I've been reflecting on some of my own IRL conversations (after this was mentioned earlier in the thread) and wanted to pick something up from the last paragraph in the article. Underlining is mine.
“We recognise that social transition is not a neutral act ... Our approach is cautious, child-centred and evidence-informed. In line with our policy, pupils who are questioning their gender are encouraged and supported to talk to their parents. Parents are always informed, and permission is sought where a pupil requests specific changes that would amount to social transition.”
I have previously been referred to Children's Services by the school, because they felt that my "views" on gender identity put my daughter at risk.
In the first phone call, right at the start of what turned out to be some very interesting and positive conversations with the CS team (not easy, but ultimately positive), our assigned case worker listened to my concerns about autism-related puberty distress being conflated with gender identity. She was sympathetic to this and told me that she had lots of experience working with children like my daughter. She then went on to say that what was really important was to take things one step at a time, that there should never be any pressure to go to the next step, that children might want to only do one thing (change name, change clothes, change pronouns) before doing more...
She clearly felt very confident that this was a cautious approach and that I was in good hands with her.
For context, my daughter has worn clothes from the boys' section since she was about 6. She started using a "gender neutral" nickname in school about 3 years ago. She used it at home for a while too but eventually told us we may as well carry on using her usual nickname at home and with family. I said all this to the case worker, who seemed positively delighted.
I also explained that my daughter has not been actively gender questioning since the end of 2022 but remains at significant risk of her autism-related puberty distress being conflated with gender identity by professionals. I explained that her current needs had nothing to do with gender identity because we had already been on a journey to establish this and were continuing to support her mental health with what she does need. This conversation was in 2024, well after the root cause of my daughter's 2022 mental health crisis had been unpicked by CAMHS.
It was when I told the case worker that we had told her from the start that it was important not to change pronouns while she explored her feelings that there was a sharp intake of breath from the case worker - and a negative shift in her tone. She went into some kind of monologue about how important it was to listen to children, to support them etc. It got even more bizarre because she started talking about families who stop their children doing hobbies and force them to do others. She asked me how I would handle things if my daughter wanted to cut her hair (I told her my daughter already had short hair) or wanted to do things that girls don't normally do (I said she played for a football team and asked the case worker if that was the kind of thing that she meant..... yes, it was...).
I said that everything she had just mentioned related to stereotypes and that yes, I had been listening to my daughter. That no, my daughter had not been on a "step by step" journey because to frame it like that would be to suggest that there was a next step, then a next... and so on. I referred to the Cass Report stating that social transition was not a neutral act and that this was why it was important that my daughter had explored her thoughts about her body (when she was actively gender questioning) without moving away from the reality of being female. The very notion of taking it one step at a time presupposes that the child might not "be" the sex that they are. It also relies on stereotypes throughout, locking in the idea that short hair, wearing "boys' clothes" and playing football could be indicators that you're not a girl. FFS. Sexism 21st century style.
Thankfully, this was the start of what turned out to be a good outcome. It had some uncomfortable moments, mostly because it was very clear that there was a script that parents were expected to follow - and I was not doing that. (It got escalated within the service at one point, presumably after an internal team discussion, and I had to work hard in difficult conversations to keep everything tethered to common sense and safeguarding).
This whole ridiculous situation happened during a window of about 5 months, during which the school finally showed its hand. I had previously been liaising with the school to address how they supported children like my daughter... Some progress was being made but it was suspiciously slow , despite some early positive monemtum. Even with the optimism I felt at that early time, I always had it in the back of my mind that I should eventually expect to hit a blocker and for it to get difficult.
When I look at the underlined words in the quote above, I think of parents like me being "informed" and "permission" being "sought". What this means in reality is that there is only one outcome permitted - unquestioning agreement to socially transition your child. If you don't agree, you'll be managed as a danger to your own child.
Luckily, we were sufficiently far past my daughter's active gender questioning period by this point that I could stand my ground. But there will be plenty of parents who feel they just need to do as they are told because they don't know what else to do. Had I not already found this board and also sought out other sources of information about gender identity, I would likely still have been feeling as lost as I did back in 2022.