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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Has anyone divorced their spouse for not understanding gender critical views?

152 replies

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 15:25

It is a major point of difference, along with others that I will omit in this thread for clarity. Generally, values aligned at marriage but became distinct over the past decade.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 17:43

Talkinpeace · 01/01/2026 17:16

OP is in the USA

The UK's Equality Act 2010 does not apply where the OP lives

Last November the OP, disgusted by the Gender / Identity / dire candidate offered up by the Dems
voted for Trump.

I also had that choice.
I read Project 2025 and saw what was coming down the track if he was elected.
And it has.

I held my nose and voted for Harris.
I am still furious that the DNC are in utter denial about their failings
but could not hold my head up if I had voted for the orange one.

Single Issue Voting is the absolute absolute luxury belief.

I think the GOP are in denial over their failings too. World politics are now firmly in the post truth era, because the GOP backed Trump, and because folk like the OP voted for him.

Sycophants, cronyism and nepotism is the standard. Lies are now the truth.

The checks and balances that the US has boasted about for so long have been shown to be toothless.

And much of this is thanks to the culture war, so carefully crafted by Fox news. They saw the benefit of increasing the number of single issue voters, and plenty of causes jumped on that bandwagon.

Guns, abortions and "the others".

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 17:47

KitWyn · 01/01/2026 17:33

If children take puberty blockers this stops both the brain and the physical body from maturing to adulthood. They can stay both looking and thinking as a child does, even though they will become old enough to legally consent to sex. This is, of course, a massive red flag and safeguarding risk.

Puberty blockers are, rightly, no longer routinely prescribed to children as part of 'gender affirming care'. But a hotly contested UK trial IS due to start this month.

Data from the Tavistock Centre showed that well over 90% of children placed on puberty blockers then went on to take cross sex hormones. So puberty blockers didn't provide the expected 'time to think' but instead locked the child onto a pathway to sterility and a lifelong dependence on medication.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-5528211

So, yes, children were being sterilised as part of their 'gender affirming care'.

Edited

BBC is blocked where I am afraid.

But from what you posted, it seems no children are actually going under the knife ?

Talkinpeace · 01/01/2026 17:51

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 17:47

BBC is blocked where I am afraid.

But from what you posted, it seems no children are actually going under the knife ?

Did you read the Harvard link I gave ?
Yes, children are being operated on.

See also the HHS report into Gender Dysphoria
(ignore that its the maniac RFK on the media, the report is really thorough)
https://opa.hhs.gov/gender-dysphoria-report

Gender Dysphoria Report

Peer-ReviewedTreatment for Pediatric Gender Dysphoria: Review of Evidence and Best Practices is a report by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

https://opa.hhs.gov/gender-dysphoria-report

Talkinpeace · 01/01/2026 17:54

Page 22 of the HHS report

A 2023 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that between 2016 and 2020, 3,215 patients between the ages of 12 and 18 received surgical “breast or chest procedures” relating to their transgender identity

And that is just the ones that the medical insurers know about

spannasaurus · 01/01/2026 17:54

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 17:47

BBC is blocked where I am afraid.

But from what you posted, it seems no children are actually going under the knife ?

Are you OK with children being chemically sterilised as long as they don't have any surgery before they are 18?

Not forgetting of course that children are going under the knife as girls under 18 are getting double mastectomies.

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 17:59

Talkinpeace · 01/01/2026 17:31

As per this Harvard Article
gender affirming surgery on children is rare
but happens - which it should not
https://hsph.harvard.edu/news/gender-affirming-surgeries-rarely-performed-on-transgender-youth/

In the UK ?

I can't open that link sorry, blocked where I am.

But I did find this for the USA.

How many underage children get sex change operations (factually.co)

From that, quote : " An insurance‑claims analysis cited by Reuters and summarized by FactCheck reported that across 2019–2021, 776 minors with a diagnosis of gender dysphoria had breast‑removal surgeries and 56 had genital surgeries, figures that are often referenced in media debates but come with caveats about coding and definitions"

The article is dated now, but the data is old. The article does say there is no single database.

FallenSloppyDead2 · 01/01/2026 18:01

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 17:43

I think the GOP are in denial over their failings too. World politics are now firmly in the post truth era, because the GOP backed Trump, and because folk like the OP voted for him.

Sycophants, cronyism and nepotism is the standard. Lies are now the truth.

The checks and balances that the US has boasted about for so long have been shown to be toothless.

And much of this is thanks to the culture war, so carefully crafted by Fox news. They saw the benefit of increasing the number of single issue voters, and plenty of causes jumped on that bandwagon.

Guns, abortions and "the others".

Lies are now the truth.

Like the lie that humans can change sex? That lie comes from left-leaning parties across the West.

