Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Mixed sex toilets are terrifying for women but just a laugh for men.

519 replies

CrocsNotDocs · 29/12/2025 06:56

I can enjoy a good fart joke but this “hilarious” anecdote by cricket commentator David “Bumble” Lloyd left me cold. Men really have no idea of the fear women have of mixed sex facilities.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/3843028419327926/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&fs=e&fs=e

If the link doesn’t work, it’s a viral, supposedly hilarious account of David going into a mixed-sex loo for a poo and letting off a loud fart. The lady in the cubicle next to him calls out “Is that you Maureen”.

From David’s point of view, (and pretty much every man and “cool girl” on the planet) he thinks that Maureen must be such a regular farter that her friend thinks the fart noise just has to be her.

I suspect most women would read this situation differently- Maureen’s friend has realised she was half naked inches away from a strange man and is calling out anxiously to her friend to make sure she isn’t alone.

I’m wondering what this board’s thoughts would be. Am I just looking to hard into an anecdote or is men’s complete obliviousness a big issue when it comes to mixed sex facilities.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
MistyGreenAndBlue · 29/12/2025 23:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Haven't you read anything on this thread? Not safer at all for numerous reasons.

Catiette · 30/12/2025 00:14

Does anyone remember this?

It came to mind yesterday as I was reading Sammybabe's comic interuptarons (on the Bash Back thread?) It does with some of the above, too.

So, there are a majority of posters, all about the research, attention to detail and analysis. AKA the interviewer and interviewee.

And you've got some lurkers - a thoughtful audience, listening in, reflecting and forming their own views.

And then, toddling in with brightly misplaced confidence, there are the terminally confused - and the blissfully ignorant. Bumbling truism and hyperbole as conversation stutters on as best it can over their heads.

So,

  • Stats about assaults and safeguarding standards become "all men" ("Mu-um, Dad's been talking to that man all. day. lo-ooong!!!")
  • Selective, evidenced concerns are "hate" ("He hates us, Mummy! You BOTH hate us!!!")
  • It's only reasonable for someone to mention how they feel, if they've directly experienced what I feel..." ("But why does Daddy care about his work? I don't!")
  • Expressing terror = appearing weak ("Help me, GI Joe, help me!" "I'm coming to get you, Barbie-doll!")

And also,

  • the similarity of the bathroom at home with the public loos ("Mu-um, he's still in the toooilet! Can I go to the ones on the corner instead?")

I mean, who needs safeguarding when you can live a bold and fearless life? Cos it all started with, "Don't bother shutting the study door, Jack - I've got them under control now. Good luck with the interview, love!"

(It's less funny when you think that GC campaigners are the desperate mother? nanny? trying to teach the importance of respecting other people's boundaries. Thankfully, though, posters here tend to go for a more direct approach than her. Open debate and counter-argument work so much better than a wildly flailing "GOTCHA!" 😁)

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh4f9AYRCZY

Helleofabore · 30/12/2025 02:43

Catiette · 30/12/2025 00:14

Does anyone remember this?

It came to mind yesterday as I was reading Sammybabe's comic interuptarons (on the Bash Back thread?) It does with some of the above, too.

So, there are a majority of posters, all about the research, attention to detail and analysis. AKA the interviewer and interviewee.

And you've got some lurkers - a thoughtful audience, listening in, reflecting and forming their own views.

And then, toddling in with brightly misplaced confidence, there are the terminally confused - and the blissfully ignorant. Bumbling truism and hyperbole as conversation stutters on as best it can over their heads.

So,

  • Stats about assaults and safeguarding standards become "all men" ("Mu-um, Dad's been talking to that man all. day. lo-ooong!!!")
  • Selective, evidenced concerns are "hate" ("He hates us, Mummy! You BOTH hate us!!!")
  • It's only reasonable for someone to mention how they feel, if they've directly experienced what I feel..." ("But why does Daddy care about his work? I don't!")
  • Expressing terror = appearing weak ("Help me, GI Joe, help me!" "I'm coming to get you, Barbie-doll!")

And also,

  • the similarity of the bathroom at home with the public loos ("Mu-um, he's still in the toooilet! Can I go to the ones on the corner instead?")

I mean, who needs safeguarding when you can live a bold and fearless life? Cos it all started with, "Don't bother shutting the study door, Jack - I've got them under control now. Good luck with the interview, love!"

(It's less funny when you think that GC campaigners are the desperate mother? nanny? trying to teach the importance of respecting other people's boundaries. Thankfully, though, posters here tend to go for a more direct approach than her. Open debate and counter-argument work so much better than a wildly flailing "GOTCHA!" 😁)

Edited

I remember this! Thanks for the laugh.

