The Bluestocking: it's the season of mulled wine, conversations about pineapple and, of course, gerbils. Confused? You will be...

[EdithStourton]

Welcome to the anarchic and marvellous women-only on-line pub, the Bluestocking. The booze won't give you a hangover, the cakes won't make you fat, and the conversations are fascinating, covering knitting, health and safety, the Muppets and anything else that comes to mind.

Climb Peak Woo, have a cuddle with Rosie the Red Panda, and watch out for capybaras busy with any necessary building works.

Welcome in (and name change at the door if you need too).

My grandparents bought me £5 of premium bonds when they fist came out in the mid 50s. I kept them and added to them occasionally but never won anything and occasionally thought of cashing them in. Then last year, one of the very first numbers came up and I won £50! So I'm definitely keeping them.

My Word - Frank Muir and Dennis Norden weaving an unlikely tale around a quotation.
I didn’t have that one in my archives but in its dark corners I have a few:
Nevah never niff an oven ever (never, never, never never never)
Book lack in Ongar
A gnomes not a gnome if you’re not Enid

The one I always remember is
You can't have your kayak and heat it

That’s a pun I’ll have to try to find a use for - DD kayaks year round.

God, YES.
For various reasons this past year has been a bit crap for us, our DC, the ILs and some of my family. Everything from a leaky radiator via job problems and MH issues to a disastrous diagnosis.

I'm one of those annoying eternal optimist types, who is generally calm and cheerful and sane and sympathetic, but this year has drained me dry. I've dealt with various shitstorms, propped up various people for varying amounts of time, and offered tea and sympathy in copious quantities. I've asked for bugger all back, was very aware that the tanks were low. The final straw came recently when someone who has relied on me a lot completely forgot to collect me from somewhere as agreed, and had to be reminded, and I had to wait about in the cold and the gathering dusk for nearly 15 minutes.

Shit was lost. I did contemplate fucking off with Brains and Batshit for a few days, but it's almost Christmas and I'm being relied on there, too, obvs, and I don't want to spoil it for me or the family members who don't deserve my ire.

<breathes>

So yes, Cher, 💯understood and massive sympathy.

The Staunch Ally has a Pedant's Corner, set to music, and may have their own version of Android, currently stuck on cloning. Unless our Android did some work for them.

https://youtube.com/shorts/Q5xEA4Ih0aM?si=MnTemYZkmT-70zvS

Incidentally, is it 'Pedant's Corner' or 'Pedantry Corner'.

Eta link and take superfluous 'n's out of Pedant.

The Bluestocking has a Pedantry Corner.
MN has Pedants’ Corner.

Perhaps the SA has a Pedant’s Corner if they’ve just got one lonely pedant to accommodate?

https://youtube.com/shorts/Q5xEA4Ih0aM?si=MnTemYZkmT-70zvS

Hopefully this link works.

I've won £150 since January. My sister who has less than me in PBs seems to win nearly every bloody month, always small amounts though.

I think the Staunch Ally's Pedant's Corner is actually a box that the pedants take turns to conduct their formal pedantry upon. So, only one formal pedant at a time but possible lots of informal pedants in the audience and around the rest of the pub.

It wasn't because I was so caught up in the spelling that I completely lost sight of the apostrophes.

That is excellent!

I want more!

Co Pilot is throwing a paddy and is refusing to create images.

Have a written version instead

---

Scene: The Sickroom Serenade

• 🛏️ Mountain Lioness in Bed

Nestled beneath a patchwork quilt, her nose red and eyes watery, the lioness reclines with a weary dignity. A hot water bottle peeks out from under the covers, steam curling from a teacup on the bedside table.

• 🐹 Nurse Gerbils

Tiny, bustling figures in crisp white aprons scurry about. One balances a tray of tea and biscuits, another fluffs pillows with exaggerated care, and a third checks her temperature with a comically oversized thermometer.

• 🎹 The Piano Gerbil

At the grand piano sits a gerbil in shimmering 1920s evening dress—tails, bow tie, and patent shoes. Her paws dance across the keys, filling the room with Noel Coward’s witty melodies, each note a tonic for the lioness’s sniffles.