Greyskybluesky · 01/01/2026 18:03

@RedTagAlan where are you that the likes of the BBC and Harvard are blocked?

Talkinpeace · 01/01/2026 18:06

@RedTagAlan
What do you mean you cannot read a Harvard article ?
What about the HHS report ?

you implied you were in the USA

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 18:09

spannasaurus · 01/01/2026 17:54

Are you OK with children being chemically sterilised as long as they don't have any surgery before they are 18?

Not forgetting of course that children are going under the knife as girls under 18 are getting double mastectomies.

Edited

Why are you insisting I state if I am ok with something ? I am just asking for data that shows children in the UK are being sterilized, specifically for trans reasons.

Mastectomies do not make women sterile, so far as I know. And now you are expanding the discussion. From children in the UK being sterilized to breast surgery.

This is looking similar to the claims about full term abortions. I say that as an example, not a conflation or whataboutism. Yes, late abortions happen, but for medical reasons. Not " because the woman changed her mind", as the GOP politicians claim.

Talkinpeace · 01/01/2026 18:13

Eh?
What has the UK got to do with this thread ?

The OP is in the USA
Her voting decisions were based around what has been happening in the USA

In the UK, the Levy report showed that the Gender Clinics go to great lengths to avoid providing data
https://www.england.nhs.uk/commissioning/spec-services/npc-crg/gender-dysphoria-clinical-programme/review-of-adult-gender-dysphoria-services/

NHS commissioning » Review of adult gender dysphoria services

NHS commissioning » Review of adult gender dysphoria services

https://www.england.nhs.uk/commissioning/spec-services/npc-crg/gender-dysphoria-clinical-programme/review-of-adult-gender-dysphoria-services

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 18:14

Talkinpeace · 01/01/2026 18:06

@RedTagAlan
What do you mean you cannot read a Harvard article ?
What about the HHS report ?

you implied you were in the USA

No, I said I follow US politics. I am in a country with heavily censored internet. LGBTQ being deemed a sensitive subject. Or so it appears.

Can you cut and paste the relevant part of that report that applies to UK children being sterilized ?

spannasaurus · 01/01/2026 18:15

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 18:09

Why are you insisting I state if I am ok with something ? I am just asking for data that shows children in the UK are being sterilized, specifically for trans reasons.

Mastectomies do not make women sterile, so far as I know. And now you are expanding the discussion. From children in the UK being sterilized to breast surgery.

This is looking similar to the claims about full term abortions. I say that as an example, not a conflation or whataboutism. Yes, late abortions happen, but for medical reasons. Not " because the woman changed her mind", as the GOP politicians claim.

Children in the UK have been given puberty blockers and at the Tavistock gender clinic around 90% of those children went onto cross sex hormones. This is well evidenced. You can google the CASS report.

Children who have their puberty blocked and then have cross sex hormones will likely be sterile and if blocked at tanner stage 2 will almost certainly be sterile. You can Google Marci Bowers stating this. He's the surgeon who did genital surgery on Jazz Jennings

Talkinpeace · 01/01/2026 18:15

I am currently working my way through the HHS report - it runs to 410 pages.

Get a VPN like other interested people do.

Greyskybluesky · 01/01/2026 18:16

Greyskybluesky · 01/01/2026 18:03

@RedTagAlan where are you that the likes of the BBC and Harvard are blocked?

Answering my own question, one of these:
China, Russia, Iran, North Korea, Cuba, Syria.

Alan, consider there may be some gaps in your knowledge if you are forbidden to access certain sites.

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 18:18

Talkinpeace · 01/01/2026 18:13

Eh?
What has the UK got to do with this thread ?

The OP is in the USA
Her voting decisions were based around what has been happening in the USA

In the UK, the Levy report showed that the Gender Clinics go to great lengths to avoid providing data
https://www.england.nhs.uk/commissioning/spec-services/npc-crg/gender-dysphoria-clinical-programme/review-of-adult-gender-dysphoria-services/

That opened fine thanks.

"Review of adult gender dysphoria services"

It's UK because the discussion went off track sorry.

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 18:24

Greyskybluesky · 01/01/2026 18:16

Answering my own question, one of these:
China, Russia, Iran, North Korea, Cuba, Syria.

Alan, consider there may be some gaps in your knowledge if you are forbidden to access certain sites.

As I said above, this subject is not in my lane, and I wanted to get back into my lane.

But I was accused of running away, or something like that, and was pulled back in.

I am happy to try flouncing again though. I am just interested in evidence for the claim that children are being sterilised.

Seethlaw · 01/01/2026 18:24

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 18:09

Why are you insisting I state if I am ok with something ? I am just asking for data that shows children in the UK are being sterilized, specifically for trans reasons.

