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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Who‘s coming to FiLIA?

786 replies

lanadelgrey · 23/08/2025 10:33

I‘m starting to get excited.
Are there plans for a MN meetup?

OP posts:
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61
Shinyredbicycle · 20/10/2025 15:36

The email from FiLiA stated some facts, presumably to let attendees know that they'd taken action in regard to two women who had behaved in an aggressive and intimidatory manner at the disco.

I'm not sure that it would have been appropriate for them to add they would also be refusing entry to some other women on the Sunday tbh.

I think A and DJ should take up their being refused entry on the Sunday with FiLiA, but no amount of you SHOUTING is going to create an intimation that wasn't in the email.

SpaceRaccoon · 20/10/2025 15:57

I think A and DJ should take up their being refused entry on the Sunday with FiLiA, but no amount of you SHOUTING is going to create an intimation that wasn't in the email.

They have and they're not getting answers.

Shedmistress · 20/10/2025 16:29

Shinyredbicycle · 20/10/2025 15:36

The email from FiLiA stated some facts, presumably to let attendees know that they'd taken action in regard to two women who had behaved in an aggressive and intimidatory manner at the disco.

I'm not sure that it would have been appropriate for them to add they would also be refusing entry to some other women on the Sunday tbh.

I think A and DJ should take up their being refused entry on the Sunday with FiLiA, but no amount of you SHOUTING is going to create an intimation that wasn't in the email.

If you bar 2 people and say publicly that you barred 2 people for their behaviour then the intimation is that the 2 people that were barred were barred for their behaviour.

TinselAngel · 20/10/2025 16:59

Presumably four women were barred.

Shinyredbicycle · 20/10/2025 17:46

Only if you want it to be. It wasn't Filia that put the information about who was barred in the public domain.

TinselAngel · 20/10/2025 18:18

Shinyredbicycle · 20/10/2025 17:46

Only if you want it to be. It wasn't Filia that put the information about who was barred in the public domain.

This is getting like 1984.

2 +2 is still 4 as far as I am aware. What I want isn’t relevent.

Shedmistress · 20/10/2025 18:55

TinselAngel · 20/10/2025 16:59

Presumably four women were barred.

Exactly. Why mention 2 if there were 4 that were barred?

Talkinpeace · 20/10/2025 18:57

I have expressed my views clearly in emails to Filia
and on Xtwitter

The changes they need to make are clear
I hope they do it.

Not repeating here as this account does not link to my other ones.

Shinyredbicycle · 20/10/2025 19:36

Flia stated that 2 women were removed from the disco and not allowed to attend the next day.

ArealAdultHumanFemale · 21/10/2025 04:38

I've emailed them. Had a holding response

notsurewherenotsurewhy · 21/10/2025 07:23

Shinyredbicycle · 20/10/2025 11:25

Quite. They've said they're going to review their due diligence processes.

Shedmistress the info about the FiliA volunteer and A was from Milli Hill's blog. She's amended it now. I don't think F have a duty to make a public statement about this situation at this point tbh. There is much more serious stuff for them to be dealing with.

And in terms of attendees' behaviour, the first women who went on stage were two older women who proceeded to take their bras off and perform an imitation of a sex act. I'm not sure that was welcomed by everyone present tbh

"Much more serious stuff" to you, maybe. For some of us, the seemingly very racialised banning of a Black woman who had done nothing wrong is pretty fucking serious stuff - particularly given the discomfort with her presence seems to have been connected with a platformed speaker (MH) and a volunteer (per MH's blog), and FiLiA actually took the decision to prevent her from entering conference the following day. It's not like the call to comment on this (in reply to Aja's own requests, if not within the statement) is asking FiLiA to comment on a dispute among attendees only.

I'm very much on the side of FiLiA, it's a more natural political home for me than LWS etc, and I don't want it to cease existing and putting on events such as last weekend's, but the longer this goes unaddressed the more upset and appalled I am.

darned · 21/10/2025 09:39

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Shedmistress · 21/10/2025 09:42

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Or are these people who call themselves 'feminists' not really feminists at all?

If black, lesbian or Jewish women arent part of the gang, who'd want to be in their gang anyway?

RobinEllacotStrike · 21/10/2025 11:43

Many of the FiLiA volunteers, (and trustees), are black, lesbian &/or Jewish. Also many are working class and many are asylum seekers.

So far I've seen FiLiA called her, on X & in various articles/substacks etc, sexist, racist, anti-semitic, classist. Anything I've missed? Oh yes allegedly there was a TiM at Filia lording over women too (not that I or any of the 100+ women I knew at FiLiA saw him).

Everyone blaming FiLiA for creating & holding a unique space for many different women to come together. Some of these women intentionally behaved very very badly, and then all they turn and point the finger at FiLiA "It's HER fault".

What a mess.

Shedmistress · 21/10/2025 11:58

RobinEllacotStrike · 21/10/2025 11:43

Many of the FiLiA volunteers, (and trustees), are black, lesbian &/or Jewish. Also many are working class and many are asylum seekers.

