The Bluestocking: it's the season of mulled wine, conversations about pineapple and, of course, gerbils. Confused? You will be...

[EdithStourton]

Welcome to the anarchic and marvellous women-only on-line pub, the Bluestocking. The booze won't give you a hangover, the cakes won't make you fat, and the conversations are fascinating, covering knitting, health and safety, the Muppets and anything else that comes to mind.

Climb Peak Woo, have a cuddle with Rosie the Red Panda, and watch out for capybaras busy with any necessary building works.

Welcome in (and name change at the door if you need too).

Dear lord, this is as bad as when they unionised and got militant tendencies.
how come they’re usually such charming and obliging beasts but occasionally lurch into excess of some sort?

is it washable?

Bloody hell i have missed the lights

@MyrtleLion

Gubbins did a school project on the tulip bulb mania of 1637. I suspect that has influenced their pricing structure

I never thought of myself as an authority on goats until I watched Fight Club with a friend.

Her: What's this thing about rubber bands? I don't get the reference

Me: Oh, that's like when you're castrating goats on the farm

This was a subtheme of a conversation that went more like this

Her (at the beginning): This is a sports movie, right? With Brad Pitt as the kooky romantic lead?

Her (a little over an hour in): This brings to life all my fears of what men are really like when we aren't keeping an eye on them

The important question of the day.

I'm seriously considering sending myself a Christmas card from Moonpig with a photo of 'The Maud' on the front just so I can have it in my living room as my Christmas decoration. It'll be cheaper than buying one off the gerbils!

Time for tired little gerbils to snuggle down and sleep - god I can't believe I actually wrote that, I must do some serious work to restore my tough devil-may-care butch image - if I ever had one😁

G'night all - sweet dreams and quiet sleep to all, gerbiloid, humanoid or Android🌛

Why, what have you done to it?

The gerbils will be able to supply you with the requisite peach, grapefruit & avocado-scented soap flakes & a bottle of lobster tears: that should do the job. But it's up to you to negotiate the price with them.

It's their inability to curb their enthusiasm. On their own they aren't too bad, you can talk an individual gerbil back down to what's realistic.

But leave ten of them in the staff break room for more than five minutes and they're off and running with an idea before anyone has a chance to dissuade them.

And everybody needs an outlet. You can't be charming & obliging all the time.

Right, I'm off to bed.

I'm taking Greta with me as I can't find my hot water bottle.

Night night.

Night night! I've never seen you look so stylish.

Oidhche mhaith a chairde

It was you who mentioned blood, sweat and tears. Which is a bit perturbing coming from an android

Do you often dress as a small herd of Highland cows? It’s a good look but a risky one.

You can't beat shortbread box chic.

Doesn't everyone? I like to match my surroundings.

Mmm. Fair enough. Don't ask.

And this morning's earworm is "Come into the garden, Maud".

I must have heard it on the wireless as a child.

Yes, and I’m sure I’ve heard a more recent recording not so long ago but can’t think who by.

I somehow suspect in our childhoods this Maud may have featured in some of the radio comedies innuendos.

I have awoken with a lurg.

Sore throat, hoarse voice, feeling uncoordinated as if someone has started to turn off my brain.

I know it's a virus because I'm on really strong antibiotics. And I suspect that is why I have a lurg (a yuckiness that might turn into the dreaded lurgy) because I have no friendly bacteria to fight it off.

I would love to go back to bed but I have an appointment at 10 and a call at 1pm. I may be able to put off the call.

Hopefully it’s the one day cold some people are experiencing at the moment. Bad timing though and you could definitely do without it.

My mum used to sing this. Ahhhhh....

I think we should send the gerbils.on a Christmas outing to a production of "A Christmas Carol". They like a bit of theatrical Dickens and it might help them to see what really matters.