Mixed sex toilets are terrifying for women but just a laugh for men.

[CrocsNotDocs]

I can enjoy a good fart joke but this “hilarious” anecdote by cricket commentator David “Bumble” Lloyd left me cold. Men really have no idea of the fear women have of mixed sex facilities.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/3843028419327926/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&fs=e&fs=e

If the link doesn’t work, it’s a viral, supposedly hilarious account of David going into a mixed-sex loo for a poo and letting off a loud fart. The lady in the cubicle next to him calls out “Is that you Maureen”.

From David’s point of view, (and pretty much every man and “cool girl” on the planet) he thinks that Maureen must be such a regular farter that her friend thinks the fart noise just has to be her.

I suspect most women would read this situation differently- Maureen’s friend has realised she was half naked inches away from a strange man and is calling out anxiously to her friend to make sure she isn’t alone.

I’m wondering what this board’s thoughts would be. Am I just looking to hard into an anecdote or is men’s complete obliviousness a big issue when it comes to mixed sex facilities.

I won’t go into a mixed sex toilet and the majority of women probably wouldn’t either, unless there was no other choice and they were desperate.

Love all the ‘cool girls’ replying that they wouldn’t be bothered by the idea of a man in the next cubicle to them.

Wonder how many of them are over 50? 🤔

I’m 70 this year and I really don’t mind. If there are locked doors and nice tall partitions I don’t see a problem.

An acquaintance of mine thought she was like the cool girls and was ‘not bothered at all’ by the idea of mixed sex toilets.

Then she actually used one and was shocked at how uncomfortable she felt.

Then you haven’t read my posts then 😬😁

Ooooo BeKind 💅

She can have a closed casket 👀 if the cleaning crew dont notice the cubicle is not out of order.....

Or start a special career on OF 😬

(Sorry KTS I know its not amusing for the people involved )

No worries @AnSolas . You can’t research toilets and not have a bit of toilet humour. Like the account of the grand unveiling of a new high-tech unisex loo where the electronic door opened and two men leapt out and ran off.

I know a funny song about ladies and loos. Although it doesn’t really go with the title of the thread because we all used to sing it in the playground and giggle. Or maybe it does?

Oh, dear, what can the matter be
Three old ladies locked in the lavatory
They were there from Monday to Saturday
Nobody knew they were there

The first lady’s name was Elizabeth Humphrey
She sat down and made herself comfy
She tried to get up but could not get her bum free
And nobody knew she was there

There’s many versions and regional differences and I know the last verse ended in a death as we all sang it slower and ‘sadly’.

I think that verse was to do with dying from the smell. People did used to die of noxious gases in toilets and the build up of gases did make some explode, so in that way toilets are better now!

TLDR: mixed sex toilets have to be enclosed and resistant to the passage of sound so you have to hope you never have an emergency in one.

Sometimes I wonder what utopian planet the cool crew think we are on.
When a train pulls in and you glance along and you see that one carriage has just one man in and another carriage has a woman or several people in, which would you choose?
If you'd choose the carriage with the man you're mad.

I genuinely don't believe they would choose that carriage. And I also think they know damn well that that's what we mean when we refer to "men" in generic terms, as opposed to their utterly irrational, "What, you're saying ALL men are EVIL?" strawmen (and they call US hysterical?!)

There is the need for proclamation of (mad) faith which very often is promptly contradicted by actions, but it's part of this demented belief that just saying it is the same as it being real and having happened. Starmer often tries this one. I have no doubt a single woman high on all this would declaim the NAMALT but get on the other carriage, just with a million and one reasons why they needed to be there which definitely did not include the sinful one.

This is an entire movement based on reality being what you say it is (and can control lesser others into enabling for you.) Expecting rationality on any matter is a bit like 'but apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?'

I’m not bothered by mixed sex toilets and I’m over 50 but I have no idea what age has to do with it
also don’t think I’m cool.. just normal really

Thats nice for you but you don't get to decide that men can use female only spaces on behalf of the rest of us
Its vanishingly unlikely that any woman would be upset by men NOT using female only spaces so how about some consideration for the many that are upset at the thought of them doing so

Using @oviraptor21 s example which carraige are you picking?

oviraptor21 · Yesterday 23:56

When a train pulls in and you glance along and you see that
• one carriage (A) has just one man in and
• another carriage (B) has a woman or several people in,

which would you choose?

A or B?

Not wanting to sound rude but I’m not sure that being completely comfortable in mixed sex toilets is the norm.

Especially with older women who have generally had a lifetime of dealing with men and have sufficient life experience to understand the wide range of men’s sexual fetishes and the frequency with which they are enacted in public spaces or on unconsenting women.

My acquaintance mentioned earlier thought she was fine with mixed sex but hearing a male voice in that sort of confined space (2 cubicles with gaps in a small room) triggered a self preservation instinct in her that was a surprise.

I find it concerning that some women have learnt to override their ancient instincts but I don’t believe it’s the norm.

All the men I know are equally uncomfortable in mixed sex spaces like that (where others are undressed or using the toilet) although for different reasons.

People have different ideas on the term ‘mixed sex’

many think of individual cubicles ….fine for a lot of people

some of us have been in what used to be the ladies but is now mixed…not fine for most people, including the men

I'd say that being over 50 gives you more accumulated experience of crap, harassment and even violence from men. Plus we grew up before this movement and weren't indoctrinated at school.

A if the man looks like Aidan Turner

Haven’t experienced any of that from men!

No quallifications allowed.

it either Tick box A or box B

Using @oviraptor21 s example which carraige are you picking?

oviraptor21 · Yesterday 23:56
When a train pulls in and you glance along and you see that

• one carriage (A) has just one man in

and

• another carriage (B) has a woman or several people in,

which would you choose?

□ A or
□ B?

Of course you haven’t. I could have predicted that. Your views are wholly based on your experience.

My research and experience shows that single sex toilets with door gaps are the safest.

So you think all those men in the Epstein files are just isolated examples and not at all representative of how many men regard women?

Are you aware of which sex is overwhelmingly responsible for voyeurism and indecent exposure? Very difficult to prove those crimes in a mixed space where people are expected to be in a state of undress.

It took me a long while to process the violence and abuse from male people I experienced Swirly. So I agree somewhat with you.

Other women and girls understood it much earlier than me. I think I learned to accept it as part of life.

My mother (in her 70s) would probably say this
But I KNOW it's not true. She just refuses to look at it.

I hope you never feel unwell or collapse in one of those loos you think are fine. No one will find you - you may find that you may then mind

The odds of collapsing in a public loo are fairly minimal, even for someone with a medical condition. You could just as easily collapse on the loo at home and, if you lived alone or even if your partner was just out for the day, no-one would find you in time. You could collapse in your hotel room, and no-one would find you (until the cleaners arrived the next day by which point it would probably be too late). You could collapse while out on a hike, and no-one would find you. And so on and so forth.

I can't help but feel that worrying about such rare events and "but what if I collapse" isn't really good for anyone. I really doubt it forms the basis of most people's daily thought process - and nor should it.

Surprised that what you take from this thread is that these discussions are people's "daily thought processes?" Worth remembering that no women anywhere in the world campaigned to have men watching them undress, toilet, shower etc so it shouldn't be surprising that some women want to discuss these abusive practices.

And it's always worth thinking occasionally about risk assessments - those who sail through life paying no attention to things like safeguarding / risk often seem to come to a sticky end.

Hopefully you won't feel obliged to spend too much time on the thread so your thought processes aren't affected by any worries about safety and risks posed to women