The Bluestocking - Raiders of the Lost Sparp

[lcakethereforeIam]

Welcome everyone. Wipe your feet, it's been wet out.

Don't forget to namechange before posting if necessary.

I have a sleepmask with in-built speakers. Doesn't disturb the walrus.

My go-to action after 30 minutes awake was to get up, make tea and read. Beds are for two things, neither of which need a TV and if I'm not asleep (or being active...) then I would get up until I'm sleepy again.

Unfortunately with my injury it's been impossible to make tea while on crutches and would disturb the walrus in any case, and getting up has been very difficult.

I've been told I don't have to elevate my leg now the stitches have been removed, unless it's swollen, so I'm hopeful that not having my leg raises up on pillows in bed may lead to a better night's sleep.

Peers round door and spots basket in the corner.

I bring news. The Telegraph has got hold of "an internal BBC whistleblowing report" and "will soon publish (other) excerpts of the memo, which...accuse the corporation of "effective censorship" of its coverage of the transgender debate".

Exclusive: BBC ‘doctored’ Trump speech, internal report reveals

Welcome!

I asked ChatGPT to show you curled up in a basket with a gerbil offering you drinks and snacks and it presented you as a very demure cocker spaniel (probably the Miss in your name) sitting at the table. Which is fine obviously, but I assumed you wanted to be in the basket. It took a couple of tries.

Anyway, the gerbils will provide whatever you want and due to Bluestocking magic, no calories or alcohol-induced nastiness will ensue.

I will now read the article.

Colin is slightly confused but willing to share.

Well I don't usually share cake but will make an exception for Colin.

Myrtle, I hope you are feeling much better.

I still don't know how Colin ( a boy dog) manages to retain his place in the Bluestocking, even if he is both cute and quiet!

I thought it was short for colinetta, i did wonder about the funny damp mannish smell that lingers

I haven't paid the licence fee for almost two years now. At the current rate of the BBC's decline, I won't be paying it ever again.

Also re Colin, perhaps he just identifies as a boy.
(I have a feeling that we have had this conversation before.)

Because I accidentally brought him here in 2017. I lost my lovely boy Robbie about 3 years ago so… yeah. Colin got to stay when I reopened the pub a while back and kicked any other males out to the Staunch Ally.

oh Errol it was you that re opened the pub, i could not remember.

but thank you for that.

sorry about your doggy loss.

but we must insist on female dogs only, you know where bending the rules gets us

actually… if memory serves the rule was only re Adult Human Males…don’t you remember Kevin and Steve Seagulls? It’s Glenda’s little problem which made separating the gerbils expedient but I don’t really see the need to banish our faithful four footed friends apart from that.

I must emphasise i am not being serious, i do not like dogs that much so terribly bias on the issue anyway, although i appreciate the importance to others and the love they can bring.

Gemini has now provided us with a female concierge. Her husband Mr Nibbles has taken up a new job at the Staunch Ally, where he's proving invaluable. No worries about the patter of tiny paws, as Mrs Nibbles is a founder member of the 'We Gerbils Just Do Not Care Club'. She says her hot flushes have persuaded Mr Nibbles that he's better off sleeping in not just a different room but a different building.

Anyway, if anyone wants to book the sleep gerbil, the dream gerbil or a wake-up call, give Mrs Nibbles a ring.

Welcome @misscockerspaniel

We do also have Swash's Bear who is also male and currently entertaining Colin whilst @misscockerspaniel snoozes in his basket.

Can Mrs Nibbles ring through to my room at 7.30 and arrange for Glenda to have a full cooked English breakfast and a large pot of tea delivered at 8.00. If she could arrange for the breakfast to be piped in by the tartan army gerbils that would be perfect.

It’s a mercy the walls of the Bluestocking are thick and the pipes of the gerbils are small - being woken by their skirl would not be my ide of an ideal start to the day.

I'm about to put the Dream Gerbils and the Sleep Gerbils to the test, nothing fancy please, just a good night's sleep, and any old dream as long as it doesn't involve being late for an exam and not knowing where the exam hall is
G'night all, especially Myrtle, I hope you have a more comfortable night.

Good night and sweet dreams all.
(I don’t want the one that involves a journey involving a change of planes in a confusing airport and some sort of problem with paperwork. Though the last one I can remember, I didn’t have a passport, but realised I was dreaming so just waved some blank paper around like Dr Who does and that worked fine. The fact I remembered it suggests I woke up so I definitely don’t want it.)

what I really need is the iPad monitor gerbil who will impose some discipline on me by confiscating it by midnight.

Oidhche mhaith

Our t'internet has been cutting out for some time (last few weeks). It started while I was in hospital and had to arrange an engineer. He came but the problem continued. I arranged for another engineer to come tomorrow morning between 8 and 12.

T'internet then cut out twice tonight (in the middle of trying to catch up with last night's Married at First Sight, though heaven knows why I bother, it's quite dull and if it's not dull, it's abusive) for over an hour.

So we factory reset the router which got it back even though some settings created by the walrus (who knows about such things) had not reset so Virgin Media are liars.

Anyway, there was a moment when I thought it had fixed it and I would have to sheepishly tell the engineer that he'd made an unnecessary journey. Fortunately but not really, it just went off again before I could check my images - Miss Cocker Spaniel looks enormous in her Colin's basket, but I'm sure it's a trick of the light or something.

Which means the engineer is still coming and still needs to fix it.

The walrus has the dentist at 10.30 and has promised to make me some cardamom tea for 10am as an incentive to ensure I am awake and downstairs so I can let the engineer in if he hasn't shown up by then.

Which is a long-winded way of asking for some sweet dreams from the Dream Gerbil and lots of deep sleep from the Sleep Gerbil (I even stayed late to help it along), and a Gerbil marching band with bagpipes and drums, bringing a large pot of cardamom tea for about 9am.

Many thanks!

Preparations for the morning are underway...

They've heard Myrtle's a heavy sleeper once she's away, so they've sent out for reinforcements. ETA 8.55am Tuesday.

The snag with being five hours behind most of you is that I end up posting stuff that everyone else has forgotten talking about… but in my yard we tend to see mainly goldfinches, blue jays, sometimes American robins (which are slightly different from English robins) and very occasionally cardinals, as well as the lovely little chickadees. I do miss magpies and blackbirds though.

Wow!