Your comparison does make me think. However, there is also the fact that Stanlow is also posting flower reactions where it is very clear that a flower reaction is not appropriate. Anyone else? It puts an entirely new perspective on their posts.

Datun · 30/12/2025 08:17

Helleofabore · 30/12/2025 02:43

I remember this! Thanks for the laugh.

Your comparison does make me think. However, there is also the fact that Stanlow is also posting flower reactions where it is very clear that a flower reaction is not appropriate. Anyone else? It puts an entirely new perspective on their posts.

Yes same! Especially when I decided to be explicit about describing some paraphilias due to Stanlow not believing they exist.

Flowers - followed by more expressions of disbelief.

Helleofabore · 30/12/2025 08:28

Datun · 30/12/2025 08:17

Yes same! Especially when I decided to be explicit about describing some paraphilias due to Stanlow not believing they exist.

Flowers - followed by more expressions of disbelief.

Exactly.

It comes across as flowers as reward for a woman providing the service of discussing those ‘vile’ acts on a feminism board. Or responding to condescension with annoyance.

The following with disbelief about paraphilias feels like baiting for more reactions.

The other angle I thought about, is it being used to bully the way the laugh reaction was? But coming across as even more inappropriate due to the nature of the discussion and the fact that they are flowers?

It is fucking creepy behaviour.

It also shows a distinct lack of boundaries particularly on a thread about mixed toilet facilities. It is like a live demonstration of situations that apparently never happen!

flattonicwater · 30/12/2025 08:41

Exactly . Women can’t be left to talk without male creeps intruding - even online.. yet male creeps should apparently be able to be right up close with us in the public loos online because male creeps don’t exist.

KnottyAuty · 30/12/2025 08:50

HousePlantEmergency · 29/12/2025 17:53

After discussing facial recognition software with my police BIL the other day, I wondered if at some point in the future some form of this could be used to literally prevent males from entering female spaces. Like a turnstile type set up that scanned the face/body/gait and will only open for those perceived as female.

Anything like this being completely trustworthy is I know a long way off, ("but what about butch lesbians, blah blah"🙄) but there really ARE some very subtle sex markers that you cannot conceal.
I think it's only a matter of time before AI can be used to decipher this with near to perfect accuracy.

Really fucking sad that the solution isn't just that men stay the fuck out.

But we had an interesting conversation, nonetheless.

Sal Grover used this technology on her app for women using photos. They managed to tune the software so that it never blocked any women unless there was a problem with the picture. I imagine that it would be even easier to do in real life - the new security scanners at major visitor attractions scan visitors for likelihood of terrorism based on body language - so fundamentals like biological sex markers will be easy peasy!

KnottyAuty · 30/12/2025 09:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Obviously inside a floor-to-ceiling cubicle with the door locked you can say it’s safer from voyeurism etc But it’s not safer if you have a health problem. So there are 2 sides to that coin.

Can you comment on your thoughts about the lobby spaces associated with mixed sex loos? Doors separating you from the main public areas and waiting alongside men in an enclosed space? How many different types of mixed sex loos have you used and which are better/worse than others?

Shortshriftandlethal · 30/12/2025 09:30

Barbie222 · 29/12/2025 13:47

Door locks and home security make homeowners look weak, frightened and pathetic, and cost money. If we’re going to be burgled, we will be, regardless of whether or not we lock our doors. Most burglaries are carried out by people familiar with the house, community and who are often known the family too. So why bother locking doors? It’s bewildering to me how so much energy and time goes into thinking about insurance and home security, frankly. Aren’t there bigger issues to worry about?

The one time we were burgled ( whilst asleep in bed) was a time when we accidentally forgot to lock the back door. It was obviously an opportunistic burglary. They took my purse and my car keys; drove my car and trashed it. It was horrible to know someone had been in my home as I slept. It makes you feel incredibly vulnerable, and you certainly don't want for it to happen again.

Nice idea that people don't need safeguards such as locks, but unfortunately human nature is not quite so trustworthy and all sorts goes on under cover of darkness and out of sight.

Shortshriftandlethal · 30/12/2025 09:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I think there must be a bit of faux innocence going on here. You cannot be living in the 21century and not know that every conceiveable perversion goes on, and that even the most 'normal' man can lead a secret life of sexual or imaginal depravity. Look at what happened to Sarah Everard - and the sorts of things the man responsible got up to.

We know a lot of what men get up to becaue they post about it on social media forums, and every now and then the police make arrests.

Shortshriftandlethal · 30/12/2025 09:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Even better, why not just retain single sex facilities for women? Can you give a very good reason why we shouldn't?

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 30/12/2025 10:03

Shortshriftandlethal · 30/12/2025 09:37

Even better, why not just retain single sex facilities for women? Can you give a very good reason why we shouldn't?