Mastectomies do not make women sterile, so far as I know. And now you are expanding the discussion. From children in the UK being sterilized to breast surgery.

This is looking similar to the claims about full term abortions. I say that as an example, not a conflation or whataboutism. Yes, late abortions happen, but for medical reasons. Not " because the woman changed her mind", as the GOP politicians claim.

I am just asking for data

Problem is: the government is not being forthcoming with said data. Thousands of kids were treated with puberty blockers, but the government is unable to say what became of them. No follow-up was done. They were just released into the wild and left to their own devices. This doesn't bother TRAs in the least, who insistently demand that another cohort of kids be subjected to the same unproven treatment, while GC people are the ones demanding that whatever studies can be still done on the previous group of children be done first, to assess the risks and benefits of the treatment.

Mastectomies do not make women sterile, so far as I know.

True, but they have a tremendous effect on the quality of their sexual life as adults. Doesn't that matter, in and of itself?

Yes, late abortions happen, but for medical reasons.

It's the direct opposite of what's happening with so-called trans children: they are being operated on and medicated for NO medical reasons. There's literally NO data showing that giving them puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, or mastectomies, has ANY positive effect on their outcome as young adults. So why are we messing with their biology at all?

Igmum · 01/01/2026 20:57

I was the poster who mentioned gay, autistic and troubled teens being sterilised. Thank you to the previous posters who explained that I did not approve of this (I really don't and that will teach me to express my views much more clearly).

It is truly appalling the way activists push these children into life altering treatments that they cannot meaningfully consent to. I don't think Gillick competence does or should apply here. It was originally developed to permit young women to take the contraceptive pill without parental knowledge or approval - put it another way, it applied to a widely used and easily reversible treatment. Any woman who changes her mind about taking the pill simply stops taking the pill. For this 'gender affirming treatment' doctors are asking children who have never had sex, have never even been kissed, to sacrifice sexual pleasure; to give up the prospect of ever having children before they have stopped being children themselves; and to limit their own brain development. This is a very different form of consent to that required for the contraceptive pill.

It is also informative to consider the way the organisations involved in this treatment react. A parallel might be childhood epilepsy. For some this too involves drastic and often experitmental treatments, but this is monitored long term with extensive medical follow ups. Research is conducted into both the condition and the treatments and medical practice is revised following this research. Contrast this with trans medicine where the medics do not reveal medical and social outcomes (at best it is not collected, at worst actively concealed). While other charities associated with medical conditions actively campaign for research, trans charities lobby against it. Trans medicine involves life altering treatments with little evidence, little follow through and little regard for the consequences.

No one, be they Republican, Democrat or whatever the American equivalent of the Monster Raving Loony Party is, should approve of these treatments yet Biden's government (via Rachel Levine) not only approved but insisted that WPATH remove age limits from their 'standards' of care. How many children have to suffer this before the Democrats actually protest against this butchery?

JanesLittleGirl · 01/01/2026 22:28

@RedTagAlan. I appreciate that you don't have an unlimited access to the internet. This may be why you have an incomplete understanding of Gender Critical Feminism. This is best explanation that I have found:
https://hollylawford-smith.org/what-is-gender-critical-feminism-and-why-is-everyone-so-mad-about-it/

Please read it and let me know if you can't access it.

PinkTreeFrog · 01/01/2026 22:30

AspiringChatBot · 01/01/2026 00:16

I've not experienced it personally, but I’ve seen situations like this discussed here - perhaps not divorce specifically, but I remember someone whose partner couldn’t tolerate her activism in support of women’s spaces and services and gave her an ultimatum, and a few women shocked to discover that the male partners they’d thought largely shared their understanding of how women are systematically disadvantaged on the basis of sex and why that’s bad were suddenly eager to sacrifice hard-won feminist gains when the demands were phrased in a way that seemed superficially “progressive”.

I read your posts (not the replies, so apologies for any repetition) on the other thread and it sounds like you’ve been separated for a while and are already planning to file for divorce. So not really looking for relationship advice, but mainly similar experiences to compare, and possibly gain perspective on where/how things went wrong?

You mentioned your husband’s “deep” involvement in Red/Green Coalition activism. (For non-US’ers: this isn’t your trad and logical European-style workers/socialists + greens/environmentalists coalition, but rather a specific tactical agreement between Islamic fundamentalists and “the left” to advance common interests, which mainly takes the form of opposing “imperialism” and “western cultural dominance”- see, for example, Iran 1979.) Perhaps your partner genuinely believes that taking a tactical loss for women now will yield a greater chance at equality later. Perhaps he doesn’t fully understand the need for women’s rights specifically (even as a band-aid until true utopia equality is achieved and maintained) and feels comfortable sacrificing them as it doesn’t impact him directly. Perhaps he feels that Islam will inevitably modernize and become more egalitarian. Perhaps he neither knows nor cares because HE’S not a Muslim or an Islamist, just using his short-term allies tactically.

