The Bluestocking: it's the season of mulled wine, conversations about pineapple and, of course, gerbils. Confused? You will be...

[EdithStourton]

Welcome to the anarchic and marvellous women-only on-line pub, the Bluestocking. The booze won't give you a hangover, the cakes won't make you fat, and the conversations are fascinating, covering knitting, health and safety, the Muppets and anything else that comes to mind.

Climb Peak Woo, have a cuddle with Rosie the Red Panda, and watch out for capybaras busy with any necessary building works.

Welcome in (and name change at the door if you need too).

wtf is a white lake-blossom? A waterlily? Why did he think it fell?

Maud herself has a penchant for singing the cherry ripe song using a mangled version of the alternative 1800s verse.

Maud is tone deaf, cannot hold a tune to save her life and her voice cracks on the high notes.

She doesn't even realise she's singing it, but the constant

Cherry Ripe, Cherry Ripe
Ripe I cry
Full and fair ones
Till I die
Cherry ripe, Cherry ripe
Gerbils and I
Bluestocking where we're
Till you die

Should be used as form of torture.

I believe she first came across the song whilst watching the character Maud Chapman singing it in the 1942 film, Went the Day Well?

She drove me insane whilst she was sat bidding for 'The Maud'.

Just over and over and over and over.

The Count himself, for the delectation of non-cynics

McCormack not Dracula

I knew I knew the poem from somewhere - not because I'm a Tennyson scholar, but because in A Damsel In Distress, one of my favourite Wodehouse novels, the hero George ponders on the poem while thinking of the object of his affections, Lady Maud. There's a fair bit of Tennyson in Wodehouse, and plenty more Shakespeare and Burns and Pope and similar.

Most of what I know about classical literature comes either from Bertie Wooster misquoting it, or from trying to understand the jokes in Bugs Bunny cartoons.

I couldn't get into Evolve today. For those of you familiar with it, my apologies for reviving the trauma. For those of you who aren't, think yourself lucky.
It's a trip planning and approval app, and while it isn't the worst user interface I've ever come across, it's certainly up there.

That reminds me of a story from my childhood - does anyone remember this PG Tips advert? . My Dad and Grandad kind of re-enacted this in reverse - they managed to get the upright piano up the stairs like a dose of salts, and then it got stuck as they tried to turn it around the landing. 4 hours it took to shift it, which was particularly inconvenient for Grandad as he was stuck on the opposite side of the landing from the loo.

A friend of mine once said, You have to read a helluva lot of Tennyson to find the very ocassional sublime line. And proceeded to introduce me to Hopkins and Ivor Gurney.

And Marie, when I finally snapped and started sobbing, Batshit came very worriedly over to give me a big cuddle, and then - to my surprise, as she's not known for her empathy - Brains joined in. So that was very comforting.

And the good thing about being Ich kann nicht anders (you were spot on there) is that when you do snap, it's so unusual that the people who really matter know it's serious.

are you ok(ish) now Edith?

I am so sorry you are having a shit time, @EdithStourton - hugs from here.

I had a couple of years where I read a poem every day - I had books with a poem for each day - and I did rather enjoy that. I did it as a New Year’s resolution - I decided that, instead of giving something up, I would add something positive to my life. I also tried to listen to a new piece of music each week.

I might do it again next year.

I remember that pg tips ad well enough I don’t need to watch it!

Shades of the sofa in Dirk Gently!

.

I love these clips! They remind me of the time I backed myself into a corner trying to get a double bed mattress down the stairs. It took some ingenuity - and a lot of swearing - to free myself. Not at at all dignified

Edited as pressed post too early 🙄

We have a spiral staircase. All the furniture was assembled in their respective rooms.

We are never moving.

Or changing the sofa.

On a different furniture matter, I assume we’re all agreed that a women’s pub has no use whatever for bar stools, except possibly to elevate cute fluffy animals?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5455215-bar-stools-should-be-banned?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

and that reminds me… ‘elevate’ should only ever be used in a physical sense not as wank-speech like ‘elevate your look’ which seems to be in vogue at the moment?

Right. Dinner. Then family night. See you all after 10pm.

Yep. Still running on empty, but DH knows it and is being lovely, which helps.

We are seeing ILs over the weekend. We are giving SIL a lift. It's a long drive. I am contemplating a hip flask/ sedatives/ the shotgun.

And everyone, thank you for your support. I don't know any of you in RL, which oddly makes your kindness all the more appreciated.

On a completely different note, our house is so bizarrely laid out inside that the only way to move larger bits of furniture around downstairs is to take them out of the house through one door and back in through another.

Never mind the hip flask. Fill a large flask with your favourite full-strength liqueur and drink as much as you want from it. I would be setting off with a litre of Grand Marnier if I had had the year that you have.

Noted, Deano!

It is a shame that his heyday was before recording tech, and the recordings we have are poor, and of a declining voice - still wonderful though.
I think they remastered them, and his voice sounds more rich and full - I must google that to see if there's a CD or something.

I just knew Batshit would be there for you, Edith! and it's lovely that she is being a good influence on Brains.

I'm glad that you know you can rely on the 3 Bs: Brains, Batshit and the Bluestocking💙

A bar stool is better than nothing, but only just. It's not possible to sit on one elegantly, and I'm tall enough to not have a problem with the height.

Listen to Jane, Edith. She's giving you very sound advice here.

are we assuming that a Man will be driving?🤔

I'm just popping in for a quick Coke.

I've moved on to sorting vinyl

14 year old me is just having a moment! I've just found my signed Owen Paul pleased to meet you 12 inch.

I'd show you but images are still not working!

I'm also probably pissing off the neighbours as I've got Great Big Sea's Play album playing at full blast!

I love bar stools.

That is all.

<goes back to sitting on bar stool at the bar chatting the eat off poor Grimsel.>