Edited

We've been waiting for 14 pages for that.

Helleofabore · 30/12/2025 11:03

In reading a twitter thread yesterday about a selection of male people with transgender identities who have been convicted in the UK for sex crimes, I was struck by just how many had been filming or taking photos of children or women in the toilet.

We know how easy it is to set up a small device with a camera and leave it running in a toilet. I cannot see how a mixed sex toilet is better at preventing this at all. Quite the opposite.

At least with single sex toilets it is noticeable if a male person goes into the toilet and reportable, or on a staff roster.

Keeptoiletssafe · 30/12/2025 11:07

@KnottyAuty thank you for mentioning the actual and real dangers of being in a toilet! Toilet deaths do happen each month, irrespective of gender or sex. It is nothing to do with sex or gender but ironically gender ideology leading to more private designed provision will increase deaths.

I doubt you will get any proper sensible answer to obvious logic though.

It’s a really difficult balance with posting on a thread like this because to discuss the other dangers of sexual assault problems properly, I would have to illustrate it with actual cases to show what happens. I am reticent to do that.

What I would say to @Stanlow is that door gaps save lives and prevent assaults. They help prevent vandalism that ultimately means provision is closed down altogether. They usually stop people having sex in toilet cubicles. The door gaps mean toilets are better ventilated and the cubicle can be soaked and drained with cleaning fluid. These means you are not as likely to catch pathogens from the occupants before you.

The ones we are hurting most if all public toilet provision becomes private is the most vulnerable. That will include any person of any gender. Toilet provision does and will all become private if the area in front of the cubicle is mixed sex.

Healthy men get affected least. Healthy men are usually the ones that don’t get it (Adrian Chiles, Alasdair Campbell, Jolyon Maugham). The other demographic who don’t are women who lead a rather well-to-do-life and want privacy at all costs (Lady Hale). I have contacted them and others who speak about the wonders of gender neutral toilets and got silence. In the case of Jolyon Maugham it’s interesting because with his sponsors wants he has got to argue for men going into women’s toilets, and women going into mixed sex toilets (very few people want the mens). Practically according to Document T in England all would have to become mixed sex which is not what men who want the women's want.

One example I sometimes use is that Michael Mosley saved a life of a young woman in the BBC because she collapsed in the corridor, so he saw her and performed cpr. He saved her life and she went on to have children. But what if she was heading to the gender neutral toilet? Nausea is often a symptom before several medical emergencies. Poor Michael may have had a better chance himself but no one saw him collapse. However, you don’t have to be on an island. You could be in a floor-to-ceiling toilet within a busy station, school, nightclub, cardiac ward in a hospital, emergency room. These are all places people have died recently in uk toilets.

People do all sorts of things to stop embarrassment eg. When they are choking in a posh restaurant they rush to the toilet and close the door! Being partially visible does save lives and people (collapsed or not) get trapped behind toilet doors all the time. To all posters - prop the toilet door open if you are ill.

Mixed sex toilets are terrifying for women but just a laugh for men.
Keeptoiletssafe · 30/12/2025 11:23

Helleofabore · 30/12/2025 11:03

In reading a twitter thread yesterday about a selection of male people with transgender identities who have been convicted in the UK for sex crimes, I was struck by just how many had been filming or taking photos of children or women in the toilet.

We know how easy it is to set up a small device with a camera and leave it running in a toilet. I cannot see how a mixed sex toilet is better at preventing this at all. Quite the opposite.

At least with single sex toilets it is noticeable if a male person goes into the toilet and reportable, or on a staff roster.

Agreed. With a private toilet there is all the time in the world to set one up and with mixed sex there’s more places to hide it and a reason to be there.

The older school voyeurism court cases were of male teachers propping up spy pens to the correct angle on the floor of the school disabled toilet.

It will be interesting the Scottish Parliament case. That more unusually was a male toilet (in the heart of Holyrood). And whether it was floor-to-ceiling.

Also (very unpleasant but informative) the toilet designs in the Russell Brand* case.

When looking at health and safety, unfortunately you spend your time looking at where it’s gone wrong to try and make it better for the future. That’s when certain posters don’t get it.

Edit to say: Rod Liddle did do a piece in the Spectator about toilets which included stories of Russell Brand. The location of the alleged assaults is said to be toilets.

Keeptoiletssafe · 30/12/2025 11:28

Oh, just looking at the thread, has he gone?

ContentedAlpaca · 30/12/2025 11:29

The ones we are hurting most if all public toilet provision becomes private is the most vulnerable. That will include any person of any gender. Toilet provision does and will all become private if the area in front of the cubicle is mixed sex.