Regardless, he hasn’t succeeded in convincing you or even helping you understand his POV. You feel he’s fundamentally wrong and doing active damage - and because it strikes at core beliefs for you, and disproportionately negatively impacts the group you and your daughter are part of, you can’t just “agree to disagree” or agree not to discuss the topic and carry on as normal. But if what you say about your shared past beliefs is correct, he may feel the same way about you. You and your husband are in a sense doing the same thing in different ways, moving on from the Democrats, “progressives”, and left-of-(US)-center movements that have disappointed you - he via the Red/Green Coalition, you through MAGA. In my opinion you’re both working against your own interests, and certainly against your daughter’s, but neither of you can see a better way. RE your prior, shared world view: you've each chosen to sacrifice or save different parts. It makes sense if you find each other equally unreasonable and don’t understand how the other got to their current position.

PPs have said that love and family ties supersede politics. While I agree that there’s nothing lost by declining to debate politics with extended family, a spouse is a bit different. Realistic or not, it’s common to want and expect your life partner to care deeply about your well-being, and to prioritise it over most other things. And raising a child together highlights all kinds of ethical and philosophical differences so that it may become impossible (or perceived as too costly) to compromise or stay silent. In this case, I think divorce is a reasonable solution, especially as you’ve tried separation. I’d also, in your position, be doing active work to plan for co-parenting; it sounds like you and your husband are or will be sharing very different world views with your daughter, and you both owe it to her to try to minimize the confusion and mixed messages. If you’ve tried and failed to find a lasting compromise, I’d consider some kind of shared therapy or mediation.

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I would be open to mediation/therapy, but it seems that all practitioners are part of his "tribe."

OP posts:
Ereshkigalangcleg · 01/01/2026 23:48

RedTagAlan · 01/01/2026 16:26

And if one comes across a post that is suggestive of a "wrong'un", is it called out ?

After all, GC is not binary, ironically. Most things are on a scale, with the crossover line from good to bad varying from person to person.

Some folk will say " Trans is an abomination to God", some will say " most trans are ok but they should know their place", others " Its a fetish, a fashion, a commie plan to destabilize society".

I have a rough idea where my line is between what is transphobic and what is reasonable. And to me the suggestion that It " means gay, autistic and troubled children being sterilised" is on the wrong side.

That is all.

Do you mean you think calling out that specifically vulnerable groups of children (both in UK and US, and many other countries) are being effectively sterilised is transphobia? Odd take.

KitWyn · 02/01/2026 09:03

Ereshkigalangcleg · 01/01/2026 23:48

Do you mean you think calling out that specifically vulnerable groups of children (both in UK and US, and many other countries) are being effectively sterilised is transphobia? Odd take.

Agreed. We are much, much more cautious regarding the use of medication by pregnant women and children. The risks are so much higher to a developing foetus or child.

As a silly example if I bake a cake and then decorate it badly, I can remove the filling and icing and redo it. Or serve it as is, it'll still taste good.

But if I use the wrong number of eggs, or plain flour instead of self-raising, or have the oven at the wrong temperature it won't look like a cake. And it will very likely taste horrible. Baking is a science, if you change the recipe you'll change the result.

The UK Cass Review was robustly clear that the evidence underpinning the use of puberty blockers for 'gender care' was very, very weak. It did not come close to meeting the standard formally required to prescribe a powerful drug to a child. So the medical profession was flouting both good practice requirements and its "First, do no harm" principle in particular. Children's lives were being damaged as a result of their failure.

Moreover the push for puberty blocker use by children was dominated by angry middle-aged men with a sexual fetish. These men were furious they could not 'pass' as young, attractive women even with cross-sex hormones and surgeries. If only they had taken puberty blockers, they would be so much prettier, sexier and happier now.

But if these transwomen had taken puberty blockers, they wouldn't have had children, or married their wife, or built a successful career. Their body would be different. But their brains would be very different too.

And with the bitterest of ironies, the majority of 'trans children' now referred to the clinics were young vulnerable girls. Girls commonly seeking to escape the misery of womanhood due to their fears of being lesbian or struggles with autism or wishing to escape the attentions of creepy, staring, grabby middle-aged men.

TooBigForMyBoots · 02/01/2026 15:51

Is he still a Quaker @PinkTreeFrog?

Talkinpeace · 02/01/2026 16:05

The Quaker thing is interesting.

I am not sure about the USA but in the UK there are Friends Meeting Houses that have posted on their social media
"we are inclusive, TERFs not welcome"
without a hint of irony

the "intolerant authoritarians" of the "progressive left" need to look in a mirror much more

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