ray?"

"Yes..."

"Okay. You need to look at this..."

Fully grown wisdom tooth, almost completely horizontal, pointing towards the back of my head. Has started to erupt...

I'm nearly 66, for crying out loud. Dentist can't remove it - needs to be a hospital job. Grrr. Apparently, it definitely needs to come out. "I can see a spot of decay. Not your fault - there's no way that you can brush it. It needs to come out before it causes problems."

A small embuggerance in the scheme of things. I'd be quicker getting it done privately, but if it needs a general the local private hospital can't provide overnight accommodation for people who live alone, so the NHS is the better option. (The closest private hospital would be Edinburgh, and that would cost an arm and a leg. My Patient Plan insurance only covers treatment at my surgery.)

Hmm. Were did I put that chisel?

Oh @WearyAuldWumman that is indeed a Buggerance Supreme.

During covid I had to see a maxfax surgeon and he was the nicest, kindest, most efficient hospital doctor I have ever seen. Nil desperandum.

Agreed.

@MyrtleLion I totally understand the procrastination.

When DH died, I appreciated all cards and notes received bar one - a card that wasn't intended for me.

A family friend had sent me a lovely sympathy card.

I'd expected that DH's ex would want to attend the funeral and had said that she was welcome. (DH and I were married 27 yrs. The ex is currently with Man No 4. He dropped her off at the funeral.)

I got a weird, gushing phone call from her. Then she told me she'd got a card from the above family friend "with words in them which comforted me. I thought that they might comfort you. I'll put it through your letterbox."

When I got the card, I vaguely expected a poem or quotation. Nope.

"Remembering happy times at [name of village where Dh and ex lived with their kids, years before he left her after confirmation of her affair]."

So far as I'm aware, the ex doesn't have dementia. The best gloss that I can put on it is that the card was intended for DH's adult kids and grandchild.

5 yrs later, I'm still rather baffled.

Thanks Fuzzy.

I was supposed to get maxfax surgery when I was 20 and they were going to pull all 4 wisdoms 'as an encore'. In the end, it was decided that the facial surgery wasn't required, so the wisdoms stayed. I've subsequently had two of the four pulled by my own dentist - they'd erupted enough to be problematic but pullable, years apart.

I'm just waiting for the 4th one to be a nuisance now.

@WearyAuldWummanif all the dentist is seeing is a spot of decay it may be quite some time before it causes problems so it may be ok to wait for the NHS treatment. I have a bit of a cavity developing under a front tooth crown, but it can’t be recrowned so I’m going to get an implant. Because I’m going to be doing readings this year with my new book, I don’t want to be gappy (does nothing for the enunciation) and my dentist assures me it will be ok to leave it a year.

I don't have any wisdom teeth. At all.

Bits of me may be wonky but the above is a definite plus.

Of course, my friends can be a trifle jovial regarding what that says about me.

I had to get an implant to replace a front crown ten years ago - the jaw was absorbing the root, apparently! (I was told that that was quite rare.)

Wisdom teeth- two removed in my early 20s, still got the other two. Pointless appendages!

That's grim, Weary😬I hope you get it sorted with the minimum of awfulness.

The issue of having procedures that require 'a responsible adult' to be with you for 24 hrs is a big problem for me too, as I don't have one to hand!

The last surgery I had, which was in a private hospital as the wait on the public list is very long, I paid extra - a heck of a lot extra - to spend the night in the hospital, though I could have gone home if I'd had someone to collect me and stay with me.

I was also refused sedation for a gastroscopy once because no-one could stay with me overnight. I suppose I could have lied, but I'm a rotten liar anyway, and I certainly couldn't lie to a nurse who was asking necessary questions...

Definitely an embuggerance, Weary. Good luck with it all.

I don't know anything about my wisdom teeth. I think I have some, but....

And that card drop-off was bloody odd of your DH's ex....

Oh Weary that is unfortunate. I have an impacted wisdom tooth and was advised years ago that it was best left alone. So far so good.....

Thanks all.

Yes @MarieDeGournay , the responsible adult thing is the main problem.

I’ve twice had procedures at Queen Margaret where I was kept overnight. I was willing to go home, but they wouldn’t let me.

Have had procedures at the Vic. Do not recommend at all. I found QM to be much better.

If NHS Fife can’t do it, I’ll pay for an overnight at the Edinburgh Spire.

Good luck, Weary.

An embuggerance indeed, @WearyAuldWumman. Mine are in varying stages of impaction but pointing in roughly the right direction. Number 2 offspring has lower wisdoms pointing towards the front of his head, but the dentist is going for watch and wait rather than trying to remove them now.

That's sensible. Two of mine came through sufficiently for my own dentist to do a regular extraction - 20 yrs apart - and both procedures were straightforward and under local anaesthetic.

Hope you manage to get your wisdom tooth sorted without too much drama @WearyAuldWumman I had mine taken out in my twenties after recurring problems over several years and have never missed them. A couple of years later I also had two front crowns put in following a high speed collision with a Lacrosse racquet. 😬

When I had the crowns replaced about 10 years ago, I asked the dentist how long these ones were likely to last. He looked at me, smirked and said "well, they'll see you out!"

Charming!

I was told crowns normally last 10-15 years @AuntieMsDamsonCrumble so...

However, I still have a crown that was put in free by an NHS dentist when I was pregnant with DD, who will be 45 next month.

My original NHS front teeth crowns (for teeth broken in childhood) both lasted 35 yrs. They were only replaced because of the amazing disappearing root.

ETA They were fixed with composite when I was 13 and given permanent crowns when I was 20.