But also women's right not to be flashed, have to see men urinating, or wandering out of a cubicle tucking themselves away is not solved by private toilets with mixed waiting and hand washing areas. Especially when that combination of toilet facilities is somewhere alcohol is consumed.

Keeptoiletssafe · 30/12/2025 11:39

ContentedAlpaca · 30/12/2025 11:29

The ones we are hurting most if all public toilet provision becomes private is the most vulnerable. That will include any person of any gender. Toilet provision does and will all become private if the area in front of the cubicle is mixed sex.

But also women's right not to be flashed, have to see men urinating, or wandering out of a cubicle tucking themselves away is not solved by private toilets with mixed waiting and hand washing areas. Especially when that combination of toilet facilities is somewhere alcohol is consumed.

Edited

Yes. Look at Spiking charity websites and look at who gets spiked the most and where they head to when they feel ill.

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 30/12/2025 11:43

Also women's experience - personal experience too - that in mixed sex contained toilet unit room areas, it is common for men to leave the door open when peeing. Regardless of women around in the area and walking behind them.

I'm sure it's a very lovely dick and he's very proud of it. I still do not want to see it. Or ever be in an area where men are handling their naked genitals. How the man identifies internally and what he is wearing makes no difference to this at all. And it again makes the point it is male behaviour that is the biggest issue here.

Helleofabore · 30/12/2025 11:46

Keeptoiletssafe · 30/12/2025 11:39

Yes. Look at Spiking charity websites and look at who gets spiked the most and where they head to when they feel ill.

And this is a confounder.

In the case of spiking, if the person retreating to the toilet to be sick leaves the door a jar the attacker can then just follow and lock the door behind them.

If it was a female single sex toilet, then it would be noticed that man is following a woman in and security alerted. Plus with a gap other women will notice someone very ill and potentially comatose and hopefully get help.

Yet… trendy night spots have been changing toilets to mixed sex for years. I remember having this discussion over 10 years ago with work friends when we noticed new bars with banks of mixed sex toilets and how uncomfortable we were using them.

StellaAndCrow · 30/12/2025 12:00

nicepotoftea · 29/12/2025 12:28

I think this is the kind of thing you say when you have had the good fortune to live a life where you have never truly felt threatened by a man.

I can imagine places where being loud and taking up space would be effective and great for you if you only ever have to be in those places. However, I can also imagine places where it would be as much use as a chocolate teapot.

Yes. The post I want to write would need too much of a trigger warning, but when I was assaulted the thing that affected me most was the realisation that a man could overpower me if he wanted to, and no amount of self defence/weight training/NHS C+R training would help me.

The idea that you can avoid/escape such experiences by being loud/taking up space/WOMAN POWER comes from such a privileged place.

StellaAndCrow · 30/12/2025 12:07

newbluesofa · 29/12/2025 11:40

Mixed sex toilets are not 'terrifying' for women, saying so makes us look absolutely pathetic. I do not care about mixed sex loos. If a man wants to assault a woman he's going to do it regardless. Most assaults are committed by a man known by the woman. There are bigger issues than toilets and I'm fed up of it being such a focus.

"Most assaults are committed by a man known by the woman."

Those men will also be able to go into the toilets with the woman. Have you never known women to go to the ladies toilets to get away from a man?

In single sex toilets, a man going into the ladies toilets would be noticed and challenged. With mixed sex he can just follow her in.

Maverick197 · 30/12/2025 12:12

our company users WeWork spaces in London where our team meets 2-3 times a month. They only have unisex toilets and by the afternoon the toilets are disgusting and covered in piss. I always pop to the pub to use their unisex toilets. It’s also cringe bumping into your male colleagues in the loo.

Helleofabore · 30/12/2025 12:17

Maverick197 · 30/12/2025 12:12

our company users WeWork spaces in London where our team meets 2-3 times a month. They only have unisex toilets and by the afternoon the toilets are disgusting and covered in piss. I always pop to the pub to use their unisex toilets. It’s also cringe bumping into your male colleagues in the loo.

Apparently Maverick, women have to be loud and proud to be women and not feel uncomfortable about meeting male colleagues in the loo or them knowing things about us that we want to keep private but can’t due to shared toilet space.

To confess discomfort about sharing toilet space with male colleagues is weakness.

Helleofabore · 30/12/2025 12:24

We know from many reviews and discussions with children and teens that girls are dehydrating to avoid using the mixed sex toilets. Apparently though, according to some women, we should tell girls to stop being so fucking weak!

And yet, women and girls will continue to self exclude. Whether it is by dehydration, using another venue’s toilets or just avoiding that place altogether or any other way to self exclude.

Swipe left for the next trending thread