I thought I'd plumbed the depths of male depravity but...

[Imnobody4]

Just why? We need a serious study of male paraphilias. Why is male sexuality so plastic?

Between 2009 and 2018, Nègre met women for job interviews or mentorship sessions in Paris and Strasbourg,
according to prosecutors. In many cases he had approached them on LinkedIn and offered to meet them. At the start of the meeting, he would offer them tea or coffee, which he allegedly drugged with a powerful diuretic to induce them to urinate, before suggesting they take a walk outside, where he would lead them far from the office

www.thetimes.com/article/75321fbf-57e4-4821-8719-48ce2ec3193d?shareToken=ed1db66b2a04a4764a237b8143c7bb32

It’s an absolutely horrible story.

I don’t know the difference though between paraphilias and power based fantasies. To me they are largely the same - what is supposed to be the focus of the fantasy is actually about losing or gaining power or status by a specific means.

For a long time I have wondered if men are particularly likely to want to act out fantasies. I know women have wild fantasies but I do wonder how many women just want to keep them in their heads; I know I do. And since so many men have these power relationship fantasies of all sorts, the outcome can rapidly escalate to criminal abuse.

I wish people would remember when they say it's a minority of men they are not thinking of the number of victims.
1 man is a danger to many women.
'urolagnia' is a sexual paraphilia which is a good reason to keep all men out of women's toilets.

There are about 240 alleged victims, and the number who have come forward has tripled in two years. One of the lawyers for several of them, Louise Beriot, said new women were coming forward all the time. “Almost every day we are contacted by new victims,” she said. “I think we are well below the final number. And we don’t know where it will end. We have no idea of the end of the discovery.”

I've wondered about that not just in relation to fantasies but in relation to sexuality in general.

I think, fundamentally, most women do not feel physically, emotionally or socially safe enough with unknown or slightly known men to risk it.

Physical safety - we know that if we ask a man to stop doing something sexual and he does not want to, we are very unlikely to be able to make him.

Emotional safety - we know that men do not have to respect or value a woman to be happy to fuck her. Other than those women for whom it is a specific fantasy, knowing your partner may look at you like dirt in the morning is not sexy.

Social safety - women who are known to be sexual, especially in kink/non standard ways, face both intrusive curiosity and value judgement. Knowing that her social status could be affected by knowledge about her sex life also makes women risk averse.

This is not to ignore that some women have found outlets like swinging, sex parties etc where they do feel safe. Though I note that these are all groups with some degree of social rule enforcement.

That's horrific. Makes you never want to accept a drink from any stranger even in a formal setting like that

Of all the likely ways I would expect to be in danger of being assaulted, in a job interview would not have come in the top 20.

Depravity aside, it never ceases to amaze me how much thought and effort these men go into to fulfil whatever paraphilia they have. This in particular takes an incredible amount of planning.

Yes.

I’m willing to agree it’s not all men, but those who do it, do it a lot!

Just reading the Angiolini report & one of the sexual offenders against women in public places had committed 172 offences before he got taken to court.

That affects ALL women.

There are earlier threads about this.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5450811-french-civil-servant-made-women-wet-themselves-for-sexual-gratification

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5453389-more-than-200-women-allege-drugging-by-senior-french-civil-servant

I would be interested insociety having better understanding how these things develop, not least because it might help us minimise them.

I have come to think that women may have them more often than I had thought, largely as a result of reading the detrans reddit. But what seems to happen is that rather than being aggressive to satisfy their paraphilia, they put themselves at risk.

I suspect this is not just because of the male aggression element - it's also because most women can easily get a sexual partner if they are not at all picky.

But I do think that human sexuality is very plastic. Maybe because it allows us to adapt to many different environmental and cultural landscapes?

This isn't a paraphilia, it's just plain old male sadism. Wanting to humiliate women, wanting to bring them down to an animal-like level. Probably to his level.