So far I've seen FiLiA called her, on X & in various articles/substacks etc, sexist, racist, anti-semitic, classist. Anything I've missed? Oh yes allegedly there was a TiM at Filia lording over women too (not that I or any of the 100+ women I knew at FiLiA saw him).

Everyone blaming FiLiA for creating & holding a unique space for many different women to come together. Some of these women intentionally behaved very very badly, and then all they turn and point the finger at FiLiA "It's HER fault".

What a mess.

How did the two women being discussed here 'behave very very badly'?

RobinEllacotStrike · 21/10/2025 12:06

oh sorry are we only talking about 2 women? I didn't realise.

I'm not actually talking about two women. I don't know why Aja & Lippy werent allowed in on Sunday & I too would like to know this.

I am replying in general to points raised on this thread, and more specifically to the ridiculous accusation that all these women of many different ethnicities, colours, nationalites, religions, sexualities, political persuasions and classes have joined together to create "FiLiA is, at its core, a racist and antisemitic organisation."

ParmaVioletTea · 21/10/2025 12:37

Indeed @RobinEllacotStrike I think there are a lot of ridiculous assumptions on this thread. Just ridiculous.

Shedmistress · 21/10/2025 14:52

ParmaVioletTea · 21/10/2025 12:37

Indeed @RobinEllacotStrike I think there are a lot of ridiculous assumptions on this thread. Just ridiculous.

Can you be specific about these assumptions?

RobinEllacotStrike · 21/10/2025 15:17

"If black, lesbian or Jewish women arent part of the gang, who'd want to be in their gang anyway?"

^ One ridiculous assumption untethered in any reality.

"the seemingly very racialised banning of a Black woman"
^ another ridiculous assumption is that any women excluded would be because of her race. Its simply untrue, harmful stirring , untethered in any reality.

I've only looked back a few posts.

ArabellaSaurus · 21/10/2025 15:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Does it, aye? Welcome to mumsnet, btw.

😂

Shedmistress · 21/10/2025 17:47

RobinEllacotStrike · 21/10/2025 15:17

"If black, lesbian or Jewish women arent part of the gang, who'd want to be in their gang anyway?"

^ One ridiculous assumption untethered in any reality.

"the seemingly very racialised banning of a Black woman"
^ another ridiculous assumption is that any women excluded would be because of her race. Its simply untrue, harmful stirring , untethered in any reality.

I've only looked back a few posts.

It isn't an assumption if they literally banned a black lesbian from attending an event she had paid in full for.

Talkinpeace · 21/10/2025 21:19

Aja and Lippy were not in any of the altercations on the Saturday night.
JH and JCJ were
along with a couple of other ladies who had to be physically separated in the bar.

Only Aja and Lippy were barred on the Sunday

make it make sense

Shinyredbicycle · 22/10/2025 03:36

I don't think anyone on this thread is going up be able to make it make sense tbh.

It's not clear why A and DJ were refused entry on Sunday. They have written to FiLiA and are writing for a response. Meanwhile, the 5 trustees (all women with other commitments) are dealing with the charity commission, the police, wash up from the conference and about 20,000 emails, many from hurt, distressed and/or angry women. They're commissioning an independent investigation into the safeguarding failures at the party and being bombarded with statements from groups.

I'm not sure that going round in circles saying the thing is going to further any sense-making tbh.

RobinEllacotStrike · 22/10/2025 13:26

Shedmistress · 21/10/2025 17:47

It isn't an assumption if they literally banned a black lesbian from attending an event she had paid in full for.

If Aja was banned, and it sounds like she was on the Sunday, it will 100% NOT be because she is black, or a lesbian.

That Aja was banned because of either her race or sexual orientation, or both, is the ridiculous assumption, untethered in reality.

notsurewherenotsurewhy · 22/10/2025 22:16

RobinEllacotStrike · 22/10/2025 13:26

If Aja was banned, and it sounds like she was on the Sunday, it will 100% NOT be because she is black, or a lesbian.

That Aja was banned because of either her race or sexual orientation, or both, is the ridiculous assumption, untethered in reality.

It was my post you quoted (aware I'm not the only person on this thread voicing this issue, though):

"the seemingly very racialised banning of a Black woman"

You're right that none of us yet know why Aja and Lippy were banned. However, it's not at all ridiculous to acknowledge the racist overtones in MH's blog relating to this aspect (Milli's self-reported anxiety that Aja was there to attack her, rather than simply because it's a massive feminist conference; and the FiLiA volunteer she reports as helpfully pointing out Aja to her, as if she's some sort of threat to be aware of) - which actually constitutes a massive proportion of what is currently known about this ban!

And, of course, none of us can really prove that MH being (or claiming to be) frightened of Aja, and a FiLiA volunteer apparently humouring that, had anything to do with race. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. But there is a rich fucking history of White women weaponising their fears of Black people (men and women), and of Black women being perceived as aggressive, excessively angry, difficult. So until I hear otherwise, I'll continue to recognise that this unexplained banning, which nobody seems to have any explanation for, and which FiLiA has yet to comment on, seems to have taken place in a racialised context.