• 🍸 The Singer Gerbil

Draped in sequins, feather boa trailing, she leans against the piano with a martini glass in paw. Between verses, she takes delicate sips, her voice lilting with playful sophistication, turning the sickroom into a cabaret.

---

Hugs to Edith & Cher. Sometimes all the cr!p comes at once - which at least means somewhere out there, quieter times are waiting for you to get to them.

Right…definitely not Muphry’s Law in action.

That is perfect! ChatGPT generated a lovely image from the text but MN won't load it. 😪

💐to Edith and Cher.
I know what you mean, Edith. I've learnt in a very concentrated period of time that when people said 'What goes around, comes around' 'You get back what you give to people' when I did good things for other people, they were 100% wrong.
'Eaten bread is soon forgotten', isn't it?
The only way to cope with it is to remind myself that when I was being supportive to other people, it was because that's who I am, ich kann nicht anders, and I did it without any thought of future reciprocity.
I guess you are like that too - you did what you did for those forgetful people because that's who Edith is. And I believe you will make Christmas a warm place for everybody
But it rankles.

I imagine Batshit sat at your feet throughout all these emotions, looking like there was nothing and nobody else in the entire world except you, and there was nothing but fun and walks and dogfood and treats in the whole Universe... i.e. you🐶

I wanted to run away to somewhere I was happy in France, but given that I couldn't even make it up to Belfast to be in the same room as ✨NC✨, I quickly abandoned the idea

Hugs to all Bluestockingers who need them, I hereby delegate Gelsomina to bring a gerbil smile into each of your hearts💙

Oh. MN is still not uploading any photos, is it just me?

While I'm on the subject of ✨NC✨, I have an awful confession to make - I'm only confessing it to you because I know I am among friends and you will forgive this shocking lapse into objectifying such a highly respected person and never ever let anyone else know about it😐

You know the photo that Sex Matters posted when announcing NC's retirement ...she's sitting on a bench, wearing a green shirt, looking absolutely cool AF?

I am deeply ashamed to say that the song 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' popped into my head.
I hang my head in shame.😞
But I also think it's very funny😁
I hang my head in shame again😞

<giggles>
<hangs head in shame>
<repeat>

I haven't thought about Right Said Fred in years. Probably not since Alessandra Mussolini was active in Italian politics, and it was hard not to think 'I'm too sexy for my black shirt'...

I have discovered the reason behind the image issue.

Cloudflare has had another outage, affecting LinkedIn and other sites. I think this is why I was unable to upload my image earlier.

If you remember, it meant we couldn't post anything in the middle of Sara Morrison's tribunal.

I will try again later, when they've fixed it.

That might explain my co pilot issue as well

I referenced Come Into the Garden Maud on Monday at 19.48 (yes, I searched) and no-one apparently noticed BUT I seem to have planted a subliminal suggestion that burrowed its way in and then surfaced days later.

Interesting, maybe I need a sinister basement laboratory of my own.

I've just sorted my CDs into order.

I definitely do not need to buy an 80s compilation album ever again!

ignoring all my other CDs, If I add in the 70s compilations to the 80s ones I reckon I could listen to a different CD every week for all of 2026!

Me! Me! I noticed it, Deano! It's just that there isn't a I RECOGNIZE THAT ATROCIOUS POEM BY ALFRED 'LAWN' TENNYSON reaction button, and things move so quickly here

It is really bad, from the over-comma-dependent second line -

Come into the garden, Maud,
For the black bat, night, has flown
to
The slender acacia would not shake
One long milk-bloom on the tree;
The white lake-blossom fell into the lake
As the pimpernel dozed on the lea;
🙄

edited to say that I challenge anyone to read the last two lines aloud and not dissolve into laughter, as I keep doing, no matter how many times I read it.
I hope that pimpernel lost its job as lifeguard at the lake

I think that song may have been lurking in the upper layers of some of our minds ever since Maud first arrived at the Bluestocking tbh

haters gotta hate, poets gotta poem

I don't think Alfred was much of